Im left all a loan
πŸ‘οΈŽ 9k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DefNotInTheOven
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 03 2020
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Im looking for a joke about carpentry.

Does anyone know one that woodwork?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 67
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Thecobs
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 16 2021
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When people find out im a bad electrician ...

... they are usually shocked

πŸ‘οΈŽ 65
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Lord_Double_D
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 13 2021
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*howls aggressively* "IM GOIN ALL IN BABY"
πŸ‘οΈŽ 160
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/_thunder_struck_
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 11 2021
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im sorry
πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MezoN3D7
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 13 2021
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Im kinda afraid of Monkeys

I'm afraid they'll go ape on me

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/redditEATSinstagram
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 10 2021
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Just wanna say im a huge fan
πŸ‘οΈŽ 33
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HamadRajput
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 07 2020
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Im quivering in my boots
πŸ‘οΈŽ 133
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bloodywolfeyes
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 07 2020
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Im not wearing glasses anymore

I've seen enough

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CallMeKingCheez
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 05 2021
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Im tired of being misunderstood and I’m going to get straight to the point!

I’m drawing a line in the sand.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HappyRamenMan
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 16 2021
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Im gonna make a joke about a hoe girlfriend.

Shit, never mind the thought left me.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Desperate-Leather955
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 02 2021
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Im gonna tell my kids that the Titanic was carrying a lot of mayonnaise

And that it sunk on the 5th of May which is why we commemorate the Sinko de Mayo

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cannedsand3
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 05 2021
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so anyway im switching my major to marketing...

just a few hours ago my brother was talking about buying cinnamon rolls from his english teacher who bakes and sells it on instagram as a side hustle and i said IF SHES AN ENGLISH TEACHER SHE SHOULD CALL THEM SYNONYM ROLLS and honestly im super proud

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JacksonCM
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 08 2020
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My wife left me cause Im too insecure

Never mind she was just at the grocery store

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bribonzuelo92
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 01 2020
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Im koaling a day
πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/drakendorian
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 27 2020
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Its 1:30 and im drunk, thought this was comical

What did the hispanic who took 2 too many drugs say? Help i think I over(dos)ed

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/gangaking69
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 28 2020
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This year for Christmas, im going to buy a map for Chris Rea ...

He seems a bit lost, he's been driving home for Christmas since 1986

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/endmepleasehhh
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 20 2020
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im beautiful
πŸ‘οΈŽ 32
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PoopyMaster007
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 09 2020
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Some people say im some handsome guy

But without hands, im just some guy

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bayernfan25
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 16 2020
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A bloke came up to me and said im going to attack you with the neck of my guitar.

I said to him is that a Fret!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tiger7971
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 13 2020
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My dad went to the store to buy milk, i said β€œsure, old man” and he said β€œim not good at comebacks”

I never saw him again

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DogEatingSpaghetti
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 20 2020
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My job installed this new faucet. Im really faucinated by it
πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ATMiceli
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 16 2020
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Im dead inside

I'm literally a skeleton moving with clothes

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Migzzz831
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 17 2020
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Im trying to make a joke about cartography

I just need someone to help map it out

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HunterGrayBeard
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 05 2020
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Theres 3.3 million people in here so I figured id go ahead and post that im looking for one night stand.

Matter of fact, make it 2. I need one for each lamp.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kriskidd21
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 27 2020
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Im really at a cross roads here
πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ATMiceli
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 13 2020
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Anti wax or smth, idk im not autistic
πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DawnofX
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 25 2020
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I have nothing to say... But im sorry
πŸ‘οΈŽ 22
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/alastair-tut
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 29 2020
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Im near sighted and tone deaf

I can’t C sharp, but I am the dad of A minor, That boy is nothing but treble.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 31
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Zeffer90
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 18 2020
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Neutron to electron: i think im decaying into a proton

Electron: are you sure?

Neutron: im nearly positive

Electron: ive never been so attracted to you

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ponylover9628
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 16 2020
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So im about ten years old walking home from school with my mates..

When a chap in a van pulls up gets out and says there is a new leather sette and a leather chair in the van you can have it free of charge.

We decided to take it to our house. I told my dad expecting him to be pleased. Instead he came over and clipped my ear with the back of his hand.

Crying i said what was that for. My dad said How many times do i have to tell you. DONT TAKE SUITES OFF STRANGERS!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tiger7971
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Im sorry if this post is unnerving
πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ATMiceli
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 17 2020
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Im good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet.

I don't know Y.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/The_Apefucker
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 11 2020
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im sorry... so sorry

https://preview.redd.it/q5qwe293xq351.png?width=850&format=png&auto=webp&s=012dd15015339e123d09a939a70fc64b604e11d4

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/blipityblob
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I think im gonna need to buy some adderall for my camera

Because its having trouble focusing

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Joshd175
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 14 2020
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Im sofa king done
πŸ‘οΈŽ 42
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ATMiceli
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 29 2020
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am I right ? of course Im on the left wing :D
πŸ‘οΈŽ 27
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cihan_emre
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 29 2020
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Im dieing of laughter
πŸ‘οΈŽ 6k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ItzYaBoi25
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 27 2019
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Im going to start collecting highlighters

Mark my words!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 23
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Whlightning
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 24 2020
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Im not addicted to brake fluid, I swear!

I can stop anytime!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/potatogamer555
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 20 2020
🚨︎ report

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