I said "Eh, she's alright I guess."
I only wanted one granny flat :(
Gran-hola!
Ehh, I cannot buy that for a second.
Granola
She decided to start walking 2miles a day to keep fit......
sheβs 73 now and I have no fucking clue where she is.
Now she's an insta-Gramma.
Nan-"watched a great movie today"
Me-"oh yeah, what's it about?"
Nan-"about an hour and a half"
Nan: I need to nip out later to grab some velcro
Me: I'd buy online if I were you. Velcro is a right rip off...
Nan: No, it's quite reasonably priced I think.
Smiled slightly and left it at that. Two weeks on and she still has no idea!
And while I was working a nice old lady came to my til. I scanned through all her items and it came to Β£56.83, but after counting up all her change she had just shy of Β£40.
So I offered to help her, to which she refused but I eagerly insisted. I thought this is probably someoneβs Nan, and Iβd like to think someone would help my Nan in the same situation.
So after no time at all, we had all her shopping back on the shelves!
Ba-nan-nan-naaa ba-nan-nan-naaa
It's one small step for Nan....
Silence of the nans.
they were confused because it belonged to "Da Yo"
...I'm Nan-plussed
Ba-nan-a-na, Ba-nan-a-na.
But the Japanese still deny the Nan-king massacre.
It was a paneer-death experience
My sister and brother-in-law travel occasionally, and when they do, they board their dog, Tika, in a kennel (which he loves, because he's very social around other dogs). So I recently had this conversation with a friend...
Me: "Nan and Jeff are going to New York."
Friend: "Oh cool! Will they be boarding Tika?"
Me: "No, they're going by plane."
ba-dum-tiss
Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.
Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":
- Bucyrus International caters to those who mine their own business.
- It would be logical for Mr. Spock to boldly go to Vulcan International for rubber products. He might even live long and prosper -- in comfortable shoes.
- What do manufacturer Electro-Motive Diesel (EMD) and 1970s band Grand Funk Railroad have in common? They both want you to do the locomotion!
- Peter Piper can pick more than a peck of peppers or pickles from B&G Foods.
- Toray Plastics America could sing "foam, foam on the range, where the polyester and polypropylene materials are made" all day.
- Break out the Tums, because things are awfully gassy over at Air Liquide America.
- If a tree falls in a Weyerhaeuser forest, someone is there to hear it -- and he has a chainsaw.
- Although not a pushover, you can walk all over Wilsonart International.
- Here's a HEICO haiku: HEICO companies/ Providing for jet engines/ In flight or on land.
- American Italian Pasta Company (AIPC) uses its noodle in many different ways.
- The golf industry doesn't mind when Aldila gives it the shaft.
- Rat-a-tat-tat and a ringa-ding-ding. What's that? Answer: The sounds emanating from Pearl, one of the world's foremost makers of drums and other percussion and musical instruments.
- Saint-Gobain Ceramics & Plastics deals powders and crystal, but there's no need to call the cops.
- Pamida Stores Operating Company offers more small-town values than a bandwagon of Republicans on the campaign trail.
- Like a tight end, offshore drilling contractor Transocean dreams of going deep but doesn't mind eating a little mud.
- Rittal me this, Batman!
- Utility Trailer Manufacturing is spreading its own brand of reefer madness.
- Who is the Fresh Prince of Sullair?
- If GrafTech International were a bard, it could wax poetic in an ode to the electrode.
- When it comes to adhesives and vibration control products, LORD knows.
- You might say that Deere & Company enjoys its customers going to seed.
- Pfizer pfabricates pfarmaceuticals pfor quite a pfew inpfirmities.
- Stripping is OK at Spraylat.
- Don't think Seton is
My gran fell asleep whilst eating piri piri chicken...
...she had a cheeky nan dose!
As I hand it to my nan,
Nan: oh its mounted!
Grandad: I see no horse?
