A man in an interrogation room says, β€œI’m not saying a word without my lawyer present!" The cop growls, "You ARE the lawyer!"

The lawyer shrieks, "Exactly! So where’s my present?!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2019
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What’s the difference between a classroom and an interrogation room?

You get your questions answered in one, and your answers questioned in the other.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chillipowder01
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2019
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A policeman was interrogating 3 guys who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first guys a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"

The first guy answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"

The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture I showed is his side profile."

Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second guy and asks him, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"

The second guy smiles, flips his hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"

The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?!!? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?"

Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third guy and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?

He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me a stupid answer."

The third guy looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "The suspect wears contact lenses."

The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.

"Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that."

He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file on his computer and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.

"Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does, in fact, wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?"

"That's easy..." the third guy replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2021
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I was interrogated by the police last week

They asked me "are you more of a skirt or a handbag?"

I thought about it for a second and confidently chose handbag.

"So you admit it! You're an accessory!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mcemzy
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2021
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I was interrogating a crab the other day and I asked it β€œWhat’s your name? Where do you live? What’s that on your back?”

It said β€œMichelle”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KinglerKong
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2021
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What did one fish detective say to the other fish detective after interrogating someone?

They’re really sus-fish-ous

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quinn_Likes_Tacos
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2021
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Cops should feed beans on very tiny plates to the suspects they're interrogating.

That way they're always gonna end up spilling the beans.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cryingcactuso
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
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A police officer, notorious for bad spelling, is set to interrogate three theives, Tim, Bob, and Joe.

When asked who he thinks will give up the location stolen goods, he replys β€œOnly Time will tell”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StefanE30325i
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
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I interrogated a member of the duck gang today.

Thankfully he quacked under the pressure...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kaelp667
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2020
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What did the hazelnut spread say to the interrogator?

β€œI’m NUTELLAn ya nothin!!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Balltanker
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
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Cop: Sit on that chair,so we can interrogate you.

Lawyer : (whispering) Deny everything.

Me : This isn't a chair.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cyclopropagative
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2020
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A local duck was interrogated by police for hours.

A spokesperson for the police said "Eventually he quacked under pressure".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/capngloval
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
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I was interrogated over the theft of cheese toasty

man,they really grilled me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jackieboi24
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2020
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Today I interrogated a spider

And found him in a web of lies

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Harami_nobita
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
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When I was a police officer I used to take suspects camping.

I was fired for my intense interrogations.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spallboy
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2021
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Two detectives interrogate a 37 year old mute man. The detectives give the man a notepad which he scribbles on for a few seconds, and hands back to them.

"I'll never talk."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VNPimpinella
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
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My grandfather was captured by the Germans in WWII. Being a high-ranking officer, they kept him captive for months but all he would do is sit in his cell saying "tick... tick... tick...". Their top interrogator was sent in to get important information out of him...

When in the interrogation room, he told my grandfather

"vee haf vays of making you tock!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FaultyData
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2019
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Always request to be interrogated while resting in a bed.

Because then you'd easily be lying all the time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yobos1111
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
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Any jehovah witnesses in here ? I want to interrogate them.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dagoor
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2019
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What did the cop say when interrogating the cheez-it?

Are you gonna cracker what?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/music_snake
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2019
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Why can't eggs be interrogated?

They break too easily.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bonanza86
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2016
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What did the Constitution say to the interrogator?

"I was framed!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jiberius
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2011
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Can someone help me with a joke?

I think I have something here, just need a little help with the ending. This is what I have so far.

In the interrogation room, Joe Ga pleaded with police to let him go. He explained the man they are really after is Joe Ka, who has been systematically committing crimes and calling out his own name in the process knowing how similar they sound.

"This is all just a setup, the real Joe Ka is..."

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
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Why should you never tell military secrets to a duck?

Ducks will always quack under interrogation.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pratojr
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
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Who steals all the soap in the bathroom?

The robber ducky

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2020
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Why do ducks make lousy spies?

They always quack under interrogation.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2019
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My Grandpa told the longest buildup to the "dad"-est joke I've ever heard.

So there was a murderer and his name was Ardy. His last name was too long and complicated and everyone knew him in town, so everyone called him "Ardy". One of his buddies asked him to kill this guy for $3000 and after Ardy did a bit of research, he realized he knew him and had a grudge against him for years. So Ardy told the guy: "I hate this guy so much, I'll kill him for free."

Ardy's buddy said "Are you sure? I gotta give you something!"

So Ardy said, "Ok ok. I'll do it for a dollar."

The next morning, the guy was at Meijer (A grocery store) and Ardy came up behind him and choked him with his scarf. When he was done killing him, there was a woman screaming at him to stop. So Ardy had to choke her with his scarf too. After that, he ran to his car and there was an old man watching him, so Ardy went over and choked him too. In the middle of killing the old man, the police pulled up and arrested Ardy. After a bit of interrogation, Ardy admitted to killing all of them, and especially the first guy for only a dollar.

The next morning, the headlines read:

Ardy Chokes 3 for a Dollar at Meijer

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Legownz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2016
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What do you call a reptile that asks a lot of questions?

An interrogator

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πŸ‘€︎ u/d4hm3r
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2016
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A man is arrested for cannibalism...

During interrogation the police ask,

"Why did you do it?"

"Well," he replied. "You are what you eat."

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2015
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A man sitting in an interrogation room says β€œI’m not saying anything without my lawyer present!”

The policeman says β€œYou are the lawyer!”

β€œExactly, so where’s my present?” Replies the lawyer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stvbckwth
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
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A man in an interrogation room says, β€œI’m not saying a word without my lawyer present!" The cop growls, "You ARE the lawyer!"

The lawyer shrieks, "Exactly! So where’s my present?!"

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
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A man in an interrogation room says...

... β€œI’m not saying a word without my lawyer present.”

"You are the lawyer." said the policeman.

"Exactly, so where’s my present?" replied the lawyer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/redditor10780
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2018
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A man in an interrogation room says β€œI’m not saying a word without my lawyer present.”

Cop: You are the lawyer.

Lawyer: Exactly, so where’s my present?

First saw it on badjokesbyjeff

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SapphicGarnet
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2018
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I was interrogated over the theft of a cheese toasty

Man, they really grilled me

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πŸ‘€︎ u/coolman965
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2020
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What is an Interrogative Word

just saying

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_BlNG_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2017
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