I invented a bouncing platform to help obese hobos lose weight.

I call it a Tramp o' Lean

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πŸ‘€︎ u/diceblue
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2021
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What social media platform do chickens enjoy?

faceBAWK

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πŸ‘€︎ u/freekingrobby
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2021
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why didn't the indie lake make a games platform

it was afraid of becoming steam

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crypt-lord
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
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What do you call a homeless streaming platform?

Hbo

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πŸ‘€︎ u/warmrhunder51
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2020
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If you grew cannabis on an off shore platform...

...would it be seaweed?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Keauxbi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2020
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The captain wanted all sailors of German descent to come out onto the top ship platform and line up...

It was all Hans on deck!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2020
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I'm trying to write an unoffical Harry Potter book about Platform 9 and 3/4

But I feel like I'm hitting a wall

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thesaurususaurus
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2019
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I tried making an anti social media platform.

But it never went anywhere.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spallboy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
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I'm campaigning to become a moderator of /r/dadjokes. This is the platform I'm running on.

http://imgur.com/szcPODP

πŸ‘︎ 477
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BiiVii
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2016
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What is Thanos's favorite social media platform?

Snapchat

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChefOfRamen
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2019
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The perfect social media platform for a so called "army of one"

I imagine he/she'd like to hang out in r/me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Warp_Scrambler_II
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2018
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Why is a social media platform like a bloody Pennywise?

Because it's a reddit

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πŸ‘€︎ u/samito14
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2018
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My friend in the train station: "If someone falls off the platform..."

"... and gets hit by a train, does it become a splatform?!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BopNiblets
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2017
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Found one of our own
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheIronPumpkin
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2021
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I just got fired, and as severance, my company gave me a bag of used coffee.

They said it was grounds for termination.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jvlpdillon
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2021
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Which digital payment system does the pope use?

Paypal

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hardlysure
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
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What was invented before mayonnaise?

Aprilonnaise.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/supergush
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
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Personal Update...

Can't share on a Public Platform.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/babar_s
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
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Facebook has over 2 billion users, That is as big as the whole of christianity, Forget that, it is bigger than hinduism and islam. Although facebook’s messenger is probably the worst.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/obaidraf
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2019
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Why did you guys join Reddit?

I Reddit was a good platform.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rmath12
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
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I went to a railway fancy dress party

Everyone was wearing platforms

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πŸ‘€︎ u/denandbil
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
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What do politicians wear to give their agenda speeches?

Platform shoes!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2019
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An engineering pun

If you’re doing dangerous work on a platform that’s held together by screwed in bolts, then your life is hanging by a thread.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EzClapBois
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2019
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The Train conductor at the station this morning was definitely a Dad...

So I was taking the train to work this morning, and I'm exchanging at a station. I walk up the stairs to the platform to get my second train which should lead me to work, and I notice a train leaving the platform. As anyone would do, I asked the conductor "is that Liverpool?" (referring to the train as my destination). He replied "No mate, that's a train". It wasn't the liverpool train and I wasn't late, but that sure made my day!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Throwaway00010110
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2015
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Depression in Mexico

There are been a sharp increase in depression in Mexico since Trump got into office on the platform of building a wall between the two countries.

Leading mental health experts have said that sadly many Mexicans will never get over it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/westerbypl
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2017
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Unpacking fiberglass steer

Workers at a new steakhouse discovered that removing fiberglass steer from their shipping platforms is an unpalatable job.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gone4011s
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2015
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Elevation

Here's the conversation:

Her - I failed one of my assignments.

Me - Shit, what was it?

Her - Just a project proposal, but I FAILED SOMETHING, I'VE NEVER FAILED ANYTHING?!?!

Me - Well, it should bring you down a peg. Humility, innit.

Her - No, I need constant elevation.

Me - Is that why you wear platform shoes?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/super_nat556
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2016
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