Outsider Puns

He had the morel high ground.

It's because this is my cup of tea.

K9P

Didn't surprise me, considering how cold tinnitus.

(I'll see myself out)

Kilometery Cyrus

I-C-Y people want to stay indoors, next to the fire

I’m starting my own hedge fund.

Try not to step in a poodle!

I told them, “I have my raisins.”

“Currently”

Whenever it faces outside it just glares.

And it's a bit chilly out.

I don’t know who made it or who put it there, but the craftsmanship is amazing.

Because it can get a little slippery out there.

I went out and saw the idiot; he was selling chairs.

K9P.

Half a watermelon

...their Endor pets.

Its a pretty good deal

I’ll see myself out

(credit: Groucho Marx)

I’d Pick Nick.

It got pretty heated.

I'm cloisterphobic

"...mountains peak!"

I texted "Oh Pun the Door"

Nature abhors a vacuum.

Fined dining.

I thought I'd just put the Fila's out there

Turns out he was full of shit.

I guess she is more of a house cat

They’re in tents

Because it's accrual world out there.

Now she barks out of both ends.

I Guess You Could Say I'm Under House Arrest.

Icy how it is...

Literature.

Me, to my two boys: "Hazel tried to escape, but I rescued her!...Or....should I say captured her?"

Boy 1: (pronunciation) "cap- CHURR!"

Boy 2: "Or... You CAT-tured her!"

Boy 1: "No, you CAT cat-ture Hazel!"

His name is Detail. Cuz I de-tailed him by accident.

The mailman responded with, "And a good afternoon to you, Femalewoman!"

But I’m pretty sure I’m still in the US

The Warden said "he's a little condescending"

The poster reads:

"Must be able to type. Must be able to program. And must be bilingual. We are an equal opportunity employer."

The dog takes the poster in his mouth, and walks in. The manager spots the dog, and decides to humour it, pulling up a chair and a computer with a word processor. "Alright, if you want to work here, you need to first write a letter," and leaves the room.

30 minutes later, he comes back in, and the dog has typed out a completely error-free letter.

"Well, I'll be. This is a smart dog. But can he program?" he asks himself.

20 minutes pass, and the dog has made a perfectly running website for the store.

He looks, shocked, at the dog, and finally speaks. "Look, I know you have the qualifications, but, well... you're a dog."

The dog nudges the words "We are an equal opportunity employer." on the poster, and the manager sighs.

"There's no way you're bilingual."

The dog looks him in the eyes, and says, "Meow."

So I went outside and threw it in the sewer

Guardian of the galaxy

K9P.

I almost stepped in a poodle.

You go outside and it is cold.

When you go outside and it’s cold.

K9-Pee