Jake Fromm State Farm
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iLaird
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2019
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Two friends, Jake and Joke, went camping

One evening Jake stole Joke’s bag and hid it just at the edge of a forest nearby. Next morning he told him what he had done and to be careful not to go far into the forest since it’s riddled with bears once you go into the deep forest part and you are sure to get eaten.

Since Joke didn’t return for a long period of time, Jake went looking for him. However, he couldn’t find his friend. Jake, feeling remorse, called the police and told them what had happened.

Unfortunately, the police were no help and the case started to gain traction with the media. Reporters from all the nearby villages wanted to be the one to crack the case and find Joke.

Jake slowly spiraled into despair, not knowing what happened, thinking he killed his friend and all he wanted was some answers, buying all the local newspapers every day hoping to read something new and gain some answers.

Day after day the event slowly slipped out of his mind as time went by with no new information whatsoever. Until one day, Jake decided to put this whole thing behind him and found a therapist to help him move on.

The therapy was a huge success, he completed all but one meetings and he had just one more to go. He arrived on time as always, but the therapist’s office was locked this time. Jake checked his mobile phone and he saw a message from his therapist that he’s gonna be a few minutes late and that he should sit down in the waiting room, relax, and wait for him.

Jake, as any reasonable person, sat down in the waiting room and started waiting. It was at this moment that his phone battery ran out and he became bored, very bored, so he picked up a random newspaper from the table in front of him and then he saw it, the headline he was waiting for for so long:

Joke gone too far.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/murlockerLOL
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2020
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Jake, Alex, and Matt are preparing for a wedding. Jake tells Alex, β€œI tried on a new suit today.” Alex responds, β€œHas Matt?”

Jake says, β€œNo, just a regular suit.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iamayurt
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
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You better stop it jake
πŸ‘︎ 53
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πŸ‘€︎ u/a_sr199
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2019
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In the movie Avatar, ever notice Jake was in the wrong branch of the military?

That's why he joined the Na'vi.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Torley_
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2019
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Jake wanted to rock climb but quit when learning how to descend with ropes

He found the idea rappel-ent

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RamblingScholar
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2018
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They should really name a mineral after Jake's comedy partner.

Amirite?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PaltosMcOlafson
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2018
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Jake from Vsauce 3 just made a pun worth sharing. It's a shame his location wasn't "Toyko" though.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TimisD
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2014
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Youtuber Jake Paul is most known among teenage girls. One might say he's a minor celebrity.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/silentpl
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2017
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My mom jakes dadjokes

So I usually get the mail for my family, but one day I was fetching the mail, and a lizard came out of the mailbox. Since I am TERRIFIED of lizards, I naturally freaked and refused to fetch the mail ever again.

So last week my mom was getting the mail, and when she came back in, she said, "aghr, there WAS a lizard in the mail today!" and then she shows me a Geico advertisement.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aghr
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2013
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"Jake, would you quit using your goddamn plasma grenades!!!"

"What can I say man, it's my schtick!"

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DaintySload
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2013
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Dad Joke Research Center

My 14yo son drew this comic on his whiteboard, someone said I ought to post it here.

https://www.reddit.com/r/JakesDoorComics/comments/j2f29l/dad_joke_research_center/

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/alanstanwyk
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
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This sub is a joke and here's why

"why"

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/seamachine
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2017
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ALWAYS read the label!

Jake returns home after a long days work, finds the cupboards bare and thinks "that's strange we went shopping this week". He goes to the garbage can to find jars of peanut butter, yogurt, pill bottles, assorted food they've just bought discarded. He asks "Honey why is all the food in the garbage?" he finds her watching TV in the living room she says "Roger is dead", stunned he runs to the backyard to find their pet seal dead. He runs inside shocked and says "wow that's terrible, but why did you throw out all the food?!" she replies "They containers all said DO NOT USE IF SEAL IS BROKEN".

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ph00p
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
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My son asked today β€œ Dad, are people in Spain cannibals?”

I answered β€œWhy would you think that?”

He said β€œWell, my teacher said they mostly live off of tourists there”.

πŸ‘︎ 72
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kristjanrunars
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2019
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Bad collection of puns

Remember, only come here for cringe, Because this is the ultimate Pun Collection.

  1. What does McDonalds say to the tray when it betrays them? "You traytor!"
  2. Does Spider Man live in an egg? Because i heard he lives in New Yolk.
  3. These puns aren't very eggciting.
  4. lettuce taco bout it?
  5. I will asalt you with puns!
  6. What if your problem involves telling a phone? JUST TELEPHONE ALREADY!
  7. What if Jake stands close to Johnny when talking? He Here's Johnny!
  8. Stop asalting my hard with your judging pursesonality!
  9. I'll play the Yandere Simulater later.
  10. You herd about that show? It's called Spongebob Swearpants.
  11. Why did you diss stew me? (kinda hard to get, but just say it out loud.)
  12. What does someone say sarcastically in the middle of an intense war that was caused by someone? TANKS TO YOU!
  13. What type of plane that loves bounce? Boeing!
  14. How many money did we owe? It said it on the letter right? I don't know, you should've reddit!

I'm sorry for the cringe...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Titanium_Steel
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
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Check your spam folder
πŸ‘︎ 168
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πŸ‘€︎ u/justlooking250
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2018
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My cousin Elle got married to Menno Peters; so now I call them the alphabet couple...

... Elle & Menno P. ... If they ever have kids, I'm lobbying hard for Jake and Kay.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2020
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Home for the holidays and playing Monopoly with dad...checks for counterfeits.
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zkill
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2013
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Oh! So you like metal? Then name 3 blacksmiths.

Meirl: Will, Jaden and willow

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AviAdlakha
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2018
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What will happen when Satan will put videos on youtube?

They will get demonitized.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tamer_
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2018
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A guy throwing Up (from r/shittyreactiongifs)
πŸ‘︎ 138
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πŸ‘€︎ u/celt1299
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2015
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Nearly all the funniest jokes at Edinburgh Fringe is dad jokes

The winner and the 9 runner ups: "I keep randomly shouting out 'Broccoli' and 'Cauliflower' - I think I might have florets"

  • "Someone stole my antidepressants. Whoever they are, I hope they're happy" - Richard Stott
  • "What's driving Brexit? From here it looks like it's probably the Duke of Edinburgh" - Milton Jones
  • "A cowboy asked me if I could help him round up 18 cows. I said, 'Yes, of course. - That's 20 cows'" - Jake Lambert
  • "A thesaurus is great. There's no other word for it" - Ross Smith
  • "Sleep is my favourite thing in the world. It's the reason I get up in the morning" - Ross Smith
  • "I accidentally booked myself onto an escapology course; I'm really struggling to get out of it" - Adele Cliff
  • "After learning six hours of basic semaphore, I was flagging - Richard Pulsford
  • "To be or not to be a horse rider, that is Equestrian" - Mark Simmons
  • "I've got an Eton-themed advent calendar, where all the doors are opened for me by my dad's contacts" - Ivo Graham
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2019
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Did you hear about the guy who had his entire left side cut off in an accident?

He's alright now.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nyquill81
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2017
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My son just walked in and asked me to call his phone.

I called "JAKE'S PHONE!!"

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/timmy5toes
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2019
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I should try my Geiger counter!

A few years back my mom was having some kind of stomoach problem, my dad took her to the doctor where she drank some kind of radioactive dye for some kind of diagnosis. My dad comes into their home-office where I am fixing their computer. "Hey Jake, C'mere" he says. He's holding a Geiger counter he has from who knows where. My mom is laying in her bed and he gets it closer and closer to her stomach and it goes off, flashing red! I am dying, laughing so hard then he says "Looks like we've got one hot mama" My mom just rolls her eyes and groans. One of the most hilarious things I have ever seen in my life.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tacticalcraptical
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2017
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My 7 year old's 1st joke with the f word...

Jake: Effingham is a funny name for a street.

Me: You know, I've kinda always thought that too.

Jake: Yeah, it's like the worst kind of pig there is.

Me: That's f-ing halarious.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dontautotuneme
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2016
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Dad made a cat joke...

This just happened a minute ago...

Dad: "Jake, what are you wearing?

(silence)

Cat-khis!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/navy1117
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2015
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Every time I miss a call from my dad.

Whenever I return a missed call from my dad this exchange goes on.

Me: Hi. Did you call me, Dad?

Dad: No, I called you Jake! Ha ha ha.

For fuck's sake.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kakerules
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2014
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Listening to the Orioles radio broadcast:

The broadcaster, Joe Angel, said in reference to the Tampa Rays starting pitcher Jake Odorizzi:

"When he retires, he should start a business selling deodorant and call it Odor-Eazy."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/esvadude
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2014
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My Facebook friend got granddad-joked

Her post translates as follows:

"Grandpa Jake and I sitting on the sofa quietly when the electricity finally returns.

Me: Oh, finally! Grandpa Jake: Oh...it's brown in now. Me: confused Grandpa: No more brownout grins"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ramboost007
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2014
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