Insolia Puns

Signore e signori, bentornati! Anche stasera siamo tutti riuniti per assistere al finale di stagione della prova di resistenza più difficile della nostra vita: chi vincerà la 71esima edizione del festival e perché proprio Ermal Meta? Scopriamolo insieme in questo ultimo grande appuntamento culturale.

Avete tempo fino a stanotte per aggiungere la vostra preferenza alla classifica ufficiale di r/Italy quindi fatevi avanti! Willie Peyote lotta ormai da 3 giorni per mantenere il gradino più alto del podio: fino all'ultimo secondo tutto può cambiare!

E grazie a tutti per la viva partecipazione di questa settimana: siamo stati fantastici ❤

📺 GUIDA TV

Ospiti della Finale del Festival di Sanremo l’attrice e cantante Serena Rossi, la giornalista Giovanna Botteri e la cantante Tecla Insolia in qualità di co-conduttrici. Sul palco anche gli ospiti fissi Achille Lauro e Zlatan Ibrahimović.

Attesi anche una lunga serie di ospiti musicali: Ornella Vanoni, Francesco Gabbani, Riccardo Fogli con Michele Zarrillo e Paolo Vallesi, Umberto Tozzi e Dardust. Sul palco dell'Ariston previsti anche gli sportivi Alberto Tomba e Federica Pellegrini.

Diversamente da quanto comunicato in settimana, Simona Ventura non sarà ospite della Finale in quanto positiva al Covid-19.

🏆 COME SI SCEGLIE IL VINCITORE?

Questa sera tutte e 26 le canzoni saranno votate dagli spettatori con il televoto. La media tra le percentuali di voto ottenute durante la serata e quelle ottenute nelle serate precedenti, dalle votazioni di Giuria Demoscopica, Sala Stampa e Orchestrali, determinerà la classifica definitiva delle ventisei canzoni.

🕔ORARIO DI FINE PREVISTO: 02:35

🎵 LA SCALETTA

1. Ghemon con Momento Perfetto
2. Gaia con Cuore Amaro
3. Irama con La genesi del tuo colore
4. Gio Evan con Arnica
5. Ermal Meta con Un milione di cose da dirti
6. Fulminacci con Santa Marinella
7. Francesco Renga con Quando trovo te
8. Extraliscio feat. Davide Toffolo con Bianca Luce Nera
9. Colapesce Dimartino con Musica Leggerissima
10. Malika Ayane con Ti piaci così
11. Francesca Michielin e Fedez con Chiamami per nome
12. Willie Peyote con Mai dire mai (la locura)
13. Orietta Berti con Quando ti sei innamorato
14. Arisa con Potevi fare di più
15. *Bugo

Phil

Sudden Lee

Go post NSFW jokes somewhere else. If I can't tell my kids this joke, then it is not a DAD JOKE.

If you feel it's appropriate to share NSFW jokes with your kids, that's on you. But a real, true dad joke should work for anyone's kid.

Mods... If you exist... Please, stop this madness. Rule #6 should simply not allow NSFW or (wtf) NSFL tags. Also, remember that MINORS browse this subreddit too? Why put that in rule #6, then allow NSFW???

Please consider changing rule #6. I love this sub, but the recent influx of NSFW tagged posts that get all the upvotes, just seem wrong when there are good solid DAD jokes being overlooked because of them.

Thank you,

A Dad.

So far nobody has given me a straight answer

..... Will get a reward.

Well, toucan play at that game.

Windows

Martin Freeman, and Andy Serkis.

They also play roles in Lord of the Rings.

I guess that makes them the Tolkien white guys.

She said apple-lutely

'Eye-do'

This is my first post pls don't kill me lol.

The people in the comment section is why I love this subreddit!!

Cred once again my sis wants credit lol

Keep in mind, my son is 4 years old, so everything is an original to him.

I had to work late into the evening yesterday, and he was just going to bed when I got home. I had left home for the office nearly 14 hours prior, had a long day, lots of meetings, traffic, etc.

When I walked through the door, I was exhausted, run down, and starving. My wife hugged me and asked how my day was, and I replied, "Done. It was a good day, but has got me exhausted. I just want to grab a bite and go to bed. I'm hungry."

From my son's bedroom, I hear him shout, "Hi Hungry! Nice to meet you!"

Not only did it make me laugh, but I completely forgot about how hungry and tired I was. I went to his bedroom, and we laughed together about it. It was exactly what I needed.

Edit: Thanks for all the awards, kind strangers! I'll let my son know y'all enjoyed his joke too!

I heard parents named their children lance a lot.

First post please don't kill me

Edit: i went to sleep and now my inbox is dead, thank you kind strangers for the awards!

Japan.

"No, the regular kind!" I laughed.

second hand stores!

it's Hans free now..

Old Neeeeiiiiighvy

A buck-an-ear!

I Thank ye kind Matey for the booty! I be truly overwhelmed! Thank you!

Holy cow! Thank you everyone for the upvotes and awards! I wasn’t expecting this!

He should have a good vowel movement. His next diaper change could spell disaster though.

and not:

Making it all the way home and realizing that they forgot one of the containers:

Riceless

That was the punchline

It’s for Hispanic attacks

Without missing a beat he asks "Daddy, do you know how much room you need to grow Fungi like that?"

I did not know.

So he tells me "as Mushroom as possible!"

So proud.

Feyonce

He was so brave and even tried to encourage us, the family around him, with his last breaths. He kept whispering to us to Be Positive.

He said, “Change the batteries in your hearing aid”.

She was pretty mad when I only picked seven up

10+10 is twenty and 11+11 is twenty too

So far no one has given me a straight answer.