๐︎ 5
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︎ Apr 25 2019
My English book has puns. Wow.
๐︎ 2k
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︎ Oct 29 2018
My yogurt has puns.
๐︎ 25
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︎ Dec 17 2017
The school phoned me today and said, "Your son's has been telling lies. "
I replied, "Tell him, he's bloody good. I don't have any kids."
๐︎ 11k
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︎ Feb 01 2021
Is everyone here as tired as I am of the quiet Hawaiian a low ha joke?
If only that joke wasn't aloud.
๐︎ 13
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︎ Jan 14 2021
While at a restaurant, the waitress was totally flirting with me with my wife present. After she walked away, my wife said โShe obviously has COVID!โ โWhy would you think that?โ I asked.
โBecause she has no taste.โ
๐︎ 12k
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︎ Jan 13 2021
Finally my winter fat has gone...
Now, I have spring rolls.
๐︎ 10k
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︎ Jan 24 2021
Ha ha forgot to crop
๐︎ 51
๐
︎ Nov 24 2020
The inventor of the Velcro has died.
๐︎ 476
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︎ Feb 03 2021
Even crime has time for puns (credit to the author, extrafabulouscomics)
๐︎ 7k
๐
︎ Dec 24 2020
My calculator only has enough power left to do one calculation
I really have to make it count
๐︎ 4k
๐
︎ Jan 01 2021
My boss just told me that Iโm the worst mailman he has ever seen.
Shit..l meant to post this somewhere else.
๐︎ 13k
๐
︎ Dec 14 2020
Fun fact: Every dictionary has at least 1 mistake in it!
In the M section, right after mist.
Thanks HAI
๐︎ 221
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︎ Feb 01 2021
Funny how in the past everyone owned horses and only the rich owned cars, and now everyone has cars and only the rich have horses...
My how the stables have turned.
Edit: Wow guys, thanks for all the love!
๐︎ 17k
๐
︎ Nov 11 2020
When my wife caught me standing on the bathroom scales, sucking in my stomach, she laughed, โHa! Thatโs not going to help!โ
โSure, it does.โ I said. โItโs the only way I can see the numbers.โ
๐︎ 14k
๐
︎ Apr 06 2020
My mate has just seen the Chernobyl documentary...
He actually grew up in Ukraine in the 1980โs and was able to count at least 8 historical inaccuracies on one hand.
๐︎ 482
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︎ Jan 21 2021
Interesting fact, Bruce Lee has a vegan brother
๐︎ 223
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︎ Jan 17 2021
He has got a point
๐︎ 4k
๐
︎ Nov 23 2020
What Rock Group has four men that don't sing?
๐︎ 76
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︎ Feb 02 2021
The Covid19 situation has been particularly stressful for the Flat Earth Society.
They fear social distancing measures will push someone over the edge.
๐︎ 291
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︎ Jan 10 2021
Because of his enormous debt, Old McDonald has to sell his farm.
To cover what he e-i-e-i owes.
๐︎ 443
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︎ Jan 05 2021
Ha ha ha
๐︎ 212
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︎ Jun 23 2020
Gravity Falls has the best puns
๐︎ 3k
๐
︎ Nov 09 2020
Downloaded film Titanic for the family to watch this evening. Annoyingly Video and Sound has come across in separate files.
๐︎ 34
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︎ Jan 29 2021
Elton John has bought his pet rabbit a treadmill
Itโs a little fit bunny
๐︎ 62
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︎ Jan 19 2021
If your dog shakes hands with your enemy, has he committed a foe paw?
๐︎ 16
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︎ Feb 02 2021
William Shatner has discontinued his line of ladies lingerie.
Apparently Shatner panties was a poor choice of name.
๐︎ 15k
๐
︎ Oct 13 2020
Have you heard, the sequel to 2020 has has been postponed?
2022 wonโt be arriving for at least a year.
๐︎ 280
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︎ Dec 28 2020
You are lost in winter but find a cabin. You find it has a fireplace, a kerosene lamp and a stove, but you only have one match. What item in the cabin do you light first?
๐︎ 32
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︎ Jan 24 2021
Rumor has it that Iโve been sentenced to the gallows.
Please collect me if Iโm wrung.
๐︎ 3
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︎ Jan 29 2021
John Bon Jovi has started an extremely strict fruit only diet...
๐︎ 147
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︎ Jan 10 2021
A man has been found guilty of using too many commas.
The judge told him to expect a long sentence.
๐︎ 90
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︎ Jan 25 2021
Which animal has the biggest breasts
๐︎ 10k
๐
︎ Sep 28 2020
What's green, has 4 legs, and could kill you if it fell out of a tree?
๐︎ 235
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︎ Dec 20 2020
Little Johnny has diarrhoea and asks his mom, "Hey mom, do you have Viagra?" The mom goes, "What? What on Earth do you need that for?" "Well, isn't that what you give dad when his shit doesn't get hard?"
๐︎ 5
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︎ Jan 23 2021
The flat earth society has members all around the globe.
๐︎ 7
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︎ Feb 01 2021
Did you know Hannibal Lecter has a brother whoโs even more evil and sadistic?
His name is Bilka... Bilka Lecter.
๐︎ 58
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︎ Jan 17 2021
A man has been stealing wheels of police cars.
The police is working tirelessly to catch him.
๐︎ 280
๐
︎ Dec 24 2020
What begins with a P, ends with an E and has a million letters in it
๐︎ 36
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︎ Jan 09 2021
The owner of the Indianpolis Colts will be in trouble if he has to speak in court, because no matter what he says the judge will think...
๐︎ 6
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︎ Jan 28 2021
Ha ha
๐︎ 3k
๐
︎ Nov 17 2019
From my 10-year-old: "Daddy, what has it's bottom at the top?"
"I don't know, bud, what?"
"Your legs."
Well done, kid.
๐︎ 15k
๐
︎ Oct 01 2020
Whatsapp has changed its feature previously known as โmarked as readโ
๐︎ 16
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︎ Jan 13 2021
What part of the hospital has the least privacy?
๐︎ 682
๐
︎ Nov 28 2020
What has five toes but isn't your foot?
My foot.
Edit: Thanks a lot guys for the awards and upvotes. ;) :)
๐︎ 20k
๐
︎ Sep 03 2020
What do you call it when someone bellow the age of 18 has a problem
๐︎ 80
๐
︎ Dec 29 2020
Did you know Bruce Lee has a vegan brother?
๐︎ 59
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︎ Jan 12 2021
Breaking news: Elton John has bought a treadmill for his pet rabbit.
โItโs a little fit bunny.โ
๐︎ 24
๐
︎ Feb 01 2021
A man has been stealing wheels off police cars
The police are working tirelessly to catch him
๐︎ 77
๐
︎ Jan 19 2021
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