Gambling where the wager is a pepperoni slice

Playing with a pizza chit

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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I bribed my friends into helping me move by buying an extra large stuffed crust pepperoni...

I call it β€œinfluen-za.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dcrose89
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2020
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What did the pepperoni say to the pizza?

Nice to meat you?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jerojohe
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
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Why did the chef cover Pete with dough, sauce and pepperoni?

Because Pete’s a pan.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2019
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I burnt my pepperoni pizza today.

I could blame the oven but ultimately it’s salami.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stefanopolis
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2019
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What type of pizza has a single slice of pepperoni on the top of it?

Pepperlonely.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/itsthearistocrat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2018
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a blind man walks into a takeaway and asks the woman behind the counter "can i have a pepperoni pizza please"

the woman states "sir this is a library"

the blind man replies "oh sorry, ^(can i have a pepperoni pizza please) "

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pepsiofdeath
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2019
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What do you call a dad who eats a lot of pepperoni pizza?

A Papaeroni

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TripleBeam87
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2019
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I was eating in a restaurant with my wife. A guy walked by and accidentally dropped a small pepperoni on the floor

Now it's a pepperlonely

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wtfunchu
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2019
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Her: I’m at home. I just ate a pizza covered with pepperoni and onions.

Me: Couldn’t you have covered yourself with a blanket instead?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2018
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A pepperoni fell on my shoe.

I have a pep in my step now.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RPGamer954
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2018
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We followed my dad's death bed wish and buried him covered in baked flour, tomato sauce, mozzarella cheese and pepperoni...

R.I.P dad, Rest In Pizza.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2018
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I tried to buy a Pizza with Pepperoni

but they only accepted cash

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Twigsnapper
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2017
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Pepperoni at the dinner table

My dad just laid this one on me. Tonight for supper we had a pasta dish with mini pepperonis, cheese, sauce, etc. in it. Normally when my mom makes this she uses regular size pepperoni. I commented how much I liked the meal and she said "I don't know, I kinda like it better with the big pepperoni" to which my dad replies with "I like it better with the little pepperoni, but then again I'm not a big pepperoni fan." A universal sigh was heard around the table.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MidnightEagle11
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2016
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Plural of Pepe is Pepperoni...

As a matter of fact, i just joined this sub today! And a few minutes ago, my dad came with a dad joke... timing couldn't be better!

Background: Tomorrow i'm going to Italy on and exchange trip. The guy i'm going to live with is named Pepe. I explained to my dad that there is also this other Italian guy named Pepe, who one of my friends is going to stay with. And here comes the gold, my dad simply replied: "If they are together can you then call them Pepperoni?" And it get's even better! "Or maybe even better, you could call them Pepsi!"

I have to admit that the Pepsi one made me smile...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pellep
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2015
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Burnt my hawaiian pizza today...

Should have cooked it on aloha temperature.

EDIT: Thanks for the awards, y'all!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/user7618
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
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My wife says I change subjects too often when I'm talking to people.

I'm glad it rained today so I don't need to water the lawn. Anyone else feel like pizza for dinner?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/testmonkeyalpha
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
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Pizza is not only good with cheese,

But to top it all off you also need pepperoni

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2019
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Girlfriend got me good

She was lightly biting my finger after complaining she was hungry so I told her I wasn't a pizza. She replied: Are you sure because you're kinda cheesy..

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StertDassie
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2014
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It Was Cold at the High School Football Game

My aunt told my dad she had hot pockets in her gloves to keep her hands warm. My dad wittily replied, "Ooh I love Hot Pockets! What flavor do you have, pepperoni or sausage??"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CapnCrunchDaPimp
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2015
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Hot Dog Toppings

I was telling my Dad about a new hot dog stand in town and how they would put nacho cheese, pepperoni's, French's onion rings, etc. He said "I like tulips on mine." Confused I said "Tulips? What the hell?" and he pointed to his mouth and said "These two lips right here."

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2014
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"Make good choices boys"...my wife said to our son and his friends as they were leaving to get pizza...

...feeling it my duty to chime in, I added "Choose pepperoni"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fna1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2014
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My mom told a dad joke today.

(ordering pizza)

Me "Half pepperoni, half cheese"

Her "What side do you want the pepperoni on?"

Me "...."

I was speechless! Usually I'm on my comeback game when dealing with my dad, but this was totally unexpected.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChromaMean
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2013
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Got everyone at work including the customers

I work at a pizza shop and when orders are completed we yell the order so the customers can pick them up. An order came up with the name "Juan" so naturally I yelled out "I have Juan large pepperoni pizza for pick up. Any Juan here for that order?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheSlair
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2015
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