/u/Ivegotacitytorun makes an amazing Dragon pun reddit.com/r/AskReddit/co…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SirSkidMark
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2016
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Why does the dragon not observe the Sabbath?

He only preys on weak knights.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/evanmcook
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10
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I'd hate to be a dragon.

I'd get so angry trying to blow out my birthday candles.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12
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Imagine Dragons
πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mr-ariyo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03
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Models of dragons are not to scale
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ May 05
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I keep hearing Mission Control check in with Dragon Crew, asking "How do you read, over."

And I just KNOW if I were up there I would be physically unable to keep myself from responding "Dragon to Mission Control, I read with my eyes, over." I wonder how many times before they airlock me.

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/H_G_Bells
πŸ“…︎ May 31
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What did a dragon say when he saw his first hatchling?

Whelp, that's a good start.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/trash_can_not
πŸ“…︎ May 28
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What's a whales favorite dragon ball z character

Krillin

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tjeters
πŸ“…︎ May 23
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Santa hit a dragon and killed it whilst flying over medieval England...

... guess you could say he sleighed it

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Arctic_Womble
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2019
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A joke I thought of in elementary school: what did the dragon say to the bad employee?

You're fired.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mahare
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27
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What did the dragon say to the office worker?

You're fired!

Credit my 9 year old son, flexing being a dad early.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZombieDR
πŸ“…︎ May 07
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How to grain your dragon
πŸ‘︎ 57
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TTT_2k3
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09
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What is a dragon’s favorite band?

The Flaming Lips

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/afranc72
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25
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Why do dragons sleep during the day?

So they can fight the knights!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RayInRed
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15
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What’s a dragon’s favorite band?

The Flaming Lips

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BettydelSol
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13
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Dungeons and Dragons looks like a lot of fun. I'd love to try it some day.

I guess I consider myself die-curious

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IAMGodAMAA
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06
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Why couldn’t the bearded dragon have kids?

Because he had an e-reptile dysfunction

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GamerDad87
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21
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The irony of putting Tooth Fairy money in his How To Train Your Dragon bank
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mystil_Rylvayn
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2019
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My dragon is asleep

He's now dragoff.

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gitrikt
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18
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What do you call a dragon with no wings

Draggin

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/goblin-with-a-GUN
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28
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What do you call a Chinese dragon's beard?

Low mane

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AminesToAnEnd
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2019
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I always sing Radioactive by Imagine Dragons to my son on his birthday.

He should feel welcome to the new age.

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hbarn08
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2019
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Why can't an Ender Dragon read a book?

Because they always start at the end.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shaun16player
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2019
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I can’t stand watching a dragon boat competetion...

... it is such a rowed race!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dasherjim
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2019
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Dads on Dungeons and Dragons

Dad: I see you're playing Dungeons and Dragons, is your character a dwarf?

Me: I'm playing a Gnome dad... we've been over this

Dad: I'm sorry - I must not be familiar with the... Gnomenclature

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrYogurt1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2019
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A cow tried to sneak past a sleeping dragon

Made a nice flaming yawn

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JBaczuk
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
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The Rare and Endangered "Kimono Dragon"
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OffbeatTiding
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2018
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Whats a Dragons favorite snack?

Firecrackers.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cherry_Pop_Soda
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2019
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Got my son on this one yesterday. He was listening to imagine dragons.

Me: Do they ever play this band on the radio? son: of course its imagine dragons. me: so they are active on the radio? son: looks at me for a second, oh jeez me: so they are radio-active!

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubeykeebler
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2019
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How do you get dragon milk?

From a cow with short legs.

πŸ‘︎ 122
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2019
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How much does a dragon weigh?

Depends on the scales.

πŸ‘︎ 737
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HUMANPHILOSOPHER
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2018
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Pungeons and Dragons
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Raggedy-Man
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2019
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How does Santa defeat dragons?

He sleighs them.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2018
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What do dragons eat?

Whatever they want.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yokotron
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2019
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When did the dragon's meal get interrupted?

Around mid-knight.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aiandi
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2019
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Why do dragons sleep at day time?

So they can fight knights.

πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GrayingMantis
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2018
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Why do dragons refuse to eat paladins? reddit.com/r/DnD/comments…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GirthMnstr
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2019
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Why do people pay money to see Imagine dragons

When all you have to do is imagine dragons for free

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ssj3dvp11
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2018
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I just had sex in public with an invisible dragon

Nobody saw it coming.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/knite
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2018
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Did you hear about the dragon that became a rapper?

He spit hot fire.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuperScopeSix
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2019
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Why are children afraid of dragons?

They are scaly.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DandyBeyond
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2018
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A game of strip Dungeons & Dragons sounds pretty dicey.
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DenimMan13
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2018
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What do you call the cow that slayed a dragon?

Legendairy.

πŸ‘︎ 65
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πŸ‘€︎ u/52754215
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2017
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What do you call an alcoholic dragon?

A BEER-ded dragon.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/congratulaated
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2018
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How can tell a boy dragon from a girl dragon?

Fireballs.

πŸ‘︎ 47
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πŸ‘€︎ u/greenhawk72
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2017
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What do you get when a dragon sneezes?

Out of the way!

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2017
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What do you call a Komodo Dragon in bandages?

A wrap-tile.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kildrakwolfsbane
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2018
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What did German Shrek say when he was saved from the clutches of the dragon?

Danke!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thedhusquad
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2018
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Can you perform a spinning dragon uppercut

Shor-yu-ken

Ba-dum tss

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheGamerBoy015
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2018
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A danish, a cornbread piece, and a croissant plays Dungeons and Dragons

I guess you can say they are roll playing ...

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aparks1437
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2018
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What kind of cake does a dragon eat?

A lair cake.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/maroonmonday
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2018
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The dragon killed the knight that came to save the captive princess and then said to her:

What happened? Seems you had a lousy night ...

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/afarro
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2018
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A Dungeons & Dragons Related Dad Joke...

I'm currently running my players through a D&D adventure titled "Curse of Strahd".

Last session, my players found a journal revealing details about the main villain, Count Strahd Von Zarovich. When they acquired it, I passed the adventure book over--opened up to an illustration depicting the journal's pages--and one of the players proceeded to read. After struggling for a bit, he said, "I'm having a tough time reading this cause it's so cursive."

Yes," I responded. "It's the cursive Strahd."

I had that one chambered and ready for weeks, just waiting for the right moment.

What my players don't know is that I'm also going to include a few other bits of flavor for my them to find as they progress through the game:

  • A fancy handbag with the initials "SVZ" hammered into the leather... the "purse of Strahd"
  • A grave in which the Von Zarovich family nanny is buried... the "nurse of Strahd"
  • A carriage very obviously built to accommodate Strahd's coffin... the "hearse of Strahd"
... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/transplantasian
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2016
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Dragon Ball's Krillin really lucked out...

Because no matter how old he gets, his wife stays 18.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Axiali
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2017
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I can't get this song about a dragon out of my head.

It's a total earwyrm.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IanGecko
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2016
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A Dungeons and Dragons Dad Joke

Once I talked my dad into playing Dungeons and Dragons with me and my friends. We were looking over his character sheet before the game when he noticed "Darkvision 60 ft." He asked me what that meant.

I said, "It means you can see 60 feet in the dark."

"But only if there are 30 people."

πŸ‘︎ 100
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Traikan
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2013
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Why do people in Skyrim use dragons for measurement?

Because they have scales

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KrishaCZ
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2015
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Diagnosing a diseased catfolk in our Dungeons & Dragons game.

So we are playing dnd and our Catfolk Barbarian gets sick from being bitten from a giant tick a few days ago. She's pretty salty about it because it's made her physically weaker and she can't hit thing as well. The GM (her dad) says "She is sick with a disease that's like an extreme form of lime disease." "My God". I said "It's Lemon Disease." Without skipping a beat the GM says, "Yes. And it's made a sour puss."

We all die.

πŸ‘︎ 73
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Derflem
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2015
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Girlfriend was playing Dragon Age: Origins

Her: "Zevran, you're next few levels are going to Constitution..."

Me: "He needs a Bill of Rights."

Bonus: "How many amendments are you going to give him?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jcb245
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2017
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My son got me while I was scanning a sketch he drew of a dragon.

While Photoshopping a scan of a dragon he drew in pencil, I stated I was going to convert it to grayscale. His response?

"Can we convert it to red scales, instead?"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gatorflier
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2016
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Why are dragons hard to work with ???

They fire everyone

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jnr_jinx
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2016
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Dad Joked in Dragon Age

My character and his companions are walking around a dwarven ruin when a conversation occurs between two of them that goes something like this:

"You hadn't written me since the day that explosion happened! If you had died in that I would've come and dug up your corpse just to kick your ass."

The NPC in question says "what would you have done if I had been cremated?"

"I would have kicked your ash"

No groans from the other NPCs occurred but mine was certainly audible from my room.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cooley327
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2015
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Rewatching How to Train Your Dragon with my wife

During the scene where Astrid first flies on Toothless, my wife pointed out that Toothless is adorable and romantic. I said "Yeah, he's one hell of a wingman."

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BaltimoreBirdGuy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2015
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So my friend ordered "Dragon and Phoenix" from a Chinese restaurant...

...in which I replied, "that's what they call a bad day in Arizona."

I'll see myself out.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Robogles
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2015
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Does anyone else think that all this St.George's Day stuff is starting to dragon a little bit?

(I'm sorry)

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Why_The_Flame
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2015
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Wanna know why my coworkers call me Dragon?

Because I'm dragon my ass in and out of the place every day.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cosignthis
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2013
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Why do dragons sleep in the day?

To fight (k)nights!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gwacy
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2013
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Why didn't the dragon observe the Sabbath?

He only preys on weak knights.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/evanmcook
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06
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Why do dragons sleep during the day?

So they can fight Knights!

πŸ‘︎ 93
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TurmRay
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2019
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Where do you get dragon milk?

A cow with short legs!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Normguy85
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2018
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What do you get when a dragon sneezes?

Out of the way

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ttocs77
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2017
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