Why are janitors the best getaway drivers?

They always make a clean getaway.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/they_be_cray_z
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2021
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What did the broccoli say to the cauliflower while making their getaway?

"Floret!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brixan1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
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Clean getaway
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iamemu
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2019
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The Getaway
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Iziahzay
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2019
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My wife asked if I was packed for our anniversary getaway.

I told her the luggage was ready but I’m still packing.

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2019
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Punguins #2 The Getaway

Here it is! My second Punguins comic. Be sure to leave some feedback!

Comic: http://penguinproductions.org/comics?id=2


Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/penguinproductionsapps/?fref=ts

Twitter: https://twitter.com/PenguinProdApps

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Drsmall
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2016
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Can't afford my daughter's college tuition so I'm planning a heist. My getaway driver is a best selling author.

He really knows how to book it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PaxPaw
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2018
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Why did the elephant make a terribly slow getaway driver?

His trunk was filled with water.

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2016
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Someone robbed a Windex factory the other night.

Police are looking into it, but it looks like the crooks made a clean getaway.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Naitraen
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
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Two guys broke into a medical cannabis dispensary and were later arrested.

They were definitely 'pot-ners in crime'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Escalade1414
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2020
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A thief has stolen all the hand sanitizer from the supermarket

he seems to have made a clean getaway

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πŸ‘€︎ u/td941
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
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Did you hear about the thief who stole a supply truck of disinfectant?

He made a clean getaway.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OmegaLiquidX
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2020
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Why did the thief take the soap?

So he can make a clean getaway.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GamerMaster978
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2020
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New Style of Burgular

Q: Why did the burglar take a bath?

A: He wanted to make a clean getaway

Boom Boom

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lostatsea12a
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
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A putter and a #4 iron rob a bank, who is waiting out in the car?

The getaway driver.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mind-the-fap
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2019
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Why did the burglar shower at his victim’s home

He wanted a clean getaway

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jusrile
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2019
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Why did the burglars steal soap?

They wanted a clean getaway.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Everenzi
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2019
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What did the carwash clerk say to the robber

Don't rob me I can give you a clean getaway

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AFluffyOverlord
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2019
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The story of Kenneth Lamar Noid

The following story is true.

Perhaps you have heard of The Noid. He was a character created by Domino's Pizza to act as a villain who would attempt to make your pizza taste crappy due to lack of freshness. Thankfully, according to Domino's, The Noid could easily be foiled by their 30 minute delivery guarantee.

On January 30, 1989, a man by the name of Kenneth Lamar Noid took the creation of the little guy as a personal attack on his character. Not one to take such a slight lying down, Mr. Noid took a Domino's location in Atlanta hostage, forcing them to make a special pizza and salad against their will. His demands included $100,000, getaway transportation, and a copy of the hit science fiction novel, "The Widow's Son".

Eventually, Mr. Noid surrendered to the police. After the incident, when reached for comment about Mr. Noid, Police Chief Reed Miller was quoted as saying, "He's paranoid."

Thank you for your time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/salty904
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2018
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Dad dropped a fucking brilliant one last night... needs some backstory

So my brother is a policeman and last night got a call about a stolen washing machine...

So he goes to it, ridiculous argument insues between the two parties then a slight wrestling match from my brother and the accuser and he gets nicked. So then my mum asks him

"What about the washing machine? Did the other man steal it?"

my dad replies instantly:

"It made a clean getaway"

I can't wait to have kids so my brain work the same way...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JungleOrAfk
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2016
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Why does Soap always get away with murder?

Because it knows how to make a clean getaway!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Twigsnapper
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2016
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I clean rental cars at the airport...

...so that tourists can have a clean getaway.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/seekunrustlement
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2013
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Honing My Craft

After getting back from a long weekend getaway, my wife was trying to get some ice out of the freezer, but it was all stuck together.

Her: Babe? Can you break up the ice?

Me (leaning my head into the freezer): So... what do you do for a living?

Her: What? ... Ohhhhh...

I grinned and self-high-fived.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/grousing_pheasant
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2014
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A Lysol factory was robbed last night.

I hear they made a clean getaway.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RAClef
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
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who steals soap?

a thief looking for a clean getaway

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PdawgUltimate
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2019
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