Redhead Jack

You remember the story of Jack and the Beanstock? Imagine if Jack had red hair.

Hints:

Fee-fi-fo-fum,
I smell the blood of an Englishman,
Be he alive, or be he dead
I'll grind his bones to make my bread.

This one is a bit dark.

Ok, too subtle perhaps:

>!Outside of the U.S., red heads are generally called "gingers". Thus, redhead Jack is a ginger, and if the giant makes his bread from Jack's bones, he has made bread out of a ginger, which makes it...!<

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordRybec
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2021
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I have a friend named Jack who can talk to vegetables

Jack and the beans talk!!!

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pathrado
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2021
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Jack and Jill went up the hill

to file a complaint about the location of the well.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/greedydita
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2021
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Did You Know That Dr. John Dolittle has a vegan brother named Jack?

He can make beans talk.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/True-Ad-2455
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2021
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Why is Jack in a box?

Because he was a square!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ironmanmason
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2021
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Lumber jack
πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/South_Bathroom
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2021
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Did you know I used to be a Lumber Jack? It was only during one summer, though.

I just couldn't, hack it.

Because I didn't have the, chops.

So they, gave me the axe.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
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Jack: How’s it going? Beans: Pretty good

Jack and the beans talk

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jnr_jinx
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
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Jack was greeted by several people this morning.

He got hijacked.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CheeHL
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2021
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Do you know what happened to Jack Ma after he criticized the Chinese Government?

[removed]

πŸ‘︎ 92
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cthulhouette
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
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Do you know mike and jack?

They had a son who went on to become a famous musical star. michal-jack-son

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πŸ‘€︎ u/blizzard_Wolf101
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
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Jack Daniels
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Firespark7
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
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Which is the music instrument that Samurai Jack despises the most?

The Akustic Guitar.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xoriatis71
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2021
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What do you get when you divide the circumference of a Jack-o-lantern by its diameter?

Pumpkin Pi

πŸ‘︎ 329
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πŸ‘€︎ u/02K30C1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
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How do you fix a broken jack-o-lantern?

A pumpkin patch

πŸ‘︎ 125
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JDangerboy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
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Just watched an episode of 24 where Jack Bauer had to decide to either help the cartel transfer cannabis crystals into the U.S within 24 hours or they would blow up the Gulf Coast states.

...It was Kief or Southernland.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AquamarineCheetah
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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What did Jack yell when he angrily chopped down his favorite tree in The Nightmare Before Christmas?

Tiiimmmmmmbbeeerrrrrrr-ton

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Obrocheetah
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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Not a Dad, but my Dad made this joke. "What do you call Jack the Ripper with a butter knife?"

A dull evening.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/J-Ray15
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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How do you mend a broken Jack o' Lantern?

With a pumpkin patch.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EmperorOfFabulous
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
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How much does Jack from the Tim Burton movie weigh?

A Skelling-Ton

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kperezrocket
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
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I was out walking the dogs today, and a friend asked me if they were Jack Russells ?

Nah...they're mine, I said.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
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My friend Jack Glasscock could never sneak up on people.

Everyone could always see when he was coming.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DAMWrite1
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
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Our two buddies Bean and Jack was arrested yesterday for harassing women.

Jack and the Bean stalk.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
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My boyfriend’s cat, Jack, recently discovered the Amazon box lying on the floor. He jumped in and started playing in it. I guess you can say....

He’s Jack in the box.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/itsmeeeskai
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
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Was Jack Black? Was Barry white? Was George Strait? Was Marvin Gay?

Sure makes Stevie Wonder.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2019
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Bob:.. I went to see my doctor about having a vasectomy Jack:.. " That's a pretty big decision, have you talked it over with your family?"

Bob:..."Yes, they're in favor of it, 14 to 3..."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
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Hi Jack
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tintorion
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2020
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I know it sounds cheesy, but when I’m with my friends Colby and jack...

I feel grate!

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
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Why was R-Kelly be a bad dealer at black jack?

He kept hitting on 17.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ivytheblindhusky
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2020
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What noise does a bird make when he jacks off?

flap flap flap flap flap flap flap flap flap flap flap flap flap flap

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gracewaring
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
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I really wish I knew who removed the jack from under the car I was working on.

The suspension is killing me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2020
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What does Jack Frost use to determine if it's cold enough to start hanging icicles?

His test-icles

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πŸ‘€︎ u/steeple_fun
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2020
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Why is the head sister usually known as a jack-of-all-trades?

Because she's a master of nun.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2020
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Jack sparrow
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eatadickandgodie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
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JACK-rabbit
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rileyt0413
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2019
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My friend Jack claims he can communicate with vegetables.

Jack and the beans talk!

πŸ‘︎ 655
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Texgymratdad
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2021
🚨︎ report
My friend Jack says he can communicate with vegetables.

Jack and the beans talk.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DoomRulz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2021
🚨︎ report
My friend Jack claims that he can communicate with vegetables.

Jack and the beans talk.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sw33tcheeks427
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
🚨︎ report
My friend Jack claims he can communicate with vegetables.

Jack and the beans talk.

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2021
🚨︎ report
My friend Jack claims that he can communicate with vegetables.

Jack and the beans talk.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you divide the circumference of a Jack-o-lantern by its diameter

Pumpkin Pi

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/varunmohan02
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you fix a broken jack-o’-lantern?

With a pumpkin patch

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MangoAway17
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I know a guy, Jack, who can talk to vegetables

Jack and the beans talk

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you fix a damaged jack-o-lantern?

You use a pumpkin patch.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
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TIL Jack can communicate with vegetables...

Jack and the beans talk...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2020
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