The Titanic II is a modern-day replica of the RMS Titanic and is scheduled to set sail in 2022. It's creators do not believe it will relive the tragedy of it's predecessor because

that was an ice-olated incident.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/wmd1234
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 05 2020
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How do you think the unthinkable?

You hit it with an itheberg.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/boj3143
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 12 2015
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Telluride, CO

Convo with my roommate a few minutes ago...

Me: Hey, want to get Curry n Kebab for lunch tomorrow?

RM: E's picking me up for Telluride at one tomorrow so I probably won't have time.

Me: Well you better Telluride that they gonn' have to wait for you to eat ya curry!

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bigreddmachine
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 21 2018
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Roommate just bought a new Dodge Dart.
  • RM: (phone dying) I left my charger at work.
  • Me: But you have a Dart.
  • RM: What does that have to do... GOD DAMMIT!!!!
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jbob5059
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 17 2014
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Dad joked my coworker today (maths teacher)

A coworker of mine was discussing an interesting problem that involved a complex graph. He showed me this graph on the computer but then I said I couldn't see it. He then said "Is this better?" to which I replied "Ahh...the plot thickens..." He walked away without saying a word

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Playstationed
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 02 2014
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The Periodic Table

http://i.imgur.com/wRmGoKc.gif

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dankap99
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 11 2014
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Dad Joked by my Roommate

So I was having a late dinner with my roommate on the last day of our reading break, and we ended up on the topic of historical literacy. This is what followed:

RM: "When was the Declaration of Independence signed?"

Me: "1776."

RM: "Yeah, but specifically what was it signed on?"

Me: "Uh, The Fourth of July?"

RM: "No, it was signed on paper."

Needless to say, I double-facepalmed and finished my shake with that weird feeling you get after such a joke.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/toastfan902
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 22 2014
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This one actually surprised me.

My roommate and I were discussing a job he had applied for at my dad's house.

RM: I hope they call me next week. Dad: Well, you know what to do if they don't call you. Me: Call them. Dad: Nope. Burn the building down.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Phib1618
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 23 2013
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My roommate and I dadjoked each other

Me: [uses hands to show approximate size of a liter]

RM: I find it easy to fathom a liter.

Me: Yeah, it's much easier to do that than to liter a fathom!

RM: Liter? I hardly know 'er!

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/djhk12
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 02 2014
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Dropped one on my roommate.

Walked in on my roommate (vegetarian) chopping carrots for dinner. Me: What are the carrots for? RM: Veggie-burger. Me: I thought you said they were only good for soup. RM: Let's not split hairs. Me: Why would you do that? I thought you were a vegetarian.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Preppy-Punk
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 21 2013
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