Physicists are playing hide and seek in the afterlife. It's Einstein turn to seek. He counts to 100, turns around and notices Newton in a 1m*1m square. Hah, Newton, I found you!
See Einstein, the problem here is that you discovered Pascal!
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︎ Feb 26 2021
Weekdays. Get it? HAH
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︎ Jan 12 2019
HaH I sEe YOu CamE bACk
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︎ Nov 09 2019
Hah hah hah hah...
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︎ Apr 16 2019
Hah
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︎ Mar 19 2019
Hah
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︎ Apr 26 2019
Hah, rejected by your mom
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︎ Feb 13 2019
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︎ Oct 30 2016
Homegrown dad joke
I was driving from Tennessee to North Carolina the other day and right after I crossed over the Eastern Continental Divide, there was some road construction. A sign there said, "Fines Higher" and I thought to myself, "Huh. Probably because of the elevation."
Then I was disappointed because I was by myself and there was nobody there to tell.
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︎ Apr 11 2021
Hector Salamanca?
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︎ Mar 14 2021
Tap on the screen
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︎ Nov 19 2020
Why do chicken coops only have 2 doors?
Because if they had 4, they'd be called chicken sedans.
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︎ Nov 30 2020
I always knock on the door of the fridge before opening it.
Just in case there's a salad dressing.
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︎ Jan 27 2021
A mule is just a half-assed horse
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︎ Jan 20 2021
A lot of people accuse me of plagiarism.
But those are their words, not mine.
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︎ Nov 13 2020
Fun fact: Australia's biggest export is boomerangs.
It's also their biggest import.
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︎ Oct 13 2020
What did the trans man say after his masectomy?
βIβm glad that I got that off my chest.β
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︎ Jan 09 2021
Did you hear the one about the guy who lost his hearing aids?
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︎ Nov 30 2020
What do you call a porta-potty thatβs bigger on the inside?
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︎ Dec 11 2020
Today I saw a dwarf climbing down a prison wall.
I thought to myself, βThatβs a little condescending.β
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︎ Aug 05 2020
Texas Prisoner Found Dead After Consuming Smuggled Fish Eggs
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︎ Dec 15 2020
Why am I the only one naked?
They said it was a gender reveal party?
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︎ Oct 30 2020
Someone complimented me today by calling me a windmill
Honestly I'm not a big fan of that
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︎ Dec 08 2020
Spotty reception
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︎ Jan 02 2020
I named my phone "The Titanic"
Now, every time I plug it into my computer it says: βThe Titanic is syncingβ
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︎ Oct 14 2020
How did the poster get hurt?
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︎ Oct 11 2020
An untalented gymast walks into a bar.
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︎ Aug 05 2020
Where do lizards go when their tails come off?
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︎ Oct 12 2020
Do you know how I call my hoodie?
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︎ Nov 16 2020
I always know when my Indian flat bread is ready without looking.
Guess I'm a Naan prophet.
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︎ Nov 19 2020
reddit
guys
GUYS
GUYS
I HAVE A REALIZATION
Reddit.
*inhales*
^(IT'S BECAUSE YOU)
READ IT
THIS ENTIRE WEBSITE IS A PUN
HOW BLIND WE ARE
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︎ Aug 05 2020
Why did the anvil get sent to AA?
He was always getting hammered
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︎ Sep 03 2020
Which cafΓ© chain plays great music?
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︎ Oct 14 2020
Yesterday, someone asked me to make a joke about Canada
Iβm sorry, I canβt think of anything
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︎ Jul 20 2020
Hereβs a Spanish joke: Did you hear that Mexicans created a machine that dispenses fish?
They call it a pez dispenser
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︎ Sep 25 2020
I believe electricians are really clever thinkers.
They often have lightbulb moments.
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︎ Jul 23 2020
Rachel McAdams' height is 5'4, which is the average height of an american female.
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︎ Jan 16 2020
Nascar pit crews have one very solid benefit
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︎ Aug 05 2020
Does this belong here?
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︎ Aug 25 2018
What do you call a duck on ecstasy
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︎ Jan 23 2020
I had a crazy dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram.
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︎ Nov 23 2019
How do you fool an idiot into expecting something funny?
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︎ Oct 03 2019
Butt encouragement puns!
Hey guys! I need combinations of words for ass and words that mean something in the realm of βmaking someone happyβ
Context: a friend of mine and I send each other selfies on the toilet and sheβs having a shitty day (hah) so I bent over the toilet and stuck my ass in the air and took a picture like my ass was taking a selfie and now I need something punny yet encouraging to say
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︎ Sep 17 2020
You got to hand it to short people
They probably can't reach it anyways
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︎ Oct 08 2019
I made the mistake of telling my suitcase that we wonβt be going anywhere this year because of the pandemic.
Iβm having to put up with a lot of emotional baggage ever since.
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︎ May 07 2020
I need help with my sewing
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︎ Aug 23 2019
Why is your nose in the middle of your face?
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︎ May 15 2020
What did the Tree say in Math Class?
Geometry (Gee-Iβm-A-Tree)
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︎ Jan 07 2020
Never let anyone tell you what you can or cannot do.. just look at Beethoven. Everyone told him he would never be a musician because he was deaf.
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︎ Apr 27 2020
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