I never thought The Bumper Book of Farming would be such a difficult bedtime read.

But it's full of words I've never even herbivore.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Cecil_the_wonderdog
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 11 2021
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I saw a bumper sticker saying β€œI am a veterinarian, therefore I can drive like an animal”

Suddenly I realized how many proctologists are on the road.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 31
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tfowler11
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 12 2020
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We got sent extra bumper plates for weight lifting.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JCtheWanderingCrow
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 06 2020
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I seem to have misplaced my bumper book of childish humour

I wonder where I poo tit.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Fingerbob73
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 17 2020
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What did one bumper sticker say to the exact same bumper sticker?

We're iden-decals!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/baloads
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 07 2019
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The national news did a story on my friend's bumper crop of green citrus fruits...

He loves being in the limelight.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 20 2019
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Hoping to collect on insurance, I bought a bumper sticker for my old car saying, "Please Steal Me." Unfortunately it didn't work.

They stole the sticker and left the car.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 20 2019
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I met the inventor of the car bumper today.

I think I made an impression.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/elokwins
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 25 2019
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I saw a car with a β€œHow am I driving?” bumper sticker.

So I called the phone number listed and said, β€œI think it’s with your steering wheel.”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 290
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 19 2018
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I rear ended a car with a Jesus bumper sticker on it.

I stopped in the Name of the Lord.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 27 2018
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I drove threw a flock of seagulls the other day. One of them hit my bumper, flew over my car and struck and police car behind me.

I got arrested for flipping him the bird.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/buckeyespud
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 22 2018
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There was a horrible accident in my town yesterday. A kid was playing with a yo-yo and it somehow got caught in a car's bumper. The car took off and ripped the poor kids arm off.

The driver was arrested for armed robbery.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/nyquill81
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 14 2017
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What did the bumper say to the sticker?

Wanna get faded?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Manartguy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 21 2018
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Bumper sticker
πŸ‘οΈŽ 114
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/burnz1
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 22 2014
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How do you get out of bumper to bumper traffic?

Take the bumpers off of your car.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 19
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kookoo831
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 11 2013
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Saw this on the way to work. Perfect combination of bumper stickers imgur.com/6FwvVh5
πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheKremlinGremlin
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 05 2013
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When my kid graduates high school I want him to go to Indiana for college.

Then I can have a β€œHoosier Daddy” bumper sticker.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/damscomp
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 07 2020
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I think I'm going to change my name to Hindsight and run for President

All over the country people would put up my signs and bumper stickers...

HINDSIGHT 2020

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/riskable
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 01 2019
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My dad saw a number sticker that said 'PILOT'

He told me it must be the first bumper sticker ever

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Thesaurususaurus
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 18 2018
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While passing a car with an "I heart my dachshund" sticker

My sister: Dad look, They heart their dachshund!

Dad: At least they don't club 'em.

He's the funny man around town.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/its_ok_im_a_doctor
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 28 2013
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Guy made an awesome party entrance with a cheesy dadjoke

My friend had a truck on his lawn full of firewood for the bonfire planned for later in the party. This guy who just arrived walks into the kitchen and says, "Hey, you know you've got a truck growing outta your lawn?" My friend replies, "Yeah, I planted a couple GMC emblems and it just sprouted up!" The guy, without a moment's hesitation says. "Damn, that's a real bumper crop!" Everyone in the kitchen died laughing and the guy, who didn't really know anyone there, instantly became the centre of the party.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/WebberWoods
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 16 2014
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Bought a new car today..

Basically they gave me bumper to bumper repair coverage for an extra 50 a month. The loan officer told me that if I get the coverage and I need a tow at anytime, the coverage designates me a free tow whenever I need it.

So I says "no thanks, I've already got 10"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BLOODY_TAINT_LICKER
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 18 2013
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Should Dodge

My son was inspecting the front bumper of my car. He said "Dad there's a lot of bugs on your bumper." I said "They should Dodge." I drive a Dodge Journey.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/rmwkaiser
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 26 2014
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I rear ended a car with a Jesus bumper sticker on it.

I stopped in the name of the Lord.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 13 2018
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