Orientation Course Puns

But I got lost on the way there.

It was in a dense forest, and the instructor was waiting for me when I arrived. I pulled out my compass, but he laughed and shook his head. "That won't work here, you know," he said, pointing at my compass. "What do you mean?" I asked, "This is an orienteering course, isn't it?" "Ja, it is an orienteering course, but you can a compass not use." I was very puzzled at this point, and I questioned, "Why?" "There are too many Poles."

A man registered for a woodworking class at his local college. At the end of orientation day, he went up to his professor and nervously enquired whether they would be learning how to make chairs.

"But of course," exclaimed the instructor. "Why?"

"Oh well you see," the man exhaled, visibly relieved "I suffer from IBS and my doctor requested a stool sample."

Mum was admiring this dress that she bought in Vanuatu and said "Hmm, I really like that dress. Should have bought two." So of course my pun orientated mind naturally said, "Well you should have got...Vanua-two!" She spent the next 5 minutes saying "HA. HA. HA."