The past, the present, and the future walked into a bar
And things got a little tense.
You can use ketchup to tell the future
In Heinzsight you probably can't
Lets go back to the future!
A Solid Future
I told my son he should be a cement contractor. I told him that field has a solid future.
The Pasta, Present and Future [OC]
I really don't see much future for Advent Calendars
It feels like their days are numbered.
The most important question before choosing your future wife ...
Finally got around to watching the whole “Back to the Future” trilogy!
The light of my life, a future dad:
Where do fat people go when they want to see into the future?
I didn't put my watch back this weekend, so I'm living in the future.
If there's anything you want to know, about what's going to happen, just ask me.
Doctor I think I’ve gained the ability to see into the future
It all started next Tuesday
In far future, in a robot-only disco, one of the dancers suddenly shuts down.
The doctor arrives and after a quick inspection he calms the crowd:
“Don’t worry, he just got disco-nnected.”
If you time travel to the future and get decapitated-
You really are a head of your time
In the future, historians will call 2020 the Hindsight year because we have clearly seen it all
When the past, present, and future go camping they always argue.
It's intense tense in tents
I once had a dream about the future
There was milk in the fridge
Your mother couldn’t believe that an actual skunk could predict the future.
But it was a real fortune smeller.
Good punmanship is an investment in your future
In the future...
In 1,000 years, snails will evolve into being an advanced civilization. They will develop their own advanced technologies. In an effort to increase their mobility, they will equip their shells to be modular vehicles called Snail Cars, S-Car for short. Since snails do not have upper extremities, controlling the cars will be voice activated. The initiation command would be, "S-Car, GO!" 😂🤣
I was watching back to the future and I am amazed at how well they hold up.
They truly were ahead of their time
My future boss asked if i could perform under pressure.
I said "No, but I can do a great Bohemian Rhapsody"
In the future it will be possible to incubate humans in artificial uteri. If you want yours in the one by the window, it will be more expensive.
After all, it always costs more for a womb with a view.
My dad invented a belt made of herbs that takes you 5 minutes into the future.
It took 6 minutes to put on. It was a waist of thyme
Future dad joke
Kiddo: Geez whiz dad, we didn't get any snow at all this year!
Papa: Yeah, it never used to be like this back in the colden days...
Everyone: sigh
Highlighter pens are the future.
If the price of oil futures goes any deeper, it will hit oil.
There is no Iran in the future
Which of the saints could predict the future?
How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer.
I’m worried my young daughter might have a future in crime. Today, she found a tree branch on the ground...
She immediately raised it above her head and said, “This is a stick up!”
(Credit to my 2.5 year old- inspired by true events)
George Washington predicted that some day in the future, a dollar bill will contain his likeness.
In that sense, he was on the money.
The past, present, and future walked into a bar...
The future, the present and the past walked into a bar,
Things got a little tense.
A Solid Future
I told my son he should be a cement contractor. I told him that field has a solid future.
The past, present and future walk into a room.
The future, the present and the past walked into a bar
Things got a little tense
If you time travel to the future and get decapitated-
You really are a head of your times
The past,The present and The future entered a bar
Past, present and future walked into a bar.
The past, present and future walk into a bar
The past, present and future walk into a bar
The past, present and future walk into the bar,
What does the past present and future have in common?
The past, present and future walk in to a bar..
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