My wife got really mad when I told her she had no sense of direction
She packed up her bags and right.
You do know that modern appliances are really spying on us, and sending back data on our habits. In fact..
Vacuum cleaners have been gathering dirt on us for years.
I was really embarrassed when my wife caught me playing with my son’s train set by myself. In a moment of panic, I threw a bedsheet over it.
I think I managed to cover my tracks.
Anyone else notice that when you REALLY need an eye doctor they are hard to see?
I don’t really like my new haircut
I really wanted to become a monk.
But I never got the chants.
I think joule really likes this joke
I don’t really mind sitting on the left or right of a rowing boat.
My friend really changed when she became a vegetarian...
It’s like I’d never met herbivore
One of my friends was really in to fencing until his weapon broke
Apparently now it’s dull and pointless
I never thought the sun really goes around the earth
I came home really drunk last night and my wife wasn’t happy at all. “How much have you had to drink?” she asked sternly, staring at me. “Nothing” I slurred. “Look at me!” she shouted. “It’s either me or the pub, which one is it?”
I paused for a second while I thought and mumbled, “It’s you. I can tell by the voice.”
I hear she has really come out of her shell.
My family isn't really into pancakes.
We're more of a Waffle House.
Were they really fighting?
Or were they just Joshing around?
My British friend was really proud of his heritage until he found out that his great grandfather was from Transylvania.
Now he can even look at himself in the mirror.
It’s really hard for me to say what my wife does for a living.
She sells sea shells on the sea shore.
Sorry about quality just had to do this joke really quick, okey bye.
Im really Sorrey about this meme
I really want to try Kool-Aid, but...
I can’t figure out how to get 2 quarts of water in that tiny little envelope.
My wife said, “You really have no sense of direction, do you?”
I said, “Where did that come from?”
Edit: Thanks for the love. I’m right speechless.
They really mis-named the superhero called "Ant-man"
He should really be called Uncle.
Can't really take credit, my nieces made the joke while watching the movie. Regionally "Aunt" is pronounced as "ant"
I really need a thesaurus, but all the shops have sold out.
I can't describe how angry I am.
Really giving it my awl here in the shop
I saw a really accurate cosplay of frozen Han Solo.
I'm on the fence about the COVID-19 vaccine, but the free stuff you can get for showing your vaccination card looks really nice.
I guess it's worth a shot.
I really like watching animes.
But sometimes the plot is too drawn out.
I've worked really hard and only achieved becoming a taxi driver.
I can't believe that's all I have to chauffeur it.
I really don't like good elevators.
Not really a dad joke but...
Conversation with the daughter this morning. We are needing to go out and do some clothes shopping. Asked her if she's had breakfast, she looks at me with her phone in her hand and says "No, I've got no WiFi". "So, you need WiFi to have breakfast?".
I asked my friend to stop making Harry Potter puns and she got really mad
'Siriusly?' she said, 'what is Ron with you?'
What happens if a jacket potato is really hot?
Dad to his son; “Do you want to hear a really good Batman impression!?”
Son; “Go on, then.”
Dad growls; “NOOOOO, NOT THE KRYPTONITE!”
Son; “That’s Superman.”
Dad; “Thanks, I’ve been practicing a lot.”
I really like Switzerland
and the flag is a big plus too.
Do you know what group of people is really struggling with the pandemic?
Flat earthers, the social distancing is really putting them over the edge.
My college roommate, Anthony, was really into Italian food and Jamaican music.
We called him Reggae Tony.
My kid told me he had a problem. He was afraid of the toilet, but really had to go poop.
I told him it'll work itself out.
If you got married and they didn’t play “she’s some kind of wonderful” at the reception did you really get married?
Someone really did a number on the office bathroom.
I got really upset until I realized I work from home and I am the only one home.
My mail carrier got a sex change, so now she's really a post-man ...
guess she had the wrong package.
A mom joke really, as my wife said it as we walked passed an Easter service letting out where "Sunday finest" isn't a thing.
Me: "Really?! She wore ripped jeans to an Easter mass?"
Wife: "Those are her holy jeans."
I don’t really like the scarecrow from Wizard of Oz,
I think he’s a poorly thought character
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