pol.io
But I donβt want to count my pumpkins before they patch.
Itβs Siri S. Lee. Seriously.
In medieval times, people were named Lance a lot
Because it's the most punderful time of the year!
Link to calendar for those who want it: https://pdfhost.io/v/TQuSCzy.W_AdventCalendar2020pdf.pdf
Toot-in-common.
... so they can beat the crowds!
Edit: Wow, this is now my second highest upvoted post ever, and it's not even my own joke! Totally should have credited the video I saw this in: https://www.reddit.com/r/PublicFreakout/comments/h8btkp/protester_has_a_joke_for_the_police_officers/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
Thanks for the laughs and great comment threads, Reddit :)
It was in tents.
It's always bringing everyone down
Isle weight.
For His-panic attacks.
Then he starts spinning his leashed dog around himself. The bartender asks him what the Hell is he doing, and the blind man goes:
"Just looking around..."
My daughter had to wire an essay about her hobby, which is softball. Her opener:
Pitcher this, youβre standing on a mound.
I was overwhelmed, and more proud than ever. She threw in some other puns too, it was an excellent essay, sheβs giving me a run for my money, I batter watch out.
Edit: thank you u/PsychicGnome for the reminder that my kids are better parents than I am
A poultry-geist
...does that make you an iWitness?
Lovely bloke, but a terrible bank manager
Brochure.
He wrote me an IO eau.
Because their head is really far away.
http://i.imgur.com/kekwP1L.jpg
You can hide, but you can't run.
Doctor: then donβt go to those places
My sister is watching this show called "Crazy Ex-Girlfriend" and I just overheard her reference a joke they made.
It went something like this:
"I thought you were in Iowa"
"Iowas, but now I'm back"
I want to watch this show.
We will never know!
https://www.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/ap9gqf/i_have_a_phd_in_procrastin/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app
But really, the truth is that itβs all in the delivery.
