What did children used to celebrate on their date of birth when Industrial Revolution took place?

Labor Day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/valjayson3
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2018
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I found the perfect password solution

I use the date of birth of a person I know. For example from Margarete von Henneberg. Nobody knows her. So how should someone get my password 1234?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pol_Ice
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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Mental health hotline.

Hello, welcome to the mental health hotline.

If you have obsessive compulsive disorder, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personality syndrome, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

If you suffer from paranoid schizophrenia, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mothership.

If you are hearing voices, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which button you press. No one will answer anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 96969696969696.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound button until a representative comes on the line.

If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's and grandmother's maiden names.

If you have post traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 911.

If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep. Or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short term memory loss, please try you call again in a few minutes.

If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our representatives are busy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2020
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Puns for Kids

The funniest and shortest puns for kids, you always remember while teaching children puns, try to choose the short ones because they are easy for them to remember and register.

Puns for Kids

Why are teddy bears never hungry? They are always stuffed!


What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie? A pie-thon!


Where do polar bears vote? The North Poll.


What did the judge say when the skunk walked into the court room? Odor in the court!


Two silkworms had a race. They ended up in a tie.


Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.


The streets in the capital of Afghanistan are paved with Kabulstones.


How does a lion greet the other animals in the field? Pleased to eat you.


What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn? An egg roll!


No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationery.


Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken!


What musical is about a train conductor? β€œMy Fare, Lady”.


A man drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.


What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.


What animals are on legal documents? Seals!


Why did the lion spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny!


Why did the bumble bee leave the house? It heard the school was having a spelling bee.


Being struck by lightning is really a shocking experience!


How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans!


Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!


Dockyard: A physician’s garden.


What did the angry mother say to the boiling pot of spaghetti? Simmer down!


The lights were too bright at the Chinese restaurant so the manager decided to dim sum.


β€œWhat’s purple and 5000 miles long?” β€œOoh! I know! The Grape Wall of China!”


Every calendar’s days are numbered.


This duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. β€œFour bucks,” says the bartender. β€œPut it on my bill.”


I used to be twins. My mother has a picture of me when I was two.


What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? Ouch!


When does a well-dressed lion look like a weed? When he’s a dandelion (dandy lion).


Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a-salted.


A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2017
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My 90 year old grandfather dropped this one recently

He had been taken to the hospital for a routine check up after suffering a fall/stroke/something along those lines, and was being asked a series of simple questions (Name, age, date of birth) and all went well until they asked him "What sort of building are your in?" expecting him to say "hospital." His response? "Brick"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrTankins
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2016
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I just dad joked the on-call nurse

I had to call the doctor's office about a new medication she put me on, when the nurse answers the phone

Me: Hi, my name is *** I'm calling for Dr ***. She just put me on this new medicine and I'm supposed to call in and let her know how everything is going

Nurse: ok, hun. I have to look you up in the system. What's your date of birth?

Me: April 7th

Nurse: What year?

Me: every year...

Nurse sigh ... what year were you born, sir?

Me: chuckle

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πŸ‘€︎ u/King_Groovy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2015
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My 12 year old daughter started a dad joke chain, and I finished it.

Background: I have the names and birth dates of each of my two daughters on my calves. 12 year old on the right, 8 year old in the left.

Today, my eldest was looking at my tats and said to the babysitter, "Well, I guess I'm 'all right' with dad!".

The baby sitter said something to the effect of, "That's silly."

So I looked at my daughter, winked and said to the babysitter, "Well, she is right."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fitzlurker
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2015
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I asked my Dad to fill out a form for a new birth certificate

He goes to fill out my birth date "5th of the 4th ... 1889!"

Me: What? Wouldn't that make me ... 125?

Dad: You look really good for 125!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/spambat
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2015
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