BR EAK ING NE WS....'Bill Gates has agreed to pay for the finishing of Trumps Wall."

(on the condition he gets to install Windows in it)

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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I recently watched "Nosferatu" for the first time. Interesting. Now, I'm checking out "Nosfera 2: New Berlin-ings".
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stumpjungle
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
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I hope they don't spend all their time medic-ing around.
πŸ‘︎ 117
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aryan_Modi
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2019
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Quick aside. If admiral ackbar contracted a minnow-scule amount of salmon-ella poisson-ing while tuna-ing his guitar on his carp-et, would he instead need to use his bass tonight?
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/joker-here
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
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She had an a-lure-ing smile
πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cinnobun
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2019
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You’ve got to be kid-ing me
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Balyeet46
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2019
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Seen on my first day work ing at the post office.
πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Robots_Killed_Me
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2018
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I was waiting ages for my book on herb based erotica to arrive and it finally came today. It’s about f***ing thyme.
πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Crippsyuk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2019
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My dad's amazing driving advice to my sister: "I can replace any mailbox you hit. If you collide with a cop car, I've got a good attorney. If you run over a nun, God will forgive you. But if you hit my truck, you better leave the f***ing country."
πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iwillhavethat
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2018
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Corn-based agriculture is a-maize-ing
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2017
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β€œHey son, can you hurry it up in the bathroom? I’m Little Drummer Boy-ing”

β€œI’ve gotta take a dump-a dump dump!”

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thegreatjamoco
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2018
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speΒ·lunkΒ·ing

Two guys walk up to huge hole in the ground. One says, "What a huge cave." The other says, "No, it's mine."

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2017
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Why do Pirates have a reputation for "aaarrr"-ing. (x-post /r/history ...kind of)

Because they got tired of queuing and moved on

(actual referenced post)

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chairfairy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2017
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I told my wife she looked a-maize-ing.

She said I was just corny.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/childishidealism
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2016
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My Mom's Caption: "We're ketchup-ing on Christmas decorating." (x-post:Pics)

http://imgur.com/tj5HDA9

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SlowBen
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2015
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Now here's a dad who's not just loaf-ing around!
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jenbenfoo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2013
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Out dad-ing my husband...

I was planning my to do list for next week, and I said "I want to do this, but I don't know how to plan it."

He said, "Well, I don't know how to moon it".

I shook my head, and told him he should have said "I don't know how to comet."

He's got a lot to learn...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/emgwill
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2014
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