Suddenly I realized how many proctologists are on the road.
I wonder where I poo tit.
He loves being in the limelight.
They stole the sticker and left the car.
I think I made an impression.
So I called the phone number listed and said, “I think it’s with your steering wheel.”
I stopped in the Name of the Lord.
I got arrested for flipping him the bird.
The driver was arrested for armed robbery.
Wanna get faded?
Take the bumpers off of your car.
All over the country people would put up my signs and bumper stickers...
He told me it must be the first bumper sticker ever
I was born in Detroit, and my dad told me this story about this gang in our area. Apparently as an initiation, this gang would stand on top of a bridge that an expressway went under. They had long chain; and by extending the chain low enough, they would try to bust the windshields of cars driving under the bridge. One guy took the chain and wrapped it around his arm for a better grip. Well the chain somehow got attached to someone's bumper, taking the chain with it. It ripped the guy's arm clean off! The police came, and THEY ARRESTED THE FREAKING DRIVER. Unbelievable. You know what they arrested him for? Armed robbery.
My sister: Dad look, They heart their dachshund!
Dad: At least they don't club 'em.
He's the funny man around town.
My friend had a truck on his lawn full of firewood for the bonfire planned for later in the party. This guy who just arrived walks into the kitchen and says, "Hey, you know you've got a truck growing outta your lawn?" My friend replies, "Yeah, I planted a couple GMC emblems and it just sprouted up!" The guy, without a moment's hesitation says. "Damn, that's a real bumper crop!" Everyone in the kitchen died laughing and the guy, who didn't really know anyone there, instantly became the centre of the party.
Basically they gave me bumper to bumper repair coverage for an extra 50 a month. The loan officer told me that if I get the coverage and I need a tow at anytime, the coverage designates me a free tow whenever I need it.
So I says "no thanks, I've already got 10"
My son was inspecting the front bumper of my car. He said "Dad there's a lot of bugs on your bumper." I said "They should Dodge." I drive a Dodge Journey.