In honor of Ludwig von Beethoven's 250th birthday ...
What is Beethoven doing to celebrate his 250th birthday?
He's decomposing!
Technically you're always right.
http://imgur.com/a/1qKYz
"... Happy birthday, dear Menu"
points to "Jan 2014" printed on the base of the menu
"Happy birthday to you"
He thought it was a Tolkien gesture.
Only people whose birthday it is.
So have a happy birthday, for Pete's sake.
Birthday card from my dad.
Happy Birthday from Columbus. Cathy (my mom) made you cookies. I ate them for you. Think of it as a slimming birthday present from your waist line to my belly! Your welcome! Happy 21st.
even the cake was in tiers.
Edit: Thank you so much guys! I never expected this to reach 10k upvotes! You guys truly made my day.
Getting karma should be easy as cake
Edit: Itβs a giant cake day celebration! Happy cake day everyone!!
Unique up on it.
How do you catch a tame bird?
Tame way, unique up on it.
(This was actually my Dad's favorite Dad joke. Happy Birthday, Dad!)
Y'know, one would have been enough.
Without friends, nobody tells you happy birthday...
Without birthdays, you're not getting older!
Ba-dum-tss
- Yes, I'm born on Earth Day
I donβt know how they can sleep at night.
Happy birthday to ewe
....thank you for the dad jokes. They may not all make us die laughing and some we've heard you tell a million times over, but the one thing they have in common is that they're told in kindness and they put a little smile on our faces. And living in this crazy world, that's a very good thing. I love you dad.
As my son have me my 50th birthday card, I said " You know, i would have been happy with one"
πππ π€£ππ
Because he knew the octopus was well-armed.
I know this is not normal, but can you guys make a pun from the name Kasper? Itβs for his birthday
I understand if this post gets removed
Edit: english pronunciation
What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.
I would avoid the sushi if I was you. Itβs a little fishy.
Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind itβs tearable.
Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.
What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.
How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.
I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.
Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.
I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.
My cat was just sick on the carpet, I donβt think itβs feline well.
Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.
How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.
What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.
Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.
Thereβs a new type of broom out, itβs sweeping the nation.
What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.
What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.
Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.
Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.
How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.
The shovel was a ground breaking invention.
A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."
Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.
What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.
I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.
What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.
I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.
Towels canβt tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.
Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"
Do you know sign language? You should learn it, itβs pretty handy.
What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.
Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.
A cross eyed teacher couldnβt control his pupils.
After the accident, the juggler didn
... keep reading on reddit β‘Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday dear...
Edit: Wow. Wasn't expecting over 1,000 upvotes on my first ever post. Thanks!
My dad is in a care center with Parkinsonβs with dementia. He will be 75 on 3/28. He canβt have his party with the virus around and always needs something to occupy him so I thought birthday cards of dad jokes would keep him busy and make him happy. He was always a master of them. Thank you π
Ray Heng Terrace Glen room 184 3400 Alburnett Rd Marion IA 52302
Because it's March Forth!
In my birthday card my dad wrote, "It seems like only a year ago we celebrated your 17th birthday"
I always wish people happy birthday with a pun. For example, "have a SARAHmazing birthday!" However, now I need a birthday pun based off the name "Louise." I have been pondering this for days, and I simply can't think of anything. I wish I could give you her last name to help with the punning process, but that would obviously not be a good idea
Or alternatively a happy birthday manatee pun? Anyone?
Edit: pic here http://imgur.com/BPGZ47F
Man: you are doing great honey, just a little bit longer. Doctor: ok one more big push, ready push push push push. Woman: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAA EEEEE! (SLAP) Baby: waaa! Mom: hu huh whew Dad: Happy birthday son
Mom's Text to Dad - "My phone says it will be 95 on Saturday. I don't know what to do."
...
Dad's Reply - "Wish it a Happy Birthday."
http://i.imgur.com/1Fm2ojr.jpg
Cake day is such an emotional day. I am in tiers...
βOne would have been enough.β
Everyone stood around and sang Happy Birthday.
So I called her to wish her happy birthday
Yesterday was my dad's birthday, and he turned 52. I called him to wish him a happy birthday, find out what he wanted to do for dinner, etc, all the stuff you do on someone's birthday.
Then I said, "You're only ten years away from your one-minute birthday!"
He seemed confused so I had to clarify... "You know, your... Sixty-Second birthday!"
I could hear the cringe through the phone, and I heard my fiancΓ©e groan from downstairs.
Now I just have to hope he forgets over the next ten years so I can make this joke again.
Dad: happy birthday to me
Hello people of reddit i need a huge favor my friend's birthday is coming soon and i need to tell her happy birthday include a pun with her name. So if any of you got a pun it will be awesome.
Her name is Valerie
Sorry for the bad english not my first language
Hey man! Happy 30th birthday..about time!
I know! Took me 30 years to get here!
...
