I have started carrying a piece of stone with me to throw at people who sing Christmas songs before Thanksgiving.

It’s my jingle bell rock.

πŸ‘︎ 17k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a laptop that can sing?

A Dell.

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Grexti
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the technician sing to the broken computer?

Trouble-soothing.

My son loves this one with online learning. I only had to explain to him what troubleshooting was 4 times!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OrangeCandi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15
🚨︎ report
I asked my friend Sam to sing me a song about my iPhone.

And then Samsung.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/big_impulse
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07
🚨︎ report
What rock group has only four members and none of them sing?

Mount Rushmore

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Everyone told Sam not to sing
πŸ‘︎ 105
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bloodywolfeyes
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What rock group has four men that don't sing?

Mount Rushmore.

πŸ‘︎ 564
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Odinnextgen
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Nobody wanted to sing Whitesnake with me...

So here I go again on my own.

πŸ‘︎ 74
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BillyBob_TX
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you sing when a witch gets married?

Ding! Dong! The witch is wed!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AssCumBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend told me she hates songs by Britney Spears and she doesn't want me to sing them.

But oops, I did it again.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/danielsoft1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
My dad tried to sing yesterday.

He had a bit of treble with the high notes.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Stormbreaker636
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
🚨︎ report
When singing Christmas carols, why does C3P0 only sing about the 2nd, 4th, 6th, 8th, 10th, and 12th days of Christmas?

Because Han Solo told C3P0 to never tell him the odds!

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Holeotitis
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
what song do chinese cannibals sing before dinner?

We will wok you

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pretlik
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the well driller sing to his customers when he couldn't find water for them.

Noel Noel Noel

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/timthedriller
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
🚨︎ report
When my daughter is nauseous, I sing to help relax her...

Apparently she's not a big fan of 'Let It Go'

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/foxesarezuper
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
What language do impersonators of the King of Rock n' Roll sing in?

Elvish

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CognitiveNerd1701
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What rock group has 4 guys who don't sing?

Mount Rushmore

πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ScumbagClub
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife asked if I would sing Wonderwall.

I said maybe....

πŸ‘︎ 102
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/avatarwang72
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a computer that sings..

Adele

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sw33tcheeks427
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
just came across this pun thread from an eternity ago, seriously,, it was worth Peru-sing
πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Banoooooooo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I went to the opticians yesterday and she asked to sing a high note when I asked why, she told me

β€œSo we know if you can C#”

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Brian_mayonnaise
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
At a conference there was the most courageous person who went by the name Sam. Before he got on the stage to deliver his impressive speech, all attendees begged him not to sing.

But Samsung anyway.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/vapingpigeon94
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the starfish sing when they gained independence?

Sea stars are doin' it for themselves

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gubaxter
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Everyone told Sam not to sing

But Samsung

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NotA_Drug_Dealer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I always carry a pebble with me to throw at people who sing Christmas songs in October.

I call it my jingle bell rock!

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jxwtf585
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
🚨︎ report
For me, the urge to sing β€œThe Lion Sleeps Tonight” is always just a whim away...

...a whim away, a whim away, a whim away, a whim away...

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you make a duck sing?

Put it in the oven till its Bill Withers

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dunkulture1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Everyone told Sam not to sing!

But Samsung anyway…

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HogHank
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
🚨︎ report
It helps if you sing it
πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lams1d
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2020
🚨︎ report
What rock group has 4 guys who can't sing or play instruments?

Mount Rushmore

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/infinitywee
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Which rock group has four guys who can't sing or play instruments?

Mount Rushmore!

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheIndrajitKar
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do people sing in the shower?

Because the audience in the toilet is shit!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nirinaron
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What rock group has four people that don’t sing?

Mount Rushmore

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/potatoOnABus
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I want to hear 99 people sing 'Africa' by Toto.

It's something that a hundred men or more could never do...

πŸ‘︎ 213
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/engineerwho_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s a rock group of 4, where none of them sing?

Mount Rushmore.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Firehornet117
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I have a cricket in my heater closet who sings all night long

I mean, he's no Lionel Richie, but he's not half bad.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/raven21633x
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Sam, don't sing, we're going deaf
πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LamborghiniBottle
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
🚨︎ report
I usually sing with a deep voice. But when I wash my hands,

I sing faucetto...

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mickets
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
🚨︎ report
They can sing!
πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mr-ariyo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2020
🚨︎ report
The urge to sing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" may come at any time

It's just a whim away, a whim away, a whim away, a whim away

πŸ‘︎ 85
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Everyone kept telling Sam not to sing...

But samsung anyway.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Degtyrev
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do fish always sing off key ?

You can’t tuna fish

πŸ‘︎ 48
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/darkalan64
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I thought I would never be able to sing along with other person

But, in the end, I was able to duet.

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jpereira73
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Daughter: β€œDad, ask me who sings this song. I’ll give you a clue, it starts with the letter β€˜S’!

Dad: β€œFirst, ask me if I care. I’ll give you a clue, it starts with the letter β€˜N’”

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chinatown117
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What rock group has four men that don't sing?

Mount Rushmore.

πŸ‘︎ 73
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rtedith
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
🚨︎ report
For me, the urge to sing β€œThe Lion Sleeps Tonight” is always just a whim away...

a whim away, a whim away, a whim away, a whim away

πŸ‘︎ 14k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thegreatsorcerer
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2019
🚨︎ report
The sudden urge to sing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight"

is just a whim away, a whim away, a whim away...

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/2shoesnotfellows
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I always carry a pebble with me to throw at people who sing Christmas songs in October.

I call it my jingle bell rock.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jxwtf585
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2019
🚨︎ report

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