The past, the present, and the future walked into a bar

And things got a little tense.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I am from the future
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/squidwardtron
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
🚨︎ report
You can use ketchup to tell the future

In Heinzsight you probably can't

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tragicsnow11740
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Lets go back to the future!
πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ki00b
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
🚨︎ report
A Solid Future

I told my son he should be a cement contractor. I told him that field has a solid future.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Divinepyramid
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
🚨︎ report
The Pasta, Present and Future [OC]
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChumpsLand
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I really don't see much future for Advent Calendars

It feels like their days are numbered.

πŸ‘︎ 69
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_fury_2000
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
The most important question before choosing your future wife ...

Which is witch ?

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/afarro
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Finally got around to watching the whole β€œBack to the Future” trilogy!

It’s about time.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bskizzy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
The light of my life, a future dad:
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rooftopfilth
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Where do fat people go when they want to see into the future?

A Four chin teller

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/trendfoll
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I didn't put my watch back this weekend, so I'm living in the future.

If there's anything you want to know, about what's going to happen, just ask me.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Doctor I think I’ve gained the ability to see into the future

It all started next Tuesday

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lucarboi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
🚨︎ report
In far future, in a robot-only disco, one of the dancers suddenly shuts down.

The doctor arrives and after a quick inspection he calms the crowd:

β€œDon’t worry, he just got disco-nnected.”

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/That-Grim-Reaper
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
🚨︎ report
If you time travel to the future and get decapitated-

You really are a head of your time

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
🚨︎ report
In the future, historians will call 2020 the Hindsight year because we have clearly seen it all
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JokerJangles123
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
🚨︎ report
When the past, present, and future go camping they always argue.

It's intense tense in tents

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/harshamfk
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I once had a dream about the future

There was milk in the fridge

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gl1tchyVirus
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Your mother couldn’t believe that an actual skunk could predict the future.

But it was a real fortune smeller.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/b33fb
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Good punmanship is an investment in your future
πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mortilsola
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2020
🚨︎ report
In the future...

In 1,000 years, snails will evolve into being an advanced civilization. They will develop their own advanced technologies. In an effort to increase their mobility, they will equip their shells to be modular vehicles called Snail Cars, S-Car for short. Since snails do not have upper extremities, controlling the cars will be voice activated. The initiation command would be, "S-Car, GO!" πŸ˜‚πŸ€£

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dan_the_Man0904
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I was watching back to the future and I am amazed at how well they hold up.

They truly were ahead of their time

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JukeboxHero5
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
🚨︎ report
My future boss asked if i could perform under pressure.

I said "No, but I can do a great Bohemian Rhapsody"

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cheezzlez
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2020
🚨︎ report
In the future it will be possible to incubate humans in artificial uteri. If you want yours in the one by the window, it will be more expensive.

After all, it always costs more for a womb with a view.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ivegot_back
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
🚨︎ report
My dad invented a belt made of herbs that takes you 5 minutes into the future.

It took 6 minutes to put on. It was a waist of thyme

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MexElf
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Future dad joke

Kiddo: Geez whiz dad, we didn't get any snow at all this year!

Papa: Yeah, it never used to be like this back in the colden days...

Everyone: sigh

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ohshitsherlock
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Highlighter pens are the future.

Mark my words.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/engineerwho_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
🚨︎ report
If the price of oil futures goes any deeper, it will hit oil.
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JaredLiwet
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
🚨︎ report
There is no Iran in the future
πŸ‘︎ 61
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GrohkWaifu
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Which of the saints could predict the future?

Saint Cristobal

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_thechancellor_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2020
🚨︎ report
How does a man show that he is planning for the future?

He buys two cases of beer.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hayeshilton
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m worried my young daughter might have a future in crime. Today, she found a tree branch on the ground...

She immediately raised it above her head and said, β€œThis is a stick up!”

(Credit to my 2.5 year old- inspired by true events)

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MiguelPopsicle
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2020
🚨︎ report
George Washington predicted that some day in the future, a dollar bill will contain his likeness.

In that sense, he was on the money.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2020
🚨︎ report
The past, present, and future walked into a bar...

...it was tense.

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_oddballwoofwoof_
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
🚨︎ report
The future, the present and the past walked into a bar,

Things got a little tense.

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Russell_Pinto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
🚨︎ report
A Solid Future

I told my son he should be a cement contractor. I told him that field has a solid future.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Divinepyramid
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
🚨︎ report
The past, present and future walk into a room.

It was tense

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BlankPhotos
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
🚨︎ report
The future, the present and the past walked into a bar

Things got a little tense

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
🚨︎ report
If you time travel to the future and get decapitated-

You really are a head of your times

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
🚨︎ report
The past,The present and The future entered a bar

It was tense

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Onowl
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Past, present and future walked into a bar.

It was tense.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CanAhJustSay
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
🚨︎ report
The past, present and future walk into a bar

It was tense.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pomfritten__
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
🚨︎ report
The past, present and future walk into a bar

It was tense

πŸ‘︎ 84
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DeletedForSpamm
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2020
🚨︎ report
The past, present and future walk into the bar,

Things got a bit tense.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What does the past present and future have in common?

t

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pvt_Daws
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2020
🚨︎ report
The past, present and future walk in to a bar..

It was tense.

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Wedge001
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2020
🚨︎ report

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