Oh how the tides have turned.
A good clean joke for you.
Ughh..shut up and bill my purchase...
Emphasis on laundry rotation
- Dad, explain the tides to me?
- Well, first of all, there's sponges!
There's a new musical out called "The Mystery of Tide Pods"
Apparently it's a Soap Opera.
It's easy to convince ladies not to eat Tide Pods
But its harder to deter gents
Do you know who lives outside of a sandcastle?
Her personality is like a box of Tide
All it does is deter gents
Why did the boat float away?
It gave into pier pressure.
When are rip tides dangerous?
Current-ly
You're welcome, I'll be here all week!
How does a mermaid wash her tail?
What do you call laundry detergent on the top shelf?
Oh, How the Tides Have Turned
But in what paper? The Tides?
The tide ebbed as the moon set in the west...
I made a mental note to pick up more detergent next time I'm in town.
Know why they use knots instead of miles in the ocean?
Because they've got to keep the ocean tide.
If the Super Bowl went into overtime, does that mean the first 4 quarters were just a really long commercial since the game was Tide?
I really hope Tide had another commercial ready just in case.
Edit: Thank you for the Reddit Gold, kind stranger! My first!
Nothing I can do about it
When the budget for Christmas tree is tide
Getting ladies to stop eating Tide pods was relatively easy.
But for whatever reason, it was much more difficult to deter gents.
My wife said she'll leave me if I don't stop the laundry puns
So from today I'm detergent to be better.
So today my five-year-old daughter made me proud...
She was eating watermelon, and she wanted to know how much it cost. (She's obsessed with prices lately.) I asked her how much she thought it cost, and she said, "I don't know, a melon dollars?"
Why did the Eskimo do laundry in tide?
Because it was too damn cold out tide.
I use to be addicted to tide pods.
Do you know why eskimos wash their clothes in tide?
Because it's too cold out tide (outside)
Why does the guitarist for Megadeth always carry a tide stick?
There is a mysterious body of water where every wave is the same height, only one type of fish is ever caught there, and the tides come in and out at the same time every day.
It’s called the Redundant-Sea.
Oh, how the Tides have turned.
They could've cleared that ship from the Suez Canal much faster, if they just would've filled the waterway with detergent
A rising Tide lifts all boats
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
I’ll take that ban now
My next door neighbor and I are good friends, so we decided to share our water supply.
When are rip tides a problem?
I hear it's easy to get ladies not to eat Tide pods. It's more difficult to deter gents, though.
It’s easy to deter ladies from eating tide pods
But it’s more difficult to deter gents
It is easy to stop ladies from eating tide pods
But it's hard to deter gents
I used to be addicted to Tide Pods,
It’s easy to prevent women from eating tide pods
But it’s harder to deter gents
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