Make America Grate Again!
Because I have to preheat the oven
He wants to make America Grate Again.
That’s the start of the grate depression
I asked the nurse if they used a melonoma baller to remove it.
The itchy bitchy spider
❤❤❤ And you're priceless ❤❤❤
It's pointless.
It feels like ancient history.
He responded with, “It’s not walking away.”
One finally said, "I need some more space!"
Here: https://www.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/btsq5u/my_dad_will_be_telling_dad_jokes_till_the_end/
Well, I remembered something else he said once that I find hilarious (now) that you may also.
When I was a kid my chore was to do the dishes, by hand, after every meal bar holidays when I had help and the week of my birthday. One particular time, I must have been about 15 when I asked my Dad, Why don't we use the dishwasher, its easier and it's right next to me?
In the proud tradition of Dads before him he answered, We are using the dishwasher, now hurry up and quit complaining.
I laugh now in hindsight, and for some reason really enjoy doing dishes by hand.
By writing a RUFF draft
It feels like ancient history.
It felt like ancient history.
The other man replied “Your thyme has cum”.
It's all good, he eventually woke up.
So I came in my pants
...He's going to make America grate again.
A cantina.
Took my wife and 3yo to the big blue and yellow today. Pulling into the parking my kid says "Dad are we there yet?" and I said "Yup...<start waving> "Hi-kea"! And she laughed and my wife groaned. Then about an hour later we were driving out, car's quiet, kid is nodding off..and I just say really loud..."BYE-Kea!!!". More groans all around. So yeah, kind of a daily double.
Make America grate again.
You Face-book.
Dad Side note: What's a facebook? is it a face you can read? is it a book you can make eye contact with?
My son and I do a cooperative pre-k. There's a class of 8 kids and two parents rotate every 4 weeks to help. Yesterday was my day.
We're doing a craft with glue and my son got some glue on my shirt.
> Pre-K teacher: Oh look, nyran20 and his son are bonding!
She was saying all the nasty things she's gonna do to me, I'm doing likewise
Her: " I want you to lick me"
Me: "baby, are you from Australia?"
Her: "huh?"
Me: "cuz if you are I'm gonna lick you in your land down under"
We didn't have sex that night.
She's showing me this toy of Iago from Aladdin. he has a hole in the bottom of him so he sits on Jafar's shoulder. She said "Jafar has this thing on his shoulder so that Iago that can sit"
"So what you're saying is that Jafar' has a real chip on his shoulder"
She rolled her eyes at me and didn't respond. Which is a real accomplishment!
Edit: now she's mad at me, because I'm wrong. because it's "not a chip" Classic pre-teen
My parents were on one of their first dates back in the day driving down the highway. They passed a sign that said "Plant Entrance"
Dad - "But..where do the people go in?"
Mom still groans to this day when she tells it. She should've known she was doomed
Just happened. My wife and I were contemplating childbirth, and I acted out my part of it by clinging to her upper half and saying "I'm staying on this side - or maybe I'll look into the Eye of Vagauron (a poor wordplay on Eye of Sauron).
Wife: -silence-
Me: that was a stretch but I'm sticking to it
And that's when she bursts out laughing and I accidentally a pre-dad joke
Me- "Found the latus rectum" Dad- "Rectum? Damn near killed him"
He wants to make America grate again.
Because he wants to make America grate again
Make America grate again!
Make America grate again!
And Make America Grate Again
I guess he’s keeping to his promise of “Make America Grate Again!”
He said he wants to Make America Grate Again.
He wants to make America grate again.
He wants to Make America Grate Again
He wants to make america grate again.
To make america grate again!
Because he wants to make America grate again
