[Request] Nautical puns!

Sexually suggestive and/or light hearted and clean!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/American_Standard
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2015
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2012
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Looking for a sailing/ nautical punch pub

I’m looking for a punny Nautical pun for a punch I am serving.

Thank you in advance for any ideas

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kentuckyderby001
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2021
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Where can you find a nautical mathmatician?

In da seas

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Skarrro
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2018
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I would tell you a nautical joke...

But it's knot funny.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KDF357
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2019
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My friends had a nautical-zombie-themed wedding last weekend

They were the docking wed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nine_legged_stool
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2019
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Why did the businessman learn the nautical alphabet before flying over the Atlantic?

He was travelling over C’s.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wilberfarce
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2018
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Nautical Nonsense

Was at my friends cabin helping him ready the boat to go out on the lake. Friend: "Looks like we're in good shape" Me: "Yeah, ship shape"

He was not amused.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/petersk8008
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2014
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What do you call a nautically themed latin pop singer?

Sharkira

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2017
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My favorite nautically-themed dice game...

is "yacht-sea"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CronoZero15
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2016
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The Little Mermaid shouldn’t be named Ariel

She should be named Nautical!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/spoodermemes
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
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And now for some β€œin-depth” coverage, let’s go live to our reporter.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2018
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People who don't understand how to measure depths in the ocean really find it hard to fathom.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sineofthetimes
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2019
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Why can't you tickle a sailor?

Because they're nautical-ish

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TREXADRON
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2018
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I went to a boat store thinking it would be cool

but it was nautical shop

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jbnhrpr
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2019
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What kind of facial hair should a sea captain have?

A boatee. ^its ^like ^goatee ^but ^boat. ^^yay ^^nautical ^^humour

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WheresTheWombo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2016
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What do they call phone sex in the Navy?

Nautical sex

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BinaryPeach
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2019
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What do sailors call their pin-ups while at sea?

A nautical.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tamer_
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2018
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So today I bought some fish...

I recently joined a CSF - a community supported fishery. Once a week, I'll pick up a filet of freshly-caught salmon, a bag of shellfish, or other such delights from the Pacific Ocean and bring it home to my darling wife and children to much joy (or anguish, depending on who you're asking.)

You get to choose your pick-up spot, and I chose a location close to my office, so I could swing by on the way home; it's a nautical-themed bar, appropriate for such a business transaction. "Go to the bartender and ask for the fish", say the instructions; so I did, and he handed me the catch of the day. Gleaming white filets, glorious they were. Then I met a friend of mine, and after chatting for a little while, I went home.

"Jack," says my wife, "what took you so long? You should have been home an hour ago!"

"Sorry," I said. "I stopped by the bar, just for the halibut."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ajacksified
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2014
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I went to a boat store thinking it would be cool

but it was nautical shop

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jbnhrpr
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2019
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Why can't you tickle a sailor?

Because they're nautical-ish.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bignate1213
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2018
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Why can't you tickle a sailor?

Because they're nautical-ish.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bignate1213
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2018
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