I was walking round a shop when I noticed a mooning gnome solar powered lamp...

I looked at my wife and said surely if he's mooning, it's lunar powered right?

(I hope everyone understands "mooning" is when someone gets their rear end out, dunno if it's just a British term)

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alfherin
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2017
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Did you know they found water on the moon?

But only when it’s waning

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SubstantialBelly6
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2021
🚨︎ report
How does the moon cut his hair?

Eclipse it

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Toastshalom
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2021
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That’s a moray
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/whicky1978
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2021
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My neighbour got bit by a female deer and starts acting like one on a full moon...

What a were-doh...

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yaswolf
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2021
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My son grows a lot of fur and manufactures products of art or craft on nights when the moon is full...

He is a ware wolf!

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2021
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A new restaurant opened in my town called The Moon

The food is terrific but there's no atmosphere.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quantity_Weary
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2021
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I'm Buzz Aldrin, the second person to walk on the moon.

Neil before me!

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MohanBhargava
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2021
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The moon is full tonight, do you think he eats too much?

No, it’s just a phase

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LTenaciouSD
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2021
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Why did the Moon Restaurant fail?

The food was decent, but there was no atmosphere whatsoever

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2021
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Dude, did you see the full moon last night?

It was totally lit!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Juevolitos
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2021
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I have a friend who is convinced that you can find water on the moon.

I said "That's lunacy!"

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DoctorJoss
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2021
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I was outside, laying down, at night, admiring the stars and the moon

Then it dawned on me.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pineappleninja91
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2021
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What did the dad say to his son when he became afraid of the full moon?

"Don't worry! It's just a phase it's going through!"

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you need if you’re cold, while on the moon?

A space heater.

πŸ‘︎ 86
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PixiePoops
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2021
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Astronomers got tired watching the moon go around the earth for 24 hours.

They decided to call it a day.

πŸ‘︎ 72
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πŸ‘€︎ u/saiyyanwarrior
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
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What happens to Werewolf's house when its the full moon?

It becomes a warehouse.

Credit to Haldzur, the newest dad in our party.

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eagle_Vision_13
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2021
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I like going out during a full moon...

...but my lycanthropy gives me pause.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FreeBroccoli
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2021
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Saw Buzz Aldrin today. Told my friend that he was the second man on the moon.

Neil before him.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FredererPower
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2021
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I am a mom but, here goes

Did you know that NASA sent a chicken to the moon?

You remember the a pollo missions.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NEIRBO747
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2021
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I promised my new girlfriend the sun, the moon and the stars....

So, I took her to the planetarium.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2021
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My kids recently been super obsessed with the moon and my wife is starting to get worried.

I told her not to worry, it’s only a phase.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Strange_An0maly
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2021
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When the moon hits your knees, you mispronounce countries...

Singapore!

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2021
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

It has lots of space.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DoomRulz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
🚨︎ report
What kind of car does the moon drive?

An Eclipse.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JaykDoe
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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My dog moon got his leg amputated, but that's ok...

He's a got a faux pas now

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
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When the moon hits your eye, Like a big pizza pie, That's amore.

When an eel bites your hand, And that's not what you planned, That's a moray.

When our habits are strange, And our customs deranged, That's our mores.

When your horse munches straw, And the bales total four, That's some more hay.

When Othello's poor wife Becomes stabbed with a knife, That's a Moor, eh?

When a Japanese knight Uses his sword in a fight, That's Samurai.

When your sheep go to graze In a damp marshy place, That's a moor, eh?

When your boat comes home fine And you tie up her line, That's a moor, eh?

When you ace your last tests Like you did all the rest, That's some more "A"s!

In New Zealand you see An aborigine, That's a Maori.

Alley Oop's homeland has A space gun with pizzazz, That's a Moo Ray.

A comedian ham, With the name Amsterdam, That's a Morey.

When your chocolate graham, Is so full and so crammed, That s'more, eh.

When you've had quite enough, Of this dumb rhyming stuff, That's "No more!", eh?

πŸ‘︎ 685
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ComeAbout
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
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Sure the cow jumped over the moon! You would jump too!

That man’s hands were COLD...

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Elo_Solo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a man obsessed with the moon?

A lunar-tic.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hercxjo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
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From my son -- What kind of cheese is the moon made of?

Moonster.

(Full disclosure: I'm not sure if my son heard this elsewhere, but it killed me.)

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fermatajack
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
How does the moon cut his hair?

Eclipse it.

I’ll take that ban now

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/archit14
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
🚨︎ report
How does the moon take a bath?

It has meteor showers!

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/space0watch
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
How does the moon cut his hair?

Eclipse it!

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Doktor_Vem
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2021
🚨︎ report
Have you heard about the new restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Oreisan
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2021
🚨︎ report
How does the Moon cuts its hair?

Eclipse it.

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mintyboi123
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2021
🚨︎ report
Restaurant at the moon

Have you ever heard about the Restaurant at the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoulScripter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2021
🚨︎ report
How does the moon cut his hair?

Eclipse it.

πŸ‘︎ 85
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JCraay
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
🚨︎ report
"I am Buzz Aldrin, second man on the moon"

"Neil before me"

πŸ‘︎ 63
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hud_is_on
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
🚨︎ report
How does the moon cut its hair?

Eclipse it

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/flippantteacup
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
🚨︎ report
I am Buzz Aldrin. Second man to step on the moon.

Neil before me.

πŸ‘︎ 27k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mooshoopork4
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I am Buzz Aldrin. Second man to step on the moon

Neil before me

πŸ‘︎ 133
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
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When the moon hits your knees and you mispronounce trees

Sycamore

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/buttered_t0asties
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere!

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheVengefulKitten
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Last week I went to a restaurant on the moon.

The food is great but there is no atmosphere.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kellogs_cereal2
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
🚨︎ report
How does the moon cut his hair?

Eclipse it.

πŸ‘︎ 306
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πŸ‘€︎ u/koukasen_np
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Have you heard about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food. No atmosphere, though...

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Space_Eaglez
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
🚨︎ report
Hi I'm Buzz Aldrin, the second man to walk on the moon.

Neil before me.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2021
🚨︎ report
Have you eaten at the restaurant on the moon?

The food is great, but there’s no atmosphere.

πŸ‘︎ 44
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report

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