Interrogation Puns

The lawyer shrieks, "Exactly! So where’s my present?!"

You get your questions answered in one, and your answers questioned in the other.

The first guy answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"

The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture I showed is his side profile."

Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second guy and asks him, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"

The second guy smiles, flips his hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"

The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?!!? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?"

Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third guy and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?

He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me a stupid answer."

The third guy looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "The suspect wears contact lenses."

The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.

"Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that."

He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file on his computer and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.

"Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does, in fact, wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?"

"That's easy..." the third guy replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."

They asked me "are you more of a skirt or a handbag?"

I thought about it for a second and confidently chose handbag.

"So you admit it! You're an accessory!"

It said “Michelle”

They’re really sus-fish-ous

That way they're always gonna end up spilling the beans.

When asked who he thinks will give up the location stolen goods, he replys “Only Time will tell”

Thankfully he quacked under the pressure...

“I’m NUTELLAn ya nothin!!”

Lawyer : (whispering) Deny everything.

Me : This isn't a chair.

A spokesperson for the police said "Eventually he quacked under pressure".

man,they really grilled me.

And found him in a web of lies

I was fired for my intense interrogations.

"I'll never talk."

When in the interrogation room, he told my grandfather

"vee haf vays of making you tock!"

Because then you'd easily be lying all the time.

Are you gonna cracker what?

They break too easily.

"I was framed!"

I think I have something here, just need a little help with the ending. This is what I have so far.

In the interrogation room, Joe Ga pleaded with police to let him go. He explained the man they are really after is Joe Ka, who has been systematically committing crimes and calling out his own name in the process knowing how similar they sound.

"This is all just a setup, the real Joe Ka is..."

Ducks will always quack under interrogation.

The robber ducky

They always quack under interrogation.

So there was a murderer and his name was Ardy. His last name was too long and complicated and everyone knew him in town, so everyone called him "Ardy". One of his buddies asked him to kill this guy for $3000 and after Ardy did a bit of research, he realized he knew him and had a grudge against him for years. So Ardy told the guy: "I hate this guy so much, I'll kill him for free."

Ardy's buddy said "Are you sure? I gotta give you something!"

So Ardy said, "Ok ok. I'll do it for a dollar."

The next morning, the guy was at Meijer (A grocery store) and Ardy came up behind him and choked him with his scarf. When he was done killing him, there was a woman screaming at him to stop. So Ardy had to choke her with his scarf too. After that, he ran to his car and there was an old man watching him, so Ardy went over and choked him too. In the middle of killing the old man, the police pulled up and arrested Ardy. After a bit of interrogation, Ardy admitted to killing all of them, and especially the first guy for only a dollar.

The next morning, the headlines read:

Ardy Chokes 3 for a Dollar at Meijer

An interrogator

During interrogation the police ask,

"Why did you do it?"

"Well," he replied. "You are what you eat."

The policeman says “You are the lawyer!”

“Exactly, so where’s my present?” Replies the lawyer.

The lawyer shrieks, "Exactly! So where’s my present?!"

... “I’m not saying a word without my lawyer present.”

"You are the lawyer." said the policeman.

"Exactly, so where’s my present?" replied the lawyer.

Cop: You are the lawyer.

Lawyer: Exactly, so where’s my present?

First saw it on badjokesbyjeff

Man, they really grilled me

just saying