Whatโ€™s a stock traders favorite band?

Green Day!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/flashbangthunder2
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 19 2021
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What do you call a small strand of DNA?

A ge-gnome.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/silverscreen13
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 02 2020
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An interesting tidbit about usage

Is that it starts with USA

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/MaxCanada
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 21 2017
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A question which needs to be answered!!

Do oranges are named ora ges because oranges are orange or orange is named orange cuz oranges are orange?

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Putinlovestrump
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 04 2019
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Got this birthday card for my dad and it's filled with Dad Jokes!

http://imgur.com/a/u4tGe

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/flippinsweet264
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 30 2015
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Went to dinner with my grandfather

He ordered a pot pie that had been advertised that the restaurant had been serving since 1976.

Every time someone asked him how it was ge would reply that it was great for having been in the fridge since the 70s.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Wadeace
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 19 2016
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Got some great news from my dad yesterday

Him: My test results came in. The tumors in my lungs and back haven't spread and have begun shrinking thanks to the treatment.

Me: That's wonderful!!!

Him: They're still there but at least they haven't increased by one and become tremors.

Me: Hm? I don't ge......oh goddammit.

My dad everyone. Even when battling cancer, there's still time to make a joke.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/whitesummerside
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 11 2015
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The 10 year long dad joke.

When i was growing up my dad would always tell this one joke.

"Once upon time there was a daddy tomato, a mommy tomato, and a baby tomato. One day the tomato family went for a walk, however the baby tomato started to fall behind. The daddy tomato got angry and went back to baby tomato stomped on him and said ketch-up"

He told this joke at least once a month for ten years. When I was sixteen he showed me Pulp Fiction. I nearly killed him at this scene https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NrGeOHpEGk0

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/bontemps343
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 26 2015
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Hey, do you think you can write a Spanish essay for me?

Me and my friends were talking about the amount of schoolwork I'll be involved next semester. One of the courses I am taking is a Spanish class to fulfill a GE so I can graduate next semester. My friend, who's fluent in Spanish, told me it'll be a piece of cake.

Me: Hey, if Spanish is easy for you, do you think you can write my essays for me? (jokingly)

Him: I'll consider it. Depends on how hard the course is and what books you have to read for the class.

Me: Well, for the final paper, do you think you can give me a C, ese?

Him: Yeah, that shou... wait...

He let out a horrible groan while the other immediately got up and left the room while groaning. I'm pretty sure I could've made it a little bit better, but I'm happy with that.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/hurdleboy
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 05 2014
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My Dad Dad joked me and he didn't know it

We were leaving the gastroenterologist (butt doctor) the other day and my dad said to me

Dad: "I am glad that we got there early. Did you see how backed up he was when we left?"

Me: "Ha! That was a good one!"

Dad: "I don't geโ€ฆOh. Uggh"

My favourite dad joke my dad has told me to date.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/wikipuff
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 24 2015
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