For a closet racist.
How der they?
It's Important.
I think they called it Allah carte
If they don't, after the 90 days they will finnish being Finnish
No idea why the school hired him.
We called him the international juul thief
They were maid for each other.
He’s an International Arms Dealer.
It’s a military coo.
Because they were designed for two wrists.
So I went to the drug store and bought him the best Axe Scent money can buy!
So the other day, me and a foreign dude I know went hunting in the woods (you know, since it’s such an classically American thing (I know)). Anyways, so while we’re there, we get attacked by a four armed bear. Luckily, we were able to kill it before it killed us. Then I realized how rare this was, so we decided to take a couple of arms each as a trophy. So I let him, the foreigner, have the left pair, while I, as an American, got the right two bear arms.
A diplomat.
Is just bazaar.
With Russian hands and Roman fingers.
I have a penpal from Spain I talk to a lot. Today we were chatting on Google Chat in English, and the topic of whether or not sea lions were dangerous came up.
Me: okay google says "sea lion saves man" has 976,000 results
Her: that man has sinked so many times
Edit: Bonus, she continued laughing at her own joke.
Her: hahahahaha
Her: i cant stop laughing
Her: it was so bad joke
Her: hahaha
Saw a girl, at the bar, told my friend "she's a nein." He told me to head to the eye doctor.
Her: "Urban Italy looks like a bad place to be with a rented car."
Me: "Yeah, I suppose there are some very old & busy cities there."
Her: "I don't know if I could do it. My Dad drove in Greece and that was bad enough."
Me: "Oof yeah, sounds sketchy. Though you'd think they'd have cleaned it up by now."
Her: ?
Me: "The grease."
...the Audi Partner.
*walking down the line asking everyone their name.
And whats you name?
"Lauda"
WHATS YOUR NAME?
Spy-ghetti
So my sister is a freshman at college and after a week my dad asks her how classes are going. She says all is ok except that her math professor is Russian and she can hardly understand him. My dad without missing a beat "He's Russian? well tell him to slow down then"....
Me: "Where even is Sociedad?" Dad: "I don't know son, I've never been to Socie" He was like http://i.imgur.com/EAf5il.png and I was like http://i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/312/563/05d.jpg and my mum was like http://media0.giphy.com/media/Rhhr8D5mKSX7O/giphy.gif
https://www.reddit.com/r/quityourbullshit/comments/5vemhh/texas_hunters_who_accidentally_shot_each_other/
This all happened in french so you none french speaking folk might not find this very funny. I saw /u/OHDEERGOAT post his Swedish dad joke and it reminded me of this. On a road trip a while back, I spotted some sort of bird of prey (means rapasse in french, which also sounds like repasse which means to return) so I tell my GrandPa about it. He says, "you know kid, bird of prey, ça passe et ça rapasse."
He's dead now, but we will all remember him for his sense of humour.
After eaten everything, the waitor comes to take the plates. Waitor: Are you finish? (As in done, typical bad english) Dad: Noo, We're Norwegian..
A phone conversation with father
Dad: Hey t_muld I haven't seen your friend Rachel lately.
Me: Yeah she's studying abroad.
Dad: Oh what's her name?
Me: (Long sigh)
Dad: t_muld are you there? I said what's her name?
You know what my favorite beer is?
The next one
