Her personality is like a box of Tide
All it does is deter gents
It's easy to convince ladies not to eat Tide Pods
But its harder to deter gents
When are rip tides dangerous?
Current-ly
You're welcome, I'll be here all week!
My wife said she'll leave me if I don't stop the laundry puns
So from today I'm detergent to be better.
The tide ebbed as the moon set in the west...
I made a mental note to pick up more detergent next time I'm in town.
Oh, How the Tides Have Turned
But in what paper? The Tides?
Nothing I can do about it
How do hippies stop tsunamis?
They wear tide-die!
EDIT: I know it’s not exactly the dryest humor but I still thought it was fun.
So today my five-year-old daughter made me proud...
She was eating watermelon, and she wanted to know how much it cost. (She's obsessed with prices lately.) I asked her how much she thought it cost, and she said, "I don't know, a melon dollars?"
When the budget for Christmas tree is tide
Getting ladies to stop eating Tide pods was relatively easy.
But for whatever reason, it was much more difficult to deter gents.
If the Super Bowl went into overtime, does that mean the first 4 quarters were just a really long commercial since the game was Tide?
I really hope Tide had another commercial ready just in case.
Edit: Thank you for the Reddit Gold, kind stranger! My first!
What do mermaids wash their fins with?
Why did the Eskimo do laundry in tide?
Because it was too damn cold out tide.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
I’ll take that ban now
Do you know why eskimos wash their clothes in tide?
Because it's too cold out tide (outside)
Why does the guitarist for Megadeth always carry a tide stick?
There is a mysterious body of water where every wave is the same height, only one type of fish is ever caught there, and the tides come in and out at the same time every day.
It’s called the Redundant-Sea.
What did the moon say to the ocean?
My next door neighbor and I are good friends, so we decided to share our water supply.
I use to be addicted to tide pods.
There's a rumour going around about two waves racing to the beach. Can you guess which one won?
How does poseidon get his robes so white?
Just going to have to wash my hands off this one!
Oh, how the Tides have turned.
I’ve noticed I can tell when the ocean is smoking pot lately.
I’ve noticed I can tell when the ocean is smoking pot lately. How can I tell? When I see that the Tide is High.
Don’t know if this counts as a dad joke.
When are rip tides a problem?
I hear it's easy to get ladies not to eat Tide pods. It's more difficult to deter gents, though.
It’s easy to deter ladies from eating tide pods
But it’s more difficult to deter gents
It is easy to stop ladies from eating tide pods
But it's hard to deter gents
Why does Santa wash his clothes in Tide?
Because it’s too cold outtide.
I hear it's easy to get ladies not to eat Tide pods. It's more difficult to deter gents, though.
Why do Eskimos wash their clothes in tide?
Because it’s too cold out tide
I used to be addicted to Tide Pods,
It’s easy to prevent women from eating tide pods
But it’s harder to deter gents
You know why Eskimos wash their clothes in Tide?
Because it's too cold OUT Tide.
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
