A chameleon went to the doctor and said he was having trouble changing his colors. The doctor did some tests and called the chameleon. He informed the chameleon that unfortunately he was suffering from...
Istanbul kept changing its name over the course of history
We could say it wasn't Constantly Nople.
My wife was changing through channels on TV. She asked me if I skip, too.
I said, “No, running is faster.”
I'm changing my name to Kanye
Because all I do is West my time.
I was thinking of changing my major to Physics
Then I can go ahead and be a physician.
I've been changing pillowcases all day...
My wife is constantly changing her name, but gets mad at me when I call her the new name.
Sometimes it's hungry, sometimes it's tired, sometimes it's angry. Please help.
My wife dared doubt my craftsmanship when I was changing over the light switch.
Haha, she's in for a shock
I surprised my family today by changing careers to become a mirror cleaner.
It was something I could always see myself doing.
What happens when a relish confronts someone changing clothes?
A dressing addressing a dressing
My friend was changing a tire when he dropped the car on his foot.
Did you hear they are changing the spelling of Croatia to Crowatia?
Lots of people have been raven about it.
Canadian PM Justin Trudeau considers changing the name of a province
But the voters are having Nunavut
I heard that Marvel is now sponsoring Uncle Ben's rice and changing the picture to Peter Parker's uncle.
The new slogan is "With great power comes great rice possibilities."
What do you call a respectable color changing lizard?
I have a really dark joke about light waves changing speeds and direction!
I’m legally changing my last name to Osophy
I’m going to name my son Phil and from that point on everything I do will be for my son. That’s my Phil Osophy.
My friend became ineffective, unsuccessful and unpopular after changing his diet to nothing but legumes...
Who's climate and why's he changing?
Someone's really changing the game
I tried changing my password to "beef_stew"
But it wasn't acceptable. It wasn't stroganoff
I'm thinking of changing my name to Tailor
I think my wife is changing my son’s diaper too often.
The box says they are good for up to 14 pounds.
I got fired for changing the wood on my jobs counter
I was just trying to spruce up the mood
I took my 3 month old son into the baby changing rooms at a local supermarket.
There were no other babies there, so I decided to keep him
Life is about changing perspectives and priorities. Heck, I used to worry if one of my hairs was out of place, but now...
...I don't care if they both are!
What do you say when a chameleon has a difficult time changing colors?
I’ve been considering changing professions to become a hitman recently.
I hear they make a killing.
Changing a muffler isn’t easy without a lift
I'm changing my name to 'Benefits' on Facebook.
Next time someone adds me, It will say "you are now friends with Benefits."
If you see a chick changing out the locks or cleaning out the pool at an apartment complex, NEVER give her a joint.
Nobody like high maintenance women.
After changing my diet to bland foods and spending a lot more time walking (in the rain I might add), I’m down 50 pounds.
That will be the last time I visit London.
What did the stoplight say to the car... don’t look I’m changing.
My wife got mad at me today for not changing a poopy diaper.
I told her, "the box says good for 15-18 lbs! there isn't even 1 lb of poop in there now."
When she needs changing, our baby gets weirdly angry when I try to take her clothes off.
I'm changing the color of my hair,
it's gonna be to Dye for.
What's worse than changing the punchline of a joke?
Every time my wife comes back from the baby changing station,
Me: Whew! I thought you are going to come back with a different baby.
Life is about changing perspectives and priorities, for instance, I used to worry if one of my hairs was out of place, but now...
...I don't care if they both are.
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