A lot of the jokes on this sub are just terrible, but at the end of the day...
A lot of people can’t tell the difference between entomology and etymology.
I can’t find the words for how much this bugs me.
So you know Gandhi? Walked barefoot, tough feet. Fasted a lot, so he was weak. Prayed a lot, real spiritual. Unfortunately, suffered from bad breath.
In other words, he was a super-calloused fragile mystic suffering from halitosis.
Did you hear about the guy who had lots of phone sex?
Plant Got Back - Sir Mix-a-lot
UFO's have been in the news a lot lately but no one seems to care.
Frankly, I think it must be over most people's heads.
What do you call a fruit with lots of emotion?
Not to brag, but I experimented a lot with drugs and sex when I was in college.
Unfortunately I was part of the control group.
I know I tell a lot of knock knock jokes
What do you call someone that visits a lot of bars?
My friend doesn't want anyone else to know that he used to play board games a lot.
He's had a checkered past.
I like jokes with a lot of soul in them.
I have a pencil that used to belong to William Shakespeare. He chewed it a lot.
Now, I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B!
What reptile uses the phone a lot?
Been coughing up black feathers a lot recently.
The doctors think I might have Corvid.
A woman is a lot like a bar.
Liquor in the front and poker in the back.
What’s big, grey, and asks a lot of questions?
There's been a lot of people who aren't Dad's making Dad jokes on here recently. If you're not a Dad you shouldn't be making Dad Jokes.
This post might be a little ballsy. And if it gets a lot of attention, I might get cocky.
A lot of conflicts in the Wild West could have been avoided....
....had the Cowboy architects just made their towns big enough for everyone.
I recently joined a support group for people who talk a lot.
We call ourselves On and On Anon.
People give me a lot of trouble for being a necromancer
Can't a guy just raise a family in peace?
I've been building a lot of LEGO sets with my kids lately.
I'm happy to say I've been having an AFOL time!
My son grows a lot of fur and manufactures products of art or craft on nights when the moon is full...
I have a lot of unemployment jokes
A lot of people think that crop circles are caused by alien aircrafts.
But, I think they are done by cereal killers.
Why do police talk to bankers a lot?
Because they are "persons of interest."
Jay Leno went to Morgan Freeman’s house and had a lot of drinks. Leno suddenly started to urinate on Freeman’s carpet. Freeman was furious and ran after him as he kept on urinating. The banker next door saw the whole thing and decided to start a bank...
Kids, that is the true story of how Jay-pee-Morgan-chase was named
What do you call a fish that knows a lot of organized information?
I learned a lot about belly buttons in college...
I went to the Navel Academy
If you change word "Love" to "Lunch", you can totally change the meaning of a lot of songs.
All You Need Is Lunch
Do You Believe In Life After Lunch
Lunch In An Elevator
You can learn a lot of things when making a rose garden
I learnt that I don’t feel like making a rose garden any time soon.
What's a Pokémon that sneezes a lot?
Someone dug a plethora of d’earth. Now I’ve got a hole lot of nothing.
My wife uses nasal spray a lot, to the point we think she is addicted to it. I tried to send her to rehab, but she didn't like it.
She said it was just a bunch of stuffy people.
Lots of people know about Harley Quinn but very few people have heard about her twin brother who was stillborn...
I have a lot of patience
Cause I never use any of it
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "You are in here a lot, do you think you have a drinking problem?"
The horse says, "I don't think so," then disappears into nothing.
This is the point in time when all the philosophy students in the audience begin to giggle, as they are familiar with the philosophical proposition of Cogito ergo sum, or I think, therefore, I am. The classic philosophy put forward by René Descartes.
But to explain the concept aforehand would be putting Descartes before the horse.
During my dental appointment, I found out that I had a lot of cavities
Turned out to be my dental dis-appointment
I've noticed that a lot of math teachers don't want to be mean...
They strive to be above average.
What do you call a truck driver who knows a lot about the truck but can't read or write fluently?
How do you call something that makes a lot of sense for people who know how to count if you dont?
My dad has been going through a lot of hard ships lately…
He dismantles them for a living.
A bread demon would bring a lot of pain.
A lot of people think that crop circles are done by alien aircrafts.
But I think they are done by cereal killers.
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