Some heavy puns
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2019
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What's blue and not very heavy?

Light blue.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2021
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My 7 year old, gazing in wide eyed wonder asked, "Is the Aurora Borealis heavy?"

I said, "No, it's pretty light. "

πŸ‘︎ 521
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2021
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How heavy is a photon?

I'm not sure, myself, but I know it's light.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AFonziScheme
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2021
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My hard bound copy of β€œFahrenheit 451” is really heavy.

Can someone lend me a lighter?

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2021
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What’s green and not very heavy?

Light green

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2021
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How can you tell how heavy a red hot chilli pepper is?

Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TKCZBW_
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
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How did the orchestra attract heavy metal fans?

With a super conductor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stage_directions
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2021
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What is blue and not heavy?

Light blue

Edit: Thank you fellow internet strangers for all the awards!

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NYC_Dweller
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
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I listen to every type of music except heavy metal

Because heavy metals are toxic.

(I -22f- have created this joke when i was 15, I was waiting for an opportunity to disgust people with it. So here you go reddit lol)

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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Which heavy metal band is Santa's favourite?

Sleigh-er.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DoomRulz
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
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I lost a few digits recently when something heavy dropped on my foot. Today I got prosthetics for them.

Comment below if you’d like to see photos of my faux toes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/deceze
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2021
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What does a heavy rain cloud wear underneath?

Thunder-wear

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bunkabaab
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
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Gabe had a heavy load this semester

Math, physics, comp sci. The only easy class was "The American Century." Open book midterm and final, so he wasn't going to do any of the reading all semester.

β€œIt’s a huge waste of time, Dad,” he laughed when I objected. β€œI’m not learning a damn thing in the class.”

β€œWell, then you’re just going to have to take that class over again,” I snapped at him.

β€œWhat are you talking about?” he yelped.

β€œYou know why, Gabe,” I said. β€œThose who don’t learn from history are condemned to repeat it.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cja1968
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
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What is gray and not very heavy?

Light gray.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2019
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I was texting this nun and things were getting pretty hot and heavy. Then out of nowhere she stopped replying.

I still can’t believe she holy ghosted me

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SlippySlappers
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
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Who was the heavy weight champion of farts?

Gaseous Clay

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rumblebeard
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
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I used to work in a small infantry division that lost its heavy artillery budget...

...It really was a tankless job.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FIROEDA
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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A man is walking down the sidewalk dragging a long, heavy chain behind him. A woman asks him, "Why are you dragging that chain behind you, mister?"

The man says, "Lady, you ever tried to push one of these things out front?!?"

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
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The police were under heavy attack of the flies

They had to call the SWAT team!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/viky_boy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
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What's brown and not very heavy ?

Light brown

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2020
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How do you know all woodpeckers love heavy metal music?

Because they’re all head bangers. (Credit to my 11 year old).

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IsaacPickle
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
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What have you got to add to metal to get heavy metal?

lica

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
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If you have to carry a heavy hen...

It becomes a Birden.

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
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My wife ordered one of those new heavy blankets off Amazon but delivery took forever...

She says it was worth the weight.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/creativedamages
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
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This is Heavy
πŸ‘︎ 881
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Radish00
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2019
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My daughter wanted to know how heavy can 60 seconds be?

I said weight a minute!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SkyNetF1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
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What's blue and not heavy?

Light blue

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mitalily
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2021
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Whats blue and not heavy?

Light blue :)))

πŸ‘︎ 65
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GoldenGoat1997
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2021
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Is the Aurora Borealis heavy?

No, it’s pretty light...

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rhythmpatel
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
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Why was the lamp not heavy?

Because it's light

πŸ‘︎ 400
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thishotleafjuice
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
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What's blue and not very heavy?

Light blue

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/red_snake0329
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
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My son told me this joke: What's blue and not that heavy?

Light Blue

πŸ‘︎ 360
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wednesdaay
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
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What's blue and not very heavy?

Light blue.

πŸ‘︎ 673
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πŸ‘€︎ u/howiewu0402
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
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What's blue and not very heavy?

Light blue

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lolyfe-dc
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
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What is green and not very heavy?

Light Green

πŸ‘︎ 71
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
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How do you measure how heavy a red hot chili pepper is?

Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now...

πŸ‘︎ 247
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ScottyOfAus
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
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How do you measure how heavy a chili pepper is?

Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now.

πŸ‘︎ 155
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GrayingMantis
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Whats blue and not very heavy?

Light blue.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you know how heavy a red hot chili pepper is?

You give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now

πŸ‘︎ 434
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pprbckwrtr
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What is blue and not heavy?

Light blue.

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aashma360
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What's blue and not very heavy?

Light blue.

πŸ‘︎ 95
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wendru
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
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What is blue in color and not much heavy?

Light blue

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_clickhere_
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2020
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What’s blue and not heavy

Light blue

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SximplyAJ
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2019
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What is Blue and not heavy?

Light blue.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_Floydian
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
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What is blue and not heavy?

Light blue.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MoeScet
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
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What’s brown and not very heavy?

Light brown

πŸ‘︎ 257
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you know how heavy a chili pepper is?

Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Murphy223
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
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What's blue and not so heavy?

Light blue

πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ‘€︎ u/oldgenmemelord
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2020
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