Naw Puns

Their legs have to be pretty beefy to do that

After the cheetah easily wins, the lion complains: "Man, you're a cheetah" and the cheetah says: "Naw man you're a lion".

Lil Naw Sex

Needless to say, my plans were foiled

It sucks

The suspension is killing me.

Because they're good buoys.

It depends on what's at steak

He was 0K

Naw, I’m just kitten

I recently tore all the ligaments in my ankle and I’m still in rehab. I was on the sidewalk concentrating on my crutches when a construction worker popped up in front of me. Initially I thought he was going to tell me I was walking under something dangerous; halfway through I thought he was going to ask me out; then Jesus happened:

“Hey, that looks like it hurts!”

“Naw, it’s not bad, it’s much better now.”

“Running? Skiing? How’d you do it?”

“Rock climbing.”

“Rock climbing! Wow, so you must be strong, eh?”

“Yeah, I’m ripped.”

“ … ripped? Really?”

“Yeah, I’m super ripped.”

“ … oh. Wow. Not joking.”

“Yeah, I’m joking. I’m not actually ripped.”

“ … ahaha … hah. That was good.”

“Yep.”

“So, I’m Christian.”

“Hi, Christian.”

“... and I don’t know if you’ve read the Bible, but the Bible says that laying on of hands, especially for our fellow Christians, will heal. And I’ve …” etc.

It took me a block to realize that I’d accidentally made a Dad joke.

I say "naw, like the opposite." "Oh, so a beat down"

Naw, they're just exspearminting.

Me: Arrrrrrr! Dad: Naw, it's tha C" we really love.

Just one? You got one hair cut.

Gf: "German is actually quite difficult."

Me: "Naw, it's not THAT hard."

Gf: "Well, it's just so hard to say!"

Me: "Son, say German."

4yo son: "Jehr-muhn."

Me: "See? Even a 4 year old can do it."

Naw its ok, havarti tried it.

Friend: is that Adele? Me: naw it's a Mac

We saw a post on Imgur about movie stars being ageless, and she started going on about Sandra Bullock...

GF: How the heck does Sandra Bullock look better now than she did in the 90s? What is her secret? And don't tell me it's genes.

Me: Jeans? Naw, I mostly see her in slacks and dresses, so it can't be that.

Guy: can I have a glass of water?

Bartender: sure, would you like a straw?

Guy: naw, those are for suckers

0_____0

We are sitting having an Indian take-away...

Me: "is that naan bread?"

Friend: "naw mate its grandad bread"

Context: We were talking about our company, which is ridiculously cheap.

Him: [Company], building stereotypes. That's their new slogan.

Me: I like it! Sell it to our CEO, I'm sure it'll fly.

Him: Naw, he takes the grey gound

"Did you know March Madness is over?"

"Really? I thought there were some games left?"

"Naw it's April Madness now." guffaws

Naw, I’m just kitten