In honor of Ludwig von Beethoven's 250th birthday ...
What is Beethoven doing to celebrate his 250th birthday?
He's decomposing!
Technically you're always right.
http://imgur.com/a/1qKYz
"... Happy birthday, dear Menu"
points to "Jan 2014" printed on the base of the menu
"Happy birthday to you"
He thought it was a Tolkien gesture.
Only people whose birthday it is.
So have a happy birthday, for Pete's sake.
Birthday card from my dad.
Happy Birthday from Columbus. Cathy (my mom) made you cookies. I ate them for you. Think of it as a slimming birthday present from your waist line to my belly! Your welcome! Happy 21st.
even the cake was in tiers.
Edit: Thank you so much guys! I never expected this to reach 10k upvotes! You guys truly made my day.
Getting karma should be easy as cake
Edit: Itβs a giant cake day celebration! Happy cake day everyone!!
Without friends, nobody tells you happy birthday...
Without birthdays, you're not getting older!
Y'know, one would have been enough.
Happy birthday to ewe
As my son have me my 50th birthday card, I said " You know, i would have been happy with one"
πππ π€£ππ
Ba-dum-tss
- Yes, I'm born on Earth Day
I donβt know how they can sleep at night.
....thank you for the dad jokes. They may not all make us die laughing and some we've heard you tell a million times over, but the one thing they have in common is that they're told in kindness and they put a little smile on our faces. And living in this crazy world, that's a very good thing. I love you dad.
Because he knew the octopus was well-armed.
My dad is in a care center with Parkinsonβs with dementia. He will be 75 on 3/28. He canβt have his party with the virus around and always needs something to occupy him so I thought birthday cards of dad jokes would keep him busy and make him happy. He was always a master of them. Thank you π
Ray Heng Terrace Glen room 184 3400 Alburnett Rd Marion IA 52302
What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.
I would avoid the sushi if I was you. Itβs a little fishy.
Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind itβs tearable.
Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.
What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.
How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.
I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.
Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.
I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.
My cat was just sick on the carpet, I donβt think itβs feline well.
Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.
How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.
What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.
Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.
Thereβs a new type of broom out, itβs sweeping the nation.
What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.
What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.
Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.
Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.
How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.
The shovel was a ground breaking invention.
A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."
Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.
What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.
I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.
What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.
I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.
Towels canβt tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.
Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"
Do you know sign language? You should learn it, itβs pretty handy.
What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.
Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.
A cross eyed teacher couldnβt control his pupils.
After the accident, the juggler didn
... keep reading on reddit β‘I know this is not normal, but can you guys make a pun from the name Kasper? Itβs for his birthday
I understand if this post gets removed
Edit: english pronunciation
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday dear...
Edit: Wow. Wasn't expecting over 1,000 upvotes on my first ever post. Thanks!
Because it's March Forth!
In my birthday card my dad wrote, "It seems like only a year ago we celebrated your 17th birthday"
Or alternatively a happy birthday manatee pun? Anyone?
Edit: pic here http://imgur.com/BPGZ47F
I always wish people happy birthday with a pun. For example, "have a SARAHmazing birthday!" However, now I need a birthday pun based off the name "Louise." I have been pondering this for days, and I simply can't think of anything. I wish I could give you her last name to help with the punning process, but that would obviously not be a good idea
Mom's Text to Dad - "My phone says it will be 95 on Saturday. I don't know what to do."
...
Dad's Reply - "Wish it a Happy Birthday."
Hi Folks, If you are a linguist then I am selling your dream car! Iβm selling an Accent, a 2004 Hyundai Accent to be precise. Even if you donβt know a bunch of languages, this car is still great for you.
Just like me, itβs been around the birthday block a few times, but thereβs still lots of life left in both of us, I guarantee! If you are looking for the perfect body, seek out a surgeon. If youβre looking for a car that will love you just the way you are, this is it. Now I know what youβre thinking, βI bet this is a junkerβ, but youβd be wrong. Next to my wife this is the best body Iβve ever had my hands on.
Whatβs wrong with it mechanically you ask? Nothing! It drives great, A/C & heat still work like a dream, breaks work, transmission shifts good, and the 1.6L engine runs great. With its age, the engine has had some parts replaced. All the belts have recently been changed, that happens with age as I just went up a few sizes myself. The washer fluid pump has been changed because itβs important to be able to have a good cry once in a while. I did an oil change in the summer and depending on how long it takes for this car to finds itβs new match, I will do another in the next month or so.
Since beauty is in the eye of the beholder, Iβll give you a run down of what the interior is like. Itβs whatβs on the inside that matters anyway right? I am the 3rd owner of this car and the previous owner was a smoker. I donβt believe there is a cigarette smell anymore but the cloth seats do have little holes in them. I mean hey, when you play with fire you get burnt right? The stereo head unit has been replaced with a modern Pioneer as the original just wasnβt in tune with my musical needs as a Dj. The only real problem this pretty young thing has is the passenger rear seatbelt does not retract. Since I have two mini controllers I taxi around, Iβve had car seats in the back and have had no reason to replace the seatbelt yet. A new one is only a cool $250 from Hyundai but will take some time for delivery. There are still 4 working seatbelts in the car so if youβre traveling with another couple, Iβm sure theyβll love to cuddle up in the middle and behind you, the driver.
The trunk is spacious enough for the average trunk but just doesnβt work out so well for hauling Dj gear. The rear seats fold as easy a poker player having their bluff called, so it will give you extra room. Not much more that I can think of to tell you about but take a look at the plethora of p
... keep reading on reddit β‘http://i.imgur.com/1Fm2ojr.jpg
Cake day is such an emotional day. I am in tiers...
βOne would have been enough.β
Everyone stood around and sang Happy Birthday.
So I called her to wish her happy birthday
Dad: happy birthday to me
Yesterday was my dad's birthday, and he turned 52. I called him to wish him a happy birthday, find out what he wanted to do for dinner, etc, all the stuff you do on someone's birthday.
Then I said, "You're only ten years away from your one-minute birthday!"
He seemed confused so I had to clarify... "You know, your... Sixty-Second birthday!"
I could hear the cringe through the phone, and I heard my fiancΓ©e groan from downstairs.
Now I just have to hope he forgets over the next ten years so I can make this joke again.
Hello people of reddit i need a huge favor my friend's birthday is coming soon and i need to tell her happy birthday include a pun with her name. So if any of you got a pun it will be awesome.
Her name is Valerie
Sorry for the bad english not my first language
Hey man! Happy 30th birthday..about time!
I know! Took me 30 years to get here!
...
