Why did they bring in the pencil for questioning?
Police were questioning an egg
He couldn’t say anything, he was scrambling for words.
We once were questioning a perp who wouldn't say anything without his coarse file with cutting points instead of lines. After getting it, he immediately confessed...
They took my 4’6” friend in for questioning the other day
I have to admit, he was a little suspect.
They took the piece of Swiss cheese down to the station for questioning...
His alibi seemed to check out, but his story was full of holes.
Which system of government had the biggest problem of people always questioning their grandmothers?
Question:
Did I already post my amnesia joke?
What’s big, grey, and asks a lot of questions?
A formerly blind man finishes his last round of eye surgery to gain his sight. The doctor asks if he has any last questions.
Patient: no, I think I'll see my self out.
Don’t you just hate people that answer their own question?
I’ve given up asking rhetorical questions.
My 6 year old told me this one today. Why do dogs carry bones in their mouths?
Because they don't have pockets.
I went to a job interview today and the interviewer asked me "what is your greatest weakness?". I said "I am too honest"
He said "I don't think that's a weakness"
"Well I don't give a f* what you think"
My 8 year old nephew attended his first wedding. But his cousin had a question for his after the ceremony.
"Hey, how many women can a guy marry?"
"16!"
"How did you figure that out."
"Simple. I just listen to the minister and added them up: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer. That's 16!
The final question in our pub quiz last night was ‘name the indigenous people who are often referred to as Eskimo’. I’m so disappointed I got it wrong especially as....
I mustache you a question...
but I'll shave it for later.
I was lecturing on the criminal law concept of hot pursuit, and I asked there were any questions.
A student asked "what if you're ugly?'
As an old dad, I was befuddled for a moment before asking "did you just tell a dad joke?" She grinned, and I commissioned her as a dad on the spot.
I was standing in front of the bathroom mirror one evening admiring my reflection, when I posed this question to my wife of 30 years, “Will you still love me when I’m old, fat, and balding?” She smiled and answered...
[META] Could we get some moderation in this sub?
In my eyes, this sub has a serious problem with non-dadjoke posts. Sub-reddit rule #1 is "Jokes must be dad jokes.". What good are the rules if they aren't enforced? I do realize that what constitutes a dadjoke might not be clarely defined, but we get a lot of posts that are marked nsfw. That's a "This is not a dadjoke"-flag. Why not start with removing nsfw posts?
PS: Why do we have rule #6? It is not possible for a dadjoke to be nsfw, so it should never be relevant.
Important questions being asked
I have a serious question...
So imagine you are transexual but suddenly one day you decide to stop being it. Then you are Trans former?
My dad had a burning question about grammar and I didn't know the answer so I came here to ask it.
His question was, "Is 'buttcheeks' one word?"
"Or should I spread them apart?"
I was once offered the chance to join a secret club, where anyone who asks a question is permanently banned.
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
(Apparently you get deleted by a bot for having the punchline in the title, forcing me to spoil the joke by including some text rather than leaving this blank as it should be to get the full effect.)
A duck walks into a drugstore to pick up a prescription. The pharmacist asks him,
"Cash or charge?"
The duck replies, "Nah....Just put it on my bill!"
I have a genuine question
Jen, you in the living room?
Ancient South American owls always worked together secretly.
I came home really drunk last night and my wife wasn’t happy at all. “How much have you had to drink?” she asked sternly, staring at me. “Nothing” I slurred. “Look at me!” she shouted. “It’s either me or the pub, which one is it?”
I paused for a second while I thought and mumbled, “It’s you. I can tell by the voice.”
I have a pencil that used to belong to William Shakespeare. He chewed it a lot.
Now, I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B!
I built a model of Mount Everest and my son asked, “Is it to scale?” I replied, “No…”
Once I became a parent, I finally understood the . . .
scene where Yoda gets so tired of answering Luke's questions that he just dies.
USPS Questions
Should tortillas be sent flat rate?
Is armor headgear sent over knight?
Is an addicts mail tracked?
Is mail to Gold's gym sent bulk rate?
Should mail to a school's kindergarten be sent 1st class?
Should the IRS send return receipts?
just wondering...
Question: What are doldrums?
I was on a diabetes awareness website and it asked me if I accept cookies...
Is this a trick question?
What is the difference between a radius and a diameter?
I have one question for victims of ninjas...
Question
Why is today not National ballerina day?
I mean it is 2-2 after all
Jean-Pierre’s dream of meeting an Extra-Terrestrial finally came true. His first question for the alien was...
You must be from Mars, eh?
A simple question from my 6 year old son.
A meteorite is a small meteor, right?
Full credit to my son, he will truly make a great dad some day.
What does a pirate say on his 80th birthday?
What did Obi Wan say to Luke when he was dating morally questionable women?
Your thots will betray you.
Where do the best Ninjas come from?
Out of Nowhere.
Explanation: I asked my five year old this question to tell a joke I’d seen on Reddit. His answer was way better than mine so here you go, dads!
I got fired from my job at TGI Fridays.
At the meeting they told me 2 things;
1: in here, its always Friday
2: I am no longer required to work Fridays.
Don't question the context.
Dentists always ask dumb questions like “when’s the last time you flossed?”
Question
Did I already post my amnesia joke?
I mustache you a question...
...?
Can you shave it for later?
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