Where do giant monsters shop for real estate?
π︎ 7
π
︎ May 15 2021
When you leave the church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster...
That's called A-pasta-cy
I'm proud of that one. I originally posted it to r/cleanjokes
π︎ 13
π
︎ Apr 14 2021
Why did the two monsters take turns to frighten the little kid?
Because sharing is scaring
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 08 2021
What did the monster say to his son after he hadnβt seen him for years?
βMy how you gruesomeβ
π︎ 16
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︎ Apr 21 2021
What's a drug addict's favourite monster?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Apr 21 2021
What is a sea monsters favourite food
π︎ 58
π
︎ Mar 02 2021
Frankenstones' Monster.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Feb 19 2021
The monster took all the keys off my keyboard.
Now I'm out of control and there's no escape.
π︎ 19
π
︎ Mar 03 2021
I found out the other day that the flying spaghetti monster has a lot of anxiety.
I guess he suffers from impasta syndrome
π︎ 9
π
︎ Mar 28 2021
π︎ 3
π
︎ Mar 30 2021
The LOOK Ness Monster
π︎ 17
π
︎ Feb 04 2021
Did you know that archeologists discovered ancient Egyptians watched monster movies?
Moth-Ra was their favorite.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Mar 22 2021
Why didnβt the monster laugh at the ghosts joke?
Because he was full of sheet.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Feb 14 2021
MY DAUGHTER KEPT COMPLAINING FOR DAYS ABOUT A MONSTER UNDER HER BED
So I drank it and told her to stop hiding cansπ€
π︎ 18
π
︎ Feb 17 2021
Father talks to his 5-year-old son: βNo, Petie, you donβt have to worry. There is no monster sleeping under your bed.
It sleeps every day in the bed next to me.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Mar 09 2021
Whatβs a monsters favorite kind of sweets?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Mar 04 2021
What happened when the monster's football game was all tied up?
They went into ogre time.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Feb 17 2021
Please destroy me for this monster ive created
π︎ 745
π
︎ Jul 28 2020
My kids wanted me to play monster
So I told them I gambled away their college fund and slept with their aunt
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jan 31 2021
Why donβt monsters eat ghosts?
Because they taste like sheet
π︎ 108
π
︎ Oct 29 2020
Dr. Frankestein had a hard time creating his monster's stomach.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Jan 12 2021
What's cookie Monster's favorite horse?
π︎ 12
π
︎ Jan 08 2021
What is a monster's favorite dessert?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jan 20 2021
After eating the ship, the sea monster said,
I canβt believe I ate the hull thing.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Oct 25 2020
My son thinks I'm so cool for being able to talk like Cookie Monster and Elmo.
I guess you could say I have Sesame Street cred.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Dec 28 2020
Am I a monster?
π︎ 45
π
︎ Jul 16 2020
Frankenstein's monster and the bride of Frankenstein sit down for dinner
Bride: How come you never help with the dinner
Frankenstein: I did
Bride: How?
Frankenstein: I did the mash...
Bride: Don't you dare
π︎ 9
π
︎ Oct 23 2020
I told my kids, "Did you know Albert Einstein had a brother that was an evil scientist who created a monster from body parts and his name wasβ¦"
π︎ 8
π
︎ Dec 06 2020
Are monsters good at math
Only if you count Dracula
π︎ 60
π
︎ Sep 11 2020
Probably the real monster Eminem was talking about
π︎ 40
π
︎ Jul 08 2020
What do monsters say when they stub their toe?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Dec 01 2020
Two monsters were at a party having a good time when one of them noticed a lady monster rolled her eyes at them. The monster asked his monster friend "what should I do?"
The other other monster replied "be a gentleman, roll them back to her."
π︎ 11
π
︎ Nov 02 2020
How do monsters like their chicken cooked?
π︎ 11
π
︎ Nov 03 2020
What kind of fermented milk product do large scary monsters eat?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 25 2020
Why were all the monsters in Monsters Inc. gay?
Because they all came out of closets.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 09 2020
Son: Dad there is a monster coming out of my closet
Dad: Don't worry son, just be supportive.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Oct 27 2020
what do you get when you cross a swamp monster with a bean?
The creature from the black legume!
π︎ 18
π
︎ Oct 13 2020
Otyugh (Garbage Monster) barbecue parties are always bad....
Every BBQ is a dumpsterfire!
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 30 2020
I truly am a monster. My partner is a nurse for context.
π︎ 15
π
︎ Jul 23 2020
Wrong monster!
π︎ 883
π
︎ Dec 03 2019
Did you hear about the monster-sized piece of cheese destroying the city?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Aug 28 2020
"What do sea monsters eat?"
π︎ 114
π
︎ Jan 27 2021
Why don't monsters eat ghosts?
Because they taste like sheet..
π︎ 114
π
︎ Oct 27 2020
After eating da ship, da sea monster said, Me canβt believe Me ate da hull fing.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Dec 02 2020
Why donβt monsters eat ghosts?
Because they taste like sheet
π︎ 27
π
︎ Nov 03 2020
Do you know why monsters don't eat ghosts?
π︎ 25
π
︎ Nov 21 2020
Monsters don't like eating ghosts
It's because they taste like sheet
π︎ 11
π
︎ Oct 25 2020
Are there any Halloween monsters good at math?
Only if you count Dracula.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Oct 08 2020
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