Condiment puns.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kreme_Cheese
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2018
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Condiments puns
  1. He said "You walk ahead, I'll ketchup with you." 2."Are you sure?" Asked the cop "I saw it with mayonnaise"replied the witness.
  2. The vexed cucumber said "I'm in a pickle right now."
  3. Oh! And I mustard that this is my first post on Reddit.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brijesh_962
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2019
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You can shoot people with mayonnaise, but not other condiments

Your crimes will then ketchup to you.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuperNova7039
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
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What is a cat's favourite condiment?

Mayow.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/miszlokaira
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2021
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Those small packets of ketchup are here because the big bottles didn't know what a condiment.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CatsCreepMeowt
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2021
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With the holidays near, to set a festive atmosphere at your table, be sure you have a shiny chrome plate to hold your condiment sauce. Why?

Because there is no plate like chrome for the hollandaise.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IranRPCV
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
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Whats a horse's favorite sandwich condiment?

Mayo....cause mayo-neighs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NewbieSniper
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
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What does a condiment wizard perform?

Saucery

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SackOfPotatoes420
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
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What’s a horse’s favourite condiment?

Mayo-neighs.

Courtesy of my dad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Smart-fridge20
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
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Given social distancing regulations, a ton of condiment companies are being forced to cancel July 4th campaigns like sponsored concerts, where they planned to hand out signature color sunglasses to attendees.

Bad idea, Heinz-Sight 2020.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeusJZ
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
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What condiment needs to go to the restroom the most?

Must-turd

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kblom
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
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What kind of condiment works as a laxative?

Musturd.

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πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
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What do you call a funny condiment?

A sauce of endless entertainment.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DaveTendo
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
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Wife: Remember to practice safe snacks and to use condiments

Me: Baby stop, you’re making me hungry

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Serm22
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2020
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I think I found out who invented condiments,

Her name is May Anne Hayes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Escalade1414
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2020
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What do call a condiment that raises horses?

A Ranch Hand

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πŸ‘€︎ u/richpriebejrr
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2020
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I tried to make my own condiments but, the recipes change so fast, it's hard to ketchup.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRealZy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2019
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What is a greenkeeper's favourite condiment?

Top dressing

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
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My wife despises a certain condiment

I asked if she had ever heard of the local horse impersonator? That man neighs!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrmeanmustid
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2018
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Why dose nobody tell jokes about condiments

They are ilRELLISHvant

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2019
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Where do condiments go when they get sick?

To the mayo clinic.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BackwoodsCoder
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2019
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What is a cows and a horses favorite condiment?

Moo-neighs

Thank you, I'll show myself out.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Caliboy17
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2019
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I don't fear condiments.

I relish them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wilberfarce
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2018
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What's Pac-Mans favorite condiment?

Guaca-wacka-wacka-mole

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ubibaba742
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2019
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I make art out of condiments

My latest work is a mustardpiece

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thus
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2019
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My old man used to think he was hilarious at the McDonald’s drive thru when the server asked, β€˜Any condiments?’

He always responded, β€˜Compliments? You look very nice today!’

(Yes probably a repost)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DannyGere
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2019
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What credit card do you use for buying condiments?

MustardCard

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotted_Lady
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2018
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I love to smother my burger with lots of chunky tomato, onion and garlic condiment...

I really relish it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ProfessionalEntry
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2018
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What do you say when the condiment you have with fish and chips goes away?

Tartare, sauce.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cyryoonake
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2019
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When food poisoning breaks out at the Annual Condiments Convention...

"We'll ketchup later but first I mus-turd!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CymbalTarget2327
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2018
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My dog for into the condiments last night

Now I have a Gulden retriever.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dinodomos
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2019
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What condiment was granted knighthood?

Sir Racha! (Sriracha).

As much as I don’t want to admit it, this is something I came up with (and I am a dad).

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nielmot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2017
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What do you call a Native American cancer patient with an affinity for Japanese condiments?

Chemo Sabi!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mobious411
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2018
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Do you know who is the leader in condiment city?

The Mayo

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Leonads23
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2017
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I wanted to dress as a condiment for Halloween.

But I couldn't mustard up the courage.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xfox21
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2015
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"We were getting fast food when the lady at the window said, 'Any condiments?' My dad responded, 'Compliments? You look very nice today!'”
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AshleyJack
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2017
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What are a dog's favorite condiments?

Cat soup and mouse turds.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2017
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What is an optimist's favorite condiment?

Relish.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Freklred
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2016
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What is a cat's favourite condiment?

Mayow.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CeleryHunter143
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2020
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I don't fear condiments...

I relish them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wilberfarce
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2016
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