In a freak accident the laboratory sink came to life, made its way to the mad scientist's door and knocked.

Let that sink in.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ManosVanBoom
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2020
🚨︎ report
A woman worried about the suspicious behavior of her husband decides to follow him. Instead of going to the office, she finds him in a small laboratory making soap.

Caught in the act he admits, "Honey, I've been living a lye..."

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/illinoisape
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call someone who runs around a laboratory resetting scales in the middle of an experiment?

A tare-orist.

πŸ‘︎ 47
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/etrmedia
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2016
🚨︎ report
"Why are there police at the chemistry laboratory?"

"Because all of the chemicals argon!!"

πŸ‘︎ 188
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ElevatedTreeMan
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2015
🚨︎ report
My dad, type 2 diabetic, after 11 months of suffering chemo/radiation treatment for pancreatic cancer, 5 months after he was told the surgery failed and it was terminal. Brother reads off the back of a Sweet'N Low packet "...been determined to cause cancer to laboratory animals" Dad snaps back

"Bullshit! I've been using that stuff for years and...(looks at 13" scar across his stomach from whipple procedure to remove tumors, looks back at family for effect) oh... shit..."

Never lost his great attitude towards life, family, and people in general. Always quick with a joke/dad joke until the end.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dude0311
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2017
🚨︎ report
Dadjoke at the laboratory.

I work as a lab tech in my university, and as I was preparing some bacterial streak plates for some students (mind you, we use an innoculating loop to transfer bacteria from a sample tube to plates), I said to some of the students: "what did one bacteria said to the other? Let's get looped, and go streaking."

I received an uniform look of dissapointment and a couple of facepalms from the students while I giggled at my joke. The teacher loved it though.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jesusdo
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2014
🚨︎ report
From the latest issue of Dexter's Laboratory...

http://i.imgur.com/M0hPE5W.jpg

Context: Dexter invented a machine that made the wearer's dreams come true, his wish was to get rid of his sister Deedee.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ScarySpencer
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2014
🚨︎ report
I did an experiment on flies...

There was a fly buzzing around my laboratory, so I decided to do an experiment. After 10 minutes, I was able to catch it. I set it on the table and said "Fly, fly". The fly flew away immediately after I released it. After another 10 minutes, I was able to catch it again. This time, I took a pair of tweezers and removed its wings. I said "fly, fly", but this time it didn't do anything once released. I was able to determine one thing: when you remove the wings from a fly, it becomes deaf.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chuckyocouch_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2019
🚨︎ report
A kid named Dexter

Wife: "One of my friends just named their kid Dexter. Would you ever name a kid Dexter?"

Me: "Yeah, that's a killer name!"

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mech_Wolf
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2014
🚨︎ report
What is a British scientist's favorite type of tree?

A laboratory.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheOtherAvaz
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2018
🚨︎ report
I submit to you a pun about plants in the final minutes of my reddit birthday.

So I know of this one plant. He's a sentient plant, who feels like he needs to move around more than he does (because plants can't move where they're planted on their own), and decided that he needs feet to do so.

So, the plant got a contractor to build him a laboratory around himself. He worked tirelessly for years in hopes of growing a foot he could use, but to no avail. Or, almost no avail.

He managed to finally create SOMETHING, but it wasn't much. All he could get out of all of his experiments and concoctions was a toe. Not even a real toe, a fake one.

So he has now performed...

FAUX-TOE-SYNTHESIS

(say it out loud)

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Zap-Brannigan
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2012
🚨︎ report
The hidden puns of LexisNexis

Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.

Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":

  • Bucyrus International caters to those who mine their own business.
  • It would be logical for Mr. Spock to boldly go to Vulcan International for rubber products. He might even live long and prosper -- in comfortable shoes.
  • What do manufacturer Electro-Motive Diesel (EMD) and 1970s band Grand Funk Railroad have in common? They both want you to do the locomotion!
  • Peter Piper can pick more than a peck of peppers or pickles from B&G Foods.
  • Toray Plastics America could sing "foam, foam on the range, where the polyester and polypropylene materials are made" all day.
  • Break out the Tums, because things are awfully gassy over at Air Liquide America.
  • If a tree falls in a Weyerhaeuser forest, someone is there to hear it -- and he has a chainsaw.
  • Although not a pushover, you can walk all over Wilsonart International.
  • Here's a HEICO haiku: HEICO companies/ Providing for jet engines/ In flight or on land.
  • American Italian Pasta Company (AIPC) uses its noodle in many different ways.
  • The golf industry doesn't mind when Aldila gives it the shaft.
  • Rat-a-tat-tat and a ringa-ding-ding. What's that? Answer: The sounds emanating from Pearl, one of the world's foremost makers of drums and other percussion and musical instruments.
  • Saint-Gobain Ceramics & Plastics deals powders and crystal, but there's no need to call the cops.
  • Pamida Stores Operating Company offers more small-town values than a bandwagon of Republicans on the campaign trail.
  • Like a tight end, offshore drilling contractor Transocean dreams of going deep but doesn't mind eating a little mud.
  • Rittal me this, Batman!
  • Utility Trailer Manufacturing is spreading its own brand of reefer madness.
  • Who is the Fresh Prince of Sullair?
  • If GrafTech International were a bard, it could wax poetic in an ode to the electrode.
  • When it comes to adhesives and vibration control products, LORD knows.
  • You might say that Deere & Company enjoys its customers going to seed.
  • Pfizer pfabricates pfarmaceuticals pfor quite a pfew inpfirmities.
  • Stripping is OK at Spraylat.
  • Don't think Seton is
... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2016
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.