IM Puns

I know it sounds crazy now, but I think eventually it will make a lot of cents…

...guess you could call me a serial sinner

Does anyone know one that woodwork?

... they are usually shocked

Never mind!! Hair loss.

Never mind she was just at the grocery store

I'm afraid they'll go ape on me

I've seen enough

just a few hours ago my brother was talking about buying cinnamon rolls from his english teacher who bakes and sells it on instagram as a side hustle and i said IF SHES AN ENGLISH TEACHER SHE SHOULD CALL THEM SYNONYM ROLLS and honestly im super proud

I’m drawing a line in the sand.

Shit, never mind the thought left me.

And that it sunk on the 5th of May which is why we commemorate the Sinko de Mayo

What did the hispanic who took 2 too many drugs say? Help i think I over(dos)ed

hi hungry im dad was the response no i said, mom just gave me the dna testing

I said to him is that a Fret!

But without hands, im just some guy

He seems a bit lost, he's been driving home for Christmas since 1986

I never saw him again

I'm literally a skeleton moving with clothes

Because im really dadicated to the bit

Matter of fact, make it 2. I need one for each lamp.

I just need someone to help map it out

I can’t C sharp, but I am the dad of A minor, That boy is nothing but treble.

https://preview.redd.it/q5qwe293xq351.png?width=850&format=png&auto=webp&s=012dd15015339e123d09a939a70fc64b604e11d4

I don't know Y.

Electron: are you sure?

Neutron: im nearly positive

Electron: ive never been so attracted to you

When a chap in a van pulls up gets out and says there is a new leather sette and a leather chair in the van you can have it free of charge.

We decided to take it to our house. I told my dad expecting him to be pleased. Instead he came over and clipped my ear with the back of his hand.

Crying i said what was that for. My dad said How many times do i have to tell you. DONT TAKE SUITES OFF STRANGERS!