My child just learned the alphabet but will only recognize 25 letters
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︎ Dec 21 2022
Why did the Star Wars movies came out in the order 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3β¦?
Because "in charge of scheduling, the Yoda was."
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︎ Nov 07 2022
If Jada Smith doesnβt like jokes about alopecia
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︎ Mar 28 2022
I hung up a steak in my bathroom.
I wanted a meatier shower.
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︎ Nov 21 2022
Iβve got a date for tomorrow.
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︎ Dec 12 2022
Sugar cane is the sweetest cane, walking cane is the slowest cane. What is the fastest cane?
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︎ Sep 30 2022
Why did the plastic surgeon become a stand-up comedian?
He was really good at keeping people in stitches
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︎ Nov 21 2022
Once upon a time, there lived a king who was only 12 inches tall. He was a terrible king...
But he made a great ruler.
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︎ Oct 08 2022
My parents sent me to a satanist school..
You wouldnβt believe the sacrifices they had to make!
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︎ Nov 27 2022
I donβt mean to brag, but my dad basically invented artificial bread.
He made such a great roll model.
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︎ Nov 11 2022
So I heard about a tower that's 7 stories tall...
I always thought it was 8 stories but hey that's a whole other story.
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︎ Nov 13 2022
Someone has stolen all my window coverings
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︎ Oct 02 2022
I was bullied a lot in school.
To be fair, I was going to matador school.....
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︎ Nov 17 2022
What do you call a skydiving cow?
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︎ Nov 24 2022
What do you call a Mexican that lost his car?
π︎ 3
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︎ Dec 12 2022
How much does corn cost in Tampa Bay?
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︎ Oct 17 2022
Math needs to grow upβ¦
and learn to solve itβs own problems.
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︎ Sep 15 2022
Meet my friends that are identical twins..
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︎ Oct 21 2022
I named my son Otto
So when he grows up, he will be an Ottoman.
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︎ Nov 04 2022
where is the worst place to hide in a hospital?
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︎ Oct 10 2022
Used to know a great boomerang joke but can't remember it right now. Oh well...
...I'm sure it'll come back to me.
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︎ Sep 03 2022
why did the mushroom like to party?
Because he was a fungi !!
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︎ Sep 22 2022
An entire generation of youth will only know Billy Ray Cyrus for the song "Old Town Road"
That breaks my heart, my achy breaky heart.
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︎ Nov 07 2022
who is this knight called Cadian?
And why does this Sir's rhythm keep messing with my sleeping schedule?
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︎ Nov 21 2022
What's red and looks like a bucket?
A red bucket.
What's blue and looks like a bucket?
A red bucket in disguise.
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︎ Nov 22 2022
New York City's government is so incompetent on New Year's Eve.
They always drop the ball.
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︎ Nov 26 2022
I just canβt believe this.. Robbers broke into my house, but all they took was my limbo stick.
I mean, how low can you go?
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︎ Sep 20 2022
Have you ever considered a career as a commercial airline pilot?
I hear there's plenty of room for upward mobility.
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︎ Oct 18 2022
Graveyards never have enough employeesβ¦
They always have a skeleton crew.
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︎ Oct 12 2022
I didnβt realize I spilled dish soap on myself
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︎ Sep 27 2022
local Community College raised tuition for their art class
That's where I draw the lime
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︎ Oct 31 2022
Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth.
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︎ Oct 05 2022
The longest word in the English language is smiles.
Because thereβs a mile between the two Sβs.
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︎ Sep 26 2022
I once knew a guy who lost his job as an elevator operator
He had a hard time learning the route
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︎ Oct 02 2022
Have you heard of the man that raises chickens?
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︎ Oct 09 2022
my wife said she didn't want steak from cows anymore...
So I bought us some steak from a bull. Now I'll never make that Miss-Steak again.
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︎ Oct 14 2022
What berry are the turtles allergic to?
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︎ Oct 01 2022
My girlfriend tried to kiss the postman
Iβm glad he wouldnβt letter.
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︎ Sep 23 2022
cows playing poker with high steaks
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︎ Aug 16 2022
Two guys walked into a bar.
You'd think the first guy would have noticed
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︎ Oct 10 2022
What did one eyebrow say to the other eyebrow?
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︎ Sep 01 2022
If Wal-Mart is lowering prices every day,
why isn't anything in the store free yet?
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︎ Sep 13 2022
A sweater I bought was picking up static electricity. So, I returned it to the store.
They gave me another one free of charge.
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︎ Jun 23 2022
What kind of flour do orphans use to bake bread?
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︎ Oct 07 2022
My bald friend always looks forward to sunny days.
Thatβsβ¦.his time to shine.
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︎ Jun 03 2022
A judge orders Mario to pay $10,000. Mario asks why? The judge says βItβs a fineβ
Mario looks down and replies βNo, itsa notβ
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︎ Jul 03 2022
I used to tap dance but I had to stop because
I kept falling into the sink!
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︎ Sep 03 2022
My personal trainer just told me I can bulk up without using protein shakes.
π︎ 6
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︎ Jul 28 2022
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