Can I express the right orientation?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/orlanthi
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2020
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New to reddit. How do I flip the orientation to where everything isn't upside down?
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2019
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It was super hot when I went to orientation in college

I gotta say, it was quite the warm welcoming

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Epicface227
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2018
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Amazing dad joke at university orientation

I'm running a booth at an orientation fair at a major university in the south. New out of state student and his dad come up and introduce themselves.

Me: "So, how did you end up in the south?"

Dad: "We drove."

Me: "No, I mean what brought you down here?"

Straight-faced dad: "The car."

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Maciej88
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2014
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What’s your sexual orientation if you loved mashed chickpeas?

A hummusexual

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πŸ‘€︎ u/abhijani97
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2018
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Explaining serial orientation to dad (not me)

http://m.imgur.com/KilTm4j

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Axodious
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2016
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I once signed up for an orientation course.

But I got lost on the way there.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2017
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If a business segregated people by sexual orientation, there would inevitably be a homo-side there.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mutant_Llama1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2016
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Double dad joked at orientation

So I was at orientation for my new job yesterday. There's 2 people there from the company, and 4 of us new people.

After the orientation is done...

Guy next to me: (silences phone because it's ringing) Sorry... my dad's calling me.

Guy from company: What's he calling you? Mine normally calls me my name.

Guy next to me: That's weird! I thought your name was Mike! Nice to meet you, my name!

Both of them both start to crack. I nearly snort what's left of my kit kat up my nose because I started laughing and the other 3 people there are shaking their heads slowly at us.

Side note: both of them are dads and in their 30's. I'm 21, and not a dad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quixotic_Ryan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2014
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Driving past a BI-Mart, my dad quickly chirped up by saying, "Huh, this grocery store has no sexual orientation."
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KingerBeady
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2016
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At job orientation: "Are there any minors here?"

"No, i think we're all cashiers here."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SultanRony
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2015
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What is the object oriented way to get wealthy?

Inheritance.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MjarjoSAC11
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
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I heard a rumour Cadbury have created a new oriental chocolate bar..

Could be a chinese Wispa

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eam2646
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2020
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My local oriental takeaway got closed down because they found canine meat.

Shame I thought it was the dogs bollocks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gunganfalacio
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
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What is a Rubix Cube’s favorite part of college?

Orientation

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πŸ‘€︎ u/masonprewett
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
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I’m writing a novel about a detail-oriented British pea farmer.

It’s called Mind Your Peas and Queues.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brainsonastick
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2020
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If you spin an Oriental person several times while bent down,

Will he / she be disoriented?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PinoyDadInOman
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2020
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My friend got a job in Seoul

Yeah, he's very Korea Oriented.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dwijaha
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2021
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Oh Dusty.
πŸ‘︎ 39k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/galacticgoosebump
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2019
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Did you hear about 50 Cent's clever new song about the small, detail-oriented urban cat?

They're calling it "Fiddy's witty itty bitty nitty gritty city kitty ditty".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rinteln
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2019
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The best oriental dad pun.

My dad was born in Japan. We're an average looking white family. My dad says he doesn't look Asian because when he crossed the ocean he became disoriented.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cooterholland
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2015
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My friend invited me to his house to see his new Oriental rug.

Turns out it was a toupee made in China.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2019
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KID : "DAD , make me a sandwich".

DAD : "poof , you are now a sandwich"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/unesb
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
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If you spin an Oriental guy around and round...

Would he become disoriented?

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2018
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I meant to go east

But I went west on occident

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WalterNewton
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
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I'm going to start a Hunter Thompson oriented accessory brand.

Gonna call it Gear and Clothing

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bigmattyc
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2019
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If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times,

does he become disoriented?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Too_MuchWhiskey
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2016
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So I signed up for an orienteering course in a Polish resort...

It was in a dense forest, and the instructor was waiting for me when I arrived. I pulled out my compass, but he laughed and shook his head. "That won't work here, you know," he said, pointing at my compass. "What do you mean?" I asked, "This is an orienteering course, isn't it?" "Ja, it is an orienteering course, but you can a compass not use." I was very puzzled at this point, and I questioned, "Why?" "There are too many Poles."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rockybond
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2017
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Why is Kim Jong-un's library so big ?

Because he is supreme reader

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2016
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Why was the programmer always running into walls?

He couldn’t see sharp.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GotMyOrangeCrush
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2019
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A conversation I just had with my dad about outdated terminology.

(Asian) Dad: -uses the term 'oriental' to describe Asian people-

Me: Dad, "Oriental" is too old-fashioned. You shouldn't use it nowadays because it confuses people.

Dad: Oh, okay. Would you say it...disorients them?

Me: ........

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sakikatana
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2016
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Some fights are illuminating
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πŸ‘€︎ u/confluencer
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2015
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Why did the C++ programmer do so well at his new job as a packaging and design engineer?

Because he was very good at orienting objects.

(Okay this is a really technical dad joke, but isn't that what they're supposed to be?)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jarvedttudd
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2018
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I was confused and lost at college, not knowing which building my classes were in. An Asian woman helped me find my way tho...

I was soon oriented.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
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What do bisexuals and iphones have in common?

Orientation lock

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Strikercharge
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2018
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He claims it was unintentional... but I laughed

Was working in the medical field today, helping a coworker put in 30ish individually wrapped syringes into a bag. They weren't put in the best orientation and required slight bit of pressure to close fully.

I told him to be careful even though there are caps on the syringes.

He responds: "I see your point."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kuebic
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2017
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I have to learn Mandarin at my new college.

As a part of my orientation programme.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Apostjustforthis
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2016
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Gender politics in the Home Depot garden section

So my parents bought a new house, and they are in the process of moving in.

He wants to get some greenery for the front yard, so we're at Home Depot.

He's looking at something, I don't know what, and he makes the comment, "this is almost the exact same thing that we have at the old house, and I love it."

I ask him, "why didn't you like my idea of transplants from the old one to the new house, then?"

Deadpan he replies, "Jay, you know I don't care about a plants sexual orientation or gender."

Seriously, my father, ladies and gentlemen.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mister_Jay_Peg
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2016
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Dadjoked my dad

A bit of back story is need: My dad has got a big need to put inedible things in our food for taste (not actually inedible, just taste awful) which is bad for me as I don't really want to pick through my food to find all of the inedible parts to ensure I don't have an awful taste in my mouth.

Anyway, my dad was cooking an oriental dish and called from the kitchen, "UpsideDownie, no cloves!" I called back "I'm not eating naked, that's weird."
I chuckled, he chuckled. And then later in the meal I had a mouthful of lime peel... He wins.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/upsidedownie
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2014
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A man registered for a woodworking class...

A man registered for a woodworking class at his local college. At the end of orientation day, he went up to his professor and nervously enquired whether they would be learning how to make chairs.

"But of course," exclaimed the instructor. "Why?"

"Oh well you see," the man exhaled, visibly relieved "I suffer from IBS and my doctor requested a stool sample."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thewilltosucceed
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2017
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Trash Talk

I'm at college orientation and a janitor knocked over a metal trash can which made a loud noise. A father walks into the room and said, "A lot of trash talking going on in here!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/forgetful_face
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2015
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So I was working in a group planning out a new C# application

I loudly proclaimed "I object."

Boss: To what? We barely started.

Me: Oh, I thought we were using object oriented programming.

Room: groans.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2017
🚨︎ report
I’m writing a novel about a detail-oriented British pea farmer.

It’s called Mind Your Peas and Queues.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brainsonastick
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2020
🚨︎ report

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