Someone just threw a jar of mayonnaise at me!
I saw another coworker using the mayonnaise with my name on it from the fridge in the break room.
I said to him, “What the Hellman?”
You can shoot people with mayonnaise, but not other condiments
Your crimes will then ketchup to you.
What do you call a funny jar of mayonnaise?
Im gonna tell my kids that the Titanic was carrying a lot of mayonnaise
And that it sunk on the 5th of May which is why we commemorate the Sinko de Mayo
I recently switched from using mayonnaise to using butter for making grilled cheese sandwiches. My wife said she liked them more with the butter, but kindly asked me if it was more work this way?
I answered: "It is, but only margarinely more."
Note: this really happened.
What was invented before mayonnaise?
I went shopping at Coles to buy Mayonnaise, but they said it was illegal to buy without cabbage and carrots.
Someone threw a jar of mayonnaise at me today...
...I was like, "What the hell-man?"
Whatdya call someone drowning in mayonnaise ?????????
What’s nicer than mayonnaise?
Just caught my kid eating mayonnaise out of the jar...
My mayonnaise is trying kill me
Why didn't the mayonnaise want to go back in the fridge?
Because it saw the salad dressing
Apparently if you buy cabbage from coles supermarkets you are legally obligated to buy carrots and mayonnaise
We should enjoy Mayonnaise while we still can!
From Saturday onwards, it's gonna be Juneonnaise!
Mayonnaise a lot of good puns in this sub.
How do you call a cockney garlic mayonnaise?
Everyone knows that Old King Cole was a merry old soul, but few know about his mandate that all his subjects had to eat cabbage and mayonnaise
My 5 year old daughter said "daddy look I'm putting mayonnaise on my chips"
I said "my god you're amayonnaizing".
I have a joke about mayonnaise!
Ugh never mind. You might spread it.
What is the scientific principle which describes the movement of cabbage in mayonnaise
Making mayonnaise is hard work.
Some would even call it egg-sauce-ting.
What’s the Devil’s favorite brand of Mayonnaise?
I dropped my phone in mayonnaise today,
My 4 y.o. was eating a bit of mayonnaise that fell out of her sandwich ...
... and she goes "Dad, this is mayonazing!".
I couldn't be more proud :]
Too late I realized the new jar of discount mayonnaise felt light. When I opened it up the pristine surface collapsed into a large air pocket.
Yes it was a sinkhole de mayo.
I went to Cole's this morning to buy cabbage, apparently its a legal requirement for me to also purchase carrots and mayonnaise when purchasing cabbage.
Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England...
In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York . This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico. The Mexican people loved Mayonnaise so much and this loss was so devastating that the Mexican people declared a National day of Mourning which happens every year on the day the shipment was supposed to arrive. This day of course is May 5th or more commonly known as Sinko de Mayo.
Mexicans love mayonnaise
In fact, back in 1912 the Titanic was loaded with 1000 cases of mayonnaise that were to be delivered to Mexico after the ship briefly stopped in New York. But as we all know, the ship hit an iceberg and sank. The Mexican people were so sad they created a special day to honor the event. Sinko de Mayo.
Hey have you heard about Steven Tyler's new line of sweetened mayonnaise?
No? Well maybe you've heard the jingle "Sweet Emulsion."
Does anyone else here eat vanilla pudding out of a mayonnaise jar?
What did the mayonnaise say to the refrigerator?
Close the door, I’m dressing!
I have just spilt mayonnaise down my shirt...
what do you call a laughing mayonnaise
What do you call a laughing jar of mayonnaise?
My mayonnaise is trying kill me...
...or so my sauces tell me...
What do you call a laughing jar of mayonnaise?
WHY IS MY SINK FILLED WITH MAYONNAISE?
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