dont know if its already been posted but pls this is gold
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ“…︎ May 30 2021
🚨︎ report
I think this may have been posted already, but this is gold
πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bfreeman0
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2021
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Old but gold
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nis_sama
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2021
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Comedic gold
πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/meow__meg
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2021
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I accidentally swallowed a small gold nugget...

I accidentally swallowed a small gold nugget and dug through my feces to find it. My wife walked in and asked me what I was doing. I told her I was just mining my own business.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ConcentrationKemp
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2021
🚨︎ report
When I was at school I had it tough. Other kids would throw lumps of gold at me.

I was a victim of bullion.

πŸ‘︎ 57
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eternal_Punshine
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2021
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I’m ready to share my Grandma’s special Gold soup recipe: first you boil the water,

... then add 24 carrots

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PileOfThoughts
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2021
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What does a chemist say when he spills boiling gold all over himself?

Au

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_ukrs
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2021
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My song recently went gold

It's soft rock

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2021
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I pulled a muscle digging for gold....

no worries though, it's just a miner injury.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Texgymratdad
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2021
🚨︎ report
If you want to get into the gold market you need a thick skin.

There’s lots of bullion involved.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/donttakethechip
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2021
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My embarrassing hobby is covering the fifth letter of the alphabet in a thin layer of gold …

It's a gilt-E pleasure.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2021
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Gold peanuts
πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LazyYoda
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2021
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Old But Gold.
πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TopDawg117
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2021
🚨︎ report
Old Gold
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mister_Aitch
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
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Discord chats sometimes have gold
πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
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What did the chemist say when he dropped a bar of gold on his foot?

AU!

πŸ‘︎ 177
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πŸ‘€︎ u/who_8_my_pasta_
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between Michelob ultra and pure gold?

One is a minor fined, the other is a miner's find.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2021
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I love GOLD , but *A* is silent in it!#chem punsΖͺ(˘⌣˘)Κƒβ”Œ(β˜…ο½β˜†)β”˜
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AromaticAd9528
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
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OP's post is for context but the comments are gold
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2021
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Gold walks into a bar

The bartender says "AU get out of here!"

πŸ‘︎ 187
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πŸ‘€︎ u/awkunzler
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend Ty came first in the Beijing marathon, but wasn’t awarded a gold medal.

The Chinese refuse to acknowledge Ty won.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Why don’t chickens like to mine for gold?

They might find a nugget.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Professor_Smartax
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2021
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This is gold
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MetropolisCourier
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
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I just joined an online site for gold miner dating.

My first search for a mate brought no matches, but did give me plenty of prospects.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
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I couldn’t remember this guys name but knew it was Nate Gold-something.

So I just said A’U.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HappyRamenMan
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2021
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What do you call a dinosaur without gold?

A dinosr.

πŸ‘︎ 88
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TroyExplores
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
🚨︎ report
No need for gold. I'm fine with silver(ware).
πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ApologeticKid
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
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How do gold fishes get old?

Take away the G

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
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i saw some joke about gold

it was Ausome

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigGayDinosaurs
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
"Thanks for the gold, kind stranger"

I said as I was taking away his dental implant.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Schrodingers_liar
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
The gold standard
πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JukeboxSommelier
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
🚨︎ report
A youth soccer team that won gold at a tournament also stopped a thief that same day.

And he would have gotten away with it if it weren't for those medalling kids.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ninety-five95
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
There’s a sailor who is always finding fool’s gold

We call him the iron pirate.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jlionbad
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
A fog rolled in and turned my car into gold!

Must have been an alche-mist.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SegavsCapcom
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Since the very beginning, man has been panning for gold and using it as trade.

Our ancestors called it the prime-ore-deal soup

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sanicle
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I think about this way too much but I think it's comedy gold!

Mother in law to sister in law: why aren't you in pennsylvania this week

Me: because she's here at the table with us

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dunnitt625
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
🚨︎ report
A child was slightly injured while digging for gold

Not to worry, only Minor Miner Injuries

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I pulled a muscle digging for gold.

It was just a miner injury.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rmath12
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2021
🚨︎ report
I pulled a muscle while digging up gold

It's just a miner injury

πŸ‘︎ 112
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πŸ‘€︎ u/crimsonangel68
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
🚨︎ report
This is gold.

Au

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OliPark
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2021
🚨︎ report
I pulled a muscle while I was digging for gold.

Just a miner injury.

πŸ‘︎ 157
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DiosMioMan2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the chemist say when he dropped a bar of gold on his foot?

Au!

πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Salman_R
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I pulled a muscle digging for gold

Just a miner injury!!

πŸ‘︎ 59
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Whlightning
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I pulled a muscle digging for gold

Just a miner injury

πŸ‘︎ 73
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trtlman
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend Ty came first in the Beijing marathon, but he wasn’t given the gold medal.

The Chinese authorities refuse to recognize Ty Won.

πŸ‘︎ 680
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2020
🚨︎ report

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