Gym puns
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︎ May 20 2019
My date was supposed meet me at the gym but they didn't show up.
That's when I knew we weren't going to work out.
π︎ 1k
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︎ Feb 08 2021
A man in my gym just proposed and she said no.
They didnβt workout.
Edited: It changed to they.
Thanks lornstar7
π︎ 275
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︎ Jan 30 2021
No-one laughs when I respond to "How was the gym?" with
"Heavy."
It's like my jokes carry no weight.
π︎ 80
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︎ Jan 18 2021
My personal trainer was upset at me because I kept using the same machine at the gym
It was the vending machine
π︎ 31
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︎ Jan 31 2021
These two jacked missionaries came to my door glorifying their new gym.
I told them I had no interest in joining Jehovah's Fitness.
π︎ 30
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︎ Feb 03 2021
Why did the student take her math homework to gym class?
She wanted to work out her problems
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︎ Feb 12 2021
So I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?"
He said "How flexible are you?". I said "I can't make Tuesdays".
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︎ Jan 13 2021
I asked the trainer at the gym, which machine I should use to impress the ladies?
He pointed outside and said "The ATM machine. "
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︎ Jan 03 2021
My bodybuilder friend decided to quit the gym and get into seminary school instead.
Either way, he is cross training.
π︎ 9
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︎ Feb 01 2021
Why did the hamburger go to the gym?
π︎ 12
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︎ Jan 20 2021
I went to my local Gym to learn to do the splits...
Gym instructor said: 'How flexible are you?'
Me: 'I can't make Tuesdays'
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︎ Jan 27 2021
Today I asked a hot girl at the gym what her new year's resolution was. She replied βScrew you!β
So I'm pretty excited for the new year!
π︎ 35
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︎ Dec 21 2020
Why did a car go to the gym?
π︎ 8
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︎ Jan 19 2021
Why arenβt there any patrons in the gym on Sundays?
π︎ 4
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︎ Jan 31 2021
A gym buff was denied an entry to an elevator
The reason was he whey too much.
π︎ 7
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︎ Jan 15 2021
The gyms must stay open.
The Constitution guarantees the Freedom of the Press!
π︎ 52
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︎ Dec 11 2020
I haven't been to the gym in years
It's been so long that I've gone back to calling it James
π︎ 8
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︎ Jan 07 2021
Last week I went to the gym almost every day ...
... almost on Monday, almost on Tuesday ...
π︎ 31
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︎ Dec 02 2020
Where is the GYM located at Hogwarts?
Right through the Dumbell Door
π︎ 269
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︎ Sep 29 2020
Why did all the gym members sign the bike?
Because it was stationary.
π︎ 3
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︎ Dec 27 2020
Why was the farmer arrested at the gym ?
He was destroying his calves
π︎ 4
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︎ Dec 23 2020
I did a few laps around the gym today.
π︎ 9
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︎ Nov 27 2020
Why is Jesus a great gym buddy?
π︎ 9
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︎ Oct 29 2020
What does a Priest do when he goes to the gym?
π︎ 73
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︎ Sep 11 2020
After years of worrying about my health, I made it to the gym today.
It feels like a weightβs been lifted from my chest.
π︎ 3
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︎ Nov 23 2020
Wife after the gym: "Ugh I can't feel my arms"
reaches out and touches her arm "Oh that's ok, I'll feel them for you!"
Anyways I'm divorced now.
π︎ 3
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︎ Nov 25 2020
I started going to the gym in my tuxedo, everything went well except the weight lifting...
π︎ 245
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︎ Sep 13 2020
Why don't some couples go to the gym?
Because some relationships don't work out.
π︎ 10
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︎ Oct 16 2020
Overheard two guys at the gym this morning.
Guy 1: Bro could you pass me that pamphlet?
Guy 2: Bro, sure
π︎ 15
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︎ Oct 21 2020
My wife says I should join a gym...
π︎ 5
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︎ Nov 01 2020
What happened to the egg that kept going to the gym?
π︎ 6
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︎ Oct 08 2020
I keep winning the "Laziest Member" award at my gym.
π︎ 18
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︎ Aug 26 2020
I just saw real a real idiot at the gym.
He put a water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.
π︎ 81
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︎ Jul 25 2020
Why did the chicken go to the gym?
π︎ 142
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︎ Jun 13 2020
I was going to ask this girl out at my gym but she only had one leg and...
I'm lack toes intolerant.
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︎ Sep 28 2020
A man proposes to a girl in the gym and she says no
I guess you could say that didn't workout.
π︎ 5
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︎ Sep 05 2020
I always try to push other people at the gym
I once knocked an old woman into a treadmill
π︎ 3
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︎ Sep 09 2020
Honestly, I don't mind leg day at the gym.
It's just the two days after that I can't stand.
π︎ 2k
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︎ Nov 29 2019
Why teddy bears don't go to the gym?
They don't wanna get ripped
π︎ 51
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︎ Apr 17 2020
I ran into my ex girlfriend at the gym.
π︎ 33
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︎ May 26 2020
So I proposed my girlfriend at the gym yesterday
π︎ 36
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︎ Jun 02 2020
I asked my date to meet me at the gym today. She didnβt show up.
That's when I knew we weren't gonna work out.
π︎ 24
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︎ Feb 06 2021
Why did the hamburger go to the gym?
π︎ 3
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︎ Nov 28 2020
Where in Hogwarts is the GYM located?
Right through the Dumbell door.
π︎ 8
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︎ Sep 29 2020
Where is the gym located at Hogwarts?
Just out the dumbbell door.
π︎ 5
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︎ Oct 01 2020
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