Nah seems OAK-kay
π︎ 366
π
︎ May 20 2021
Olives? Nah...
π︎ 5
π
︎ May 19 2021
nah, dont bother. you wont get it, it's an inside joke.
π︎ 30
π
︎ Nov 13 2020
This pretty much sums of every applicant weβve seen at the shop....Nah, hostess
π︎ 41
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︎ Aug 29 2020
Nah mate
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Jan 20 2018
Painting? Nah, wallpaper saves time.
π︎ 23
π
︎ Nov 18 2018
NaH Dude
π︎ 17
π
︎ Mar 27 2019
Two doctors are out hiking and the first one trips and cuts his knee pretty badly on a rock. The second doctor says, "That looks pretty bad. Want me to stitch that up for you?" The first doctor says, "Nah, I got it."
The second doctor responds, "Suture self."
π︎ 8
π
︎ May 24 2019
Nah!! not a huge fan
π︎ 7
π
︎ Nov 12 2018
Idaho? Nah udahoe
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jun 12 2018
Nah yeah
Can someone tell me the name of the 80s sitcom set in a bar with Ted Danson, cheers
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 01 2018
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jun 01 2018
What is the fastest growing city in the world?
Capital of Ireland
It's Dublin everyday
π︎ 9k
π
︎ May 16 2021
Guys, today was my first day in the navy and I felt so lost!
π︎ 10k
π
︎ May 05 2021
I went to the beekeeper to get a dozen bees. When he gave me the bag, I counted 13, so I said βoops, you gave me an extra-β
He said βNah, thatβs a freebieβ
π︎ 227
π
︎ May 05 2021
I don't mean to brag, but I have sychic powers.
For example, I know what all you are thinking right now. "It's spelt psychic, you idiot. "
π︎ 183
π
︎ May 02 2021
Stopped in the local cemetery on my walk
The groundsman said "Morning"
I said "Nah, I'm just having a piss"
π︎ 24
π
︎ May 24 2021
'My wife is on a plane to Illinois.'
'Chicago?'
'Nah, she passenger.'
π︎ 63
π
︎ May 07 2021
What keeps the ocean from leaking out?
π︎ 254
π
︎ Apr 27 2021
I'm a 40 year old woman who delivers babies for a living and I just bought a brand new Corvette...
Everyone thinks I'm have a Midwife crisis.
π︎ 32
π
︎ May 20 2021
Why don't giraffes play basketball at the zoo?
π︎ 24
π
︎ May 19 2021
Handle With Care
π︎ 49
π
︎ Apr 24 2021
A group of geese is a gaggle, agroup of rats: a mischief, a murder of crows, bats a colony and men a crowd. What's a group of batmen?
π︎ 148
π
︎ Apr 11 2021
A duck walks into a drugstore to pick up a prescription. The pharmacist asks him,
"Cash or charge?"
The duck replies, "Nah....Just put it on my bill!"
π︎ 35
π
︎ Apr 02 2021
Do you think jugglers who live in houses with low ceilings...
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 13 2021
History. History.
Did I just rewrite history? Or did history repeat itself?
π︎ 2
π
︎ May 19 2021
Today, I said a bad word.
A woman said: did you just sin?
I said: nah I cosine.
π︎ 4
π
︎ May 20 2021
A tricycle says to a bicycle
Tricycle " I'm too tired".
Bicycle " nah I'm two tired, but at least you tried"
(Dunno if it's a repost but my 6yo son told me this last night)
π︎ 12
π
︎ May 03 2021
A local themed Grandad joke from the northeast of England: If you walk to Walker and bike to Byker, what do you do at Wallsend?
π︎ 12
π
︎ May 08 2021
What's a pirate's favorite letter?
One from their family.
Pirates are people too!
π︎ 18
π
︎ Mar 30 2021
Did you hear the joke about turds?
Nah I wonβt tell you, itβs shit.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Apr 27 2021
"My wife's going to a nice place in the Caribbean." "Cool. Jamaica?"
Nah. She made the decision on her own.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Apr 30 2021
Should I worry about those ice cubes I dropped?
Nah, itβs just water under the fridge.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Mar 05 2021
How mouse greets?
Itβs βmiceβ too meet ya
π︎ 6
π
︎ Mar 20 2021
I had a friend who smoked weed on Mount Everest.
He told me he was really high.
π︎ 113
π
︎ Jan 31 2021
How did the detective describe the mysterious package he received?
He said it was an open and shut case.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Apr 20 2021
What do fat people die of?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Apr 12 2021
What did Snoop Dogg say when asked to leave a yoga class?
π︎ 31
π
︎ Feb 23 2021
Someone once asked me if I was 'getting jiggy with it'.
I furiously shook my head and said "Nah... nah... nah nah nah.. nah-nah-nah. Nah nah.. nah nah-nah nah."
π︎ 7
π
︎ Apr 01 2021
I misplaced my pizza cutter, so I used my Bryan Adams CD.
π︎ 288
π
︎ Dec 19 2020
Just read an interesting fact - Bruce Lee had a vegan brother;
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Jun 27 2020
A man is walking down the street
when he notices a hot, busty woman on the sidewalk. He approaches her and says, "I'll give you a thousand dollars if you let me bite your nipples." Naturally the woman was reluctant, but concluding that she really needed the money, she agreed. So they go into an alley, she lifts up her shirt and unhooks her bra. He proceeds to bury his face in her breasts, moving and shaking his head. After a full minute of this, she says, "Well? Aren't you going to bite them?" He walks away, saying, "Nah... that's too expensive."
π︎ 5
π
︎ Feb 28 2021
My son asked me if I knew any good chemistry jokes as he'd just had his first chemistry class. I thought about telling him one about alkalinity...
But then I thought; 'Nah, too basic...'
π︎ 40
π
︎ Jan 07 2021
What are the strongest days of the week?
Saturday and Sunday.
The rest are weak days..
π︎ 12
π
︎ Feb 24 2021
What do you call a corpse on a boat?
π︎ 28
π
︎ Jan 10 2021
Two wind turbines are standing in a field and one asks the other βwhat kind of music do you like?β
The other replies βWell, Iβm a big metal fan.β
π︎ 10
π
︎ Feb 12 2021
Pessimist....Things can't get any worse.
Optimist.....Nah!! Of course they can.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Jan 05 2021
When a Jehovah's Witness dies....
Does Heaven turn out the lights and pretends nobody's home ?
π︎ 21
π
︎ Jan 04 2021
2 blondes talking....
1st blonde: "I'm going to be the first woman to land on the Sun."
2nd blonde: "Don't be stupid, you'll burn."
1st blonde: "Nah!! I've got a plan. I'm going at night."
π︎ 15
π
︎ Jan 24 2021
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