you would be an acute one
Come here often?
- If Covid-19 doesn't take you out, can I?
- Is that hand sanitizer in your pocket are you happy to be within 6 ft of me?
- Can't spell virus without U and I.
- Do you need toilet paper cuz I can be your Prince Charmin.
- I saw you checking me out from across the bar, stay there.
- Hey Baby! Can I ship you a drink?
- Can't spell quarantine without U R A Q T.
credit: some facebook post i saw.
but I'm not a shoplifter.
She's apparently not a Ford F-series fan.
Are you a dry indehiscent fruit?
Because you’re kind of nutty!
They did a crap job
"...excuse me miss, do you comb hair often?"
I'm just kidding. Don't pick up COVID-19 in line. It's dangerous, stay home people.
In the bed of the truck was a bunch of baby ducks. He passed a police officer, the officer fired up their blues and twos and pulled the man over.
The officer said, "Sir, you can't just be driving around with all these ducklings in your car. You must take them to the zoo immediately."
The following day the same man was driving the same truck with the same baby ducks in the bed, except this time, they were wearing sunglasses.
The same police officer saw, they pulled the man over again and said, "Look mate, I told you yesterday to take those ducks to the zoo."
The man said, "I did take them to the zoo. They loved it! We're going to the beach today!"
Fiat Fullback, Nissan Navara, Toyota Hilux, Volkswagen Amarok, Isuzu D Max, Ssangyong Musso
Pickup the pace.
".....cuz you got dat assssss, ma!"
I spit out my cornflakes and ironically was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe.
I think I'm a snowflake. Because I've fallen for you.
What’s your sine?
How does three trees and three dog turds add up to ten?
Tree and a turd, tree and and turd, tree and a turd.
girl feels shirt "whats that?"
......."boyfriend material"
http://imgur.com/UdWSQwO
Just don't use any of these pickup lines around your wives.
Hey baby, what's ursine?
It went off without a hitch.
you look out of this world, wanna go to launch sometime?
...with the caveat that they have to use the words "liver" and "cheese" in their pickup line.
The Russian walks up to her and proudly recites: "My liver aches for you like it does for vodka, and my heart is incomplete like gruyere cheese". Crickets. The girl is a bit confused but is impressed with the guy's large biceps and full beard.
The Brit walks over to her and stammers: "I will tease your fancy with a sliver of cheese and liver". Nonsensical, but his accent did the trick. The girl blushes slightly.
The Mexican guy sees his opportunity and loudly yells: "Liver alone! Cheese mine!"
Girl says to me: I just graduated from school and now I work for a nonprofit called "The Panther Club".
Me: in ten years will it be "The Cougar Club?"
Didn't work.
