I'm so glad our Billy inherited his mother's intelligence
...and I got to keep mine.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Feb 26 2020
I suspected my sister's butter had developed intelligence after she took it to school in her lunch box.
Sure enough, it was on her roll.
π︎ 3
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︎ Feb 15 2020
Someone should start a business intelligence non-governmental organization.
π︎ 3
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︎ Jan 01 2020
You take away the looks, money, intelligence, charm and success
there's no real difference between me and George Clooney.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jul 11 2019
What do you call an intelligence test that asks you questions specifically about Japanese poems?
π︎ 31
π
︎ Oct 24 2018
If intelligence was a currency...
Would it be called "common cents"?
π︎ 66
π
︎ Mar 06 2015
I've heard talking to yourself is a sign of intelligence.
I've told myself that dozens of times.
π︎ 39
π
︎ Mar 06 2018
What do you get when you cross a wall unit with artificial intelligence?
π︎ 18
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︎ Feb 23 2018
Why can't incontinent people work at an intelligence agency?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Aug 29 2017
I just heard the first song made by artificial intelligence
You could say it was a real Siri-nade
π︎ 5
π
︎ Sep 26 2016
Dad compliments my intelligence
Let's say I solved a fairly simple task, Dad tells me "wow you're a fart smeller, err, a smart feller."
He's been doing this to me for like 20 years now.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Apr 16 2014
For Intelligent, Down-to-Earth People.
If we got rid of the Earth's core,
it would be dismantling to our infrastructure.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 22 2020
Whats an intelligent visitor with a typo?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Dec 16 2020
My friend thinks drinking beer makes him more intelligent.
I donβt think that makes my Budweiser.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Oct 15 2020
Crows are very intelligent birds, they even go out for drinks from time to time.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Sep 25 2020
JFK was an extremely intelligent man
His brain was so big that it covered his entire car.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Sep 21 2020
What do you call an intelligent wish fulfiller?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Aug 25 2020
Who was the least intelligent character in the Harry Potter series?
π︎ 6
π
︎ May 08 2020
Intelligent
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Mar 29 2019
I have created the world's first artificially intelligent pottery!
π︎ 16
π
︎ Apr 06 2020
Half the people you know are below average.
I know the math is correct, but thatβs just mean.
π︎ 99
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︎ Jul 22 2020
Son: Dad, I don't know any synonyms for "intelligent".
π︎ 7
π
︎ Oct 13 2019
What beverage makes cannabis more intelligent?
π︎ 12
π
︎ Jun 21 2019
This explains the early-20th century intelligent look
π︎ 53
π
︎ Sep 21 2018
As an Aussie, I feel sorry for my American friends and their government
After all, theyβre still stuck in the last decade
π︎ 259
π
︎ Dec 31 2019
What happened when Einstein smoked pot for the first time?
Mankind attained its highest form of intelligence.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Aug 02 2020
I just read in the newspaper: "Painting stolen from art museum found by a set of dustbins."
Those dustbins must be very intelligent.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Jul 17 2020
What do you call a blonde in a brunette wig
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jul 11 2020
What's the smartest mountain in the world?
π︎ 34
π
︎ Feb 15 2020
Scientists have recently discovered a new species of dinosaur that's really intelligent.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 24 2018
Any time I do something halfway intelligent, my dad saysβ¦
"Wow, you're a fart smella...I mean smart fella!"
π︎ 81
π
︎ Apr 20 2017
What's the least intelligent fish?
π︎ 33
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︎ Feb 02 2018
A little boy went up to his father and asked:
Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from?" The father replied, "Well, son, you must have got it from your mother, cuase I still have mine!"
π︎ 21
π
︎ Apr 07 2020
Enrico's two mallards wonder where all the intelligent aliens are.
Fermiβs pair-oβ-ducks
π︎ 8
π
︎ Mar 01 2017
What do you call 3.14 intelligent cephalopods?
π︎ 33
π
︎ Sep 12 2016
What do you call an intelligent military machine?
π︎ 13
π
︎ Feb 08 2017
99.9% of people are idiots
Fortunately I belong to the 1% of intelligent people
π︎ 14
π
︎ Apr 05 2020
Increasing security
π︎ 8
π
︎ Aug 02 2019
Her: Why are you talking to yourself?
Me: Sometimes I need expert advice.
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Mar 23 2018
Hear theyβve made a new artificially intelligent Oreo?
π︎ 17
π
︎ Feb 28 2017
I started a business building Yachts in my attic
Sails are through the roof.
π︎ 701
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︎ Nov 17 2018
My wife bought a pumice foot stone the other day, but I made her return it.
I asked her never to bring pedi files into our house again.
π︎ 31
π
︎ Aug 29 2019
Words of wisdom
Intelligence is knowing tomatoes are fruits but wisdom is not putting them in a fruit salad
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jan 02 2020
I went to a vampire school yesterday.
Children were so intelligent, they have a bright future ahead.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Feb 10 2020
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