Saw this on a restaurant's menu.
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︎ Apr 03 2021
I went to a restaurant last night and they had pelican on the menu.
I was going to order it but the bill would have been huge.
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︎ Nov 05 2020
Meats back on the menu boys
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︎ Sep 04 2020
After finishing my meal, the waiter gave me the desert menu.
"Can I ask you something?" I said.
"Certainly," he replied.
I said, "Why did you just eat my food?"
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︎ Jul 17 2020
Why does McDonalds not have a steak sandwich on the menu?
Because it would be a McSteak
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︎ Aug 07 2020
The menu please
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︎ Jul 11 2020
I once went to a Hispanic restaurant that specialized in various exotic cheeses. I asked what was on the menu.
ββKay, so...β the waiter started
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︎ Sep 17 2020
Customer: I have a question about the menu please.
Server: slaps customer THE MEN I PLEASE ARE NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!
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︎ Nov 08 2019
Tried a new item on the menu, Pelican burger.
It was great, but the bill was enormous.
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︎ Aug 10 2020
Why did the Indian restaurant take their bread off the appetizer menu?
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︎ Jul 28 2020
Due to the current economic climate, our Diner menu for Profiteroles was renamed to..
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︎ Aug 03 2020
I went to a restaurant and the waiter sat me down and asked if I'd like to see a dessert menu.
I said "No, that's the last thing I want"
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︎ Mar 22 2020
Date night with my wife and as she's reading the menu she asks, "Is anything popping out at you?"
I said, "I don't think it's that kind of book."
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︎ Feb 08 2020
(fairly certain this is original) I'm out to eat with my girl and the server tells us to scan the barcode on the table to see the menu.
After taking our order and asking if we want anything else, I point at my phone and ask if she can leave us a menu just in case.
I think I wrote my first dad joke original on something new to this changing world!
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︎ Jun 05 2020
Every time we went somewhere to eat, my father would close the menu and say, βIβll take a turtle soup...
and make it snappyβ.
I hated eating anywhere with him, now I think itβs funny. Help, Iβm turning into my father.
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︎ Mar 11 2018
"Waitress,can I ask you something about the menu please ?"
Waitress: [slaps me a good one across the face] "The men I please are none of your business !"....OOF
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︎ Feb 01 2020
Customer: βI have a question about the menu please?β
Waitress: βYou donβt need to know anything about the men I pleaseβ
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︎ Nov 10 2019
Penn's mother's sister had a pie shop. The menu was simply called "The pie rates of Penn's aunt."
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︎ Oct 31 2019
New pizza place opened up. Cracking menu. Radagast the Brownie is my favorite.
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︎ Nov 06 2018
Need help for wedding menu!
We have ice cream flavors like Mint to Be (Oreo mint) and Brownie Eyed Girl (chocolate Brownie, brides flavor) but need help for a name for vanilla cookie dough. Itβs the grooms flavor, his name is Chris if that helps.
THANKS REDDIT
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︎ Jul 18 2018
I was in Greece at a restaurant and my dad walked up to me with the menu....
....he asked me if I could read it because it was all Greek to him. He was so proud of his joke I didn't have the heart to tell him I hated him for leaving me when I was 3.
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︎ Aug 12 2019
Need funny puns for my food truck menu items
Hey y'all. I have an açaà bowl food truck in Fort Worth, TX, and we've always had some pretty witty menu item names. For exmaple, we just took off "the Big Lebolwski"
We just added some things to our menu. Here it is: https://www.rollinnbowlin.com/menu
Anyone have a good funny pun name for our avocado toast? I'll post a picture of our menu on our food truck if someone gives me a really good name! And if you have any better names for any of our items, I'd love to hear them!
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︎ Jan 11 2018
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︎ Sep 26 2018
I heard McDonald's would be offering steak on the menu.
I personally think it will be their biggest McStake ever.
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︎ May 14 2019
So we got a new menu at work
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︎ Jan 06 2018
I recently ate at an east African restaurant. On their menu, one of the items was a mini tamale...
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︎ Jun 21 2018
There's a new menu item at the German place around the corner.
Eins fries that you really should drei.
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︎ Oct 27 2017
A jewish person walks into Outback Steakhouse and orders his favorite steak on the menu
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︎ May 17 2018
Was at the Cheesecake Factory last night, saw Chicken Bellagio on the menu.
Sounds good, but I think it might be a bit of a gamble
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︎ Apr 02 2018
Every single time we go to a restaurant with sea bass on the menu
my dad will ask the waiter if their sea bass is ill tempered. Here is a link to the scene from Austin Powers for anyone who doesn't know the line. Only two waiters have ever gotten the joke.
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︎ Aug 01 2013
My sister asked me, while looking at her menu, "Where are the sides?"
I replied, "Usually next to the main course."
She was not amused. I giggled for 20 minutes. And texted several friends.
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︎ Dec 23 2015
If you had a dad-joke themed restaurant, what would be on the menu?
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︎ Apr 17 2015
A waiter brings a small post-it note to a couple instead of a menu.
It has "You look lovely" and "I love what you've done with your hair" written on it. The couple look confused and ask the waiter what's going on.
"Compliments of the Chef." he says.
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︎ Apr 06 2016
So my wife was looking over the menu at a restaurant and said "why do people even like monte christo sandwiches?"
I told her they were easy to count.
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︎ Jan 01 2017
I was eating at Chin Chin's in NY NY in Las Vegas when I saw this on their menu
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︎ Aug 11 2015
I just asked where the pancakes are, I can't find them on the menu.
Dad said, "In the kitchen, of course."
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︎ Oct 18 2014
Every time he sees lamb on the menu.
Dad: "How's the lamb? I hear it's not baaaad!"
Waiter laughs a little bit and agrees. Brother's palm hits his forehead in disbelief. Repeat at every subsequent restaurant visit at which lamb is offered.
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︎ Oct 08 2013
While browsing a restaurant menu...
I ask the waiter, "I see you have a Cajun Chicken Pasta, but I'm trying to be more conscious of where my food comes from. Do you have a cage free chicken pasta?"
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︎ Jan 22 2014
After a commercial for a children's menu
Dad: It's sad for those kids isn't it?
Me: Sad? What do you mean?
Dad: Well that they offer children as a menu!
Me: facepalm
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︎ Dec 05 2014
After finishing my meal, the waiter gave me the dessert menu.
I said, "Why did you just eat my food ?"
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︎ Aug 07 2020
Can I ask about the menu please?
The men I please are none of your business!
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︎ Aug 15 2020
I was at a restaurant and said to the waitress βExcuse me, can I ask you something about the menu please?β
She kicked me out and said βThe men I please are none of your business!β
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︎ Jul 11 2019
I was at a restaurant and said to the waitress βExcuse me, can I ask you something about the menu please?β
She kicked me out and said βThe men I please are none of your business!β
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︎ Jun 23 2019
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