Yes don't forget to take it.
π︎ 2k
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︎ Mar 03 2021
I'll never forget my grandfather's last words before he kicked the bucket
"Do you wanna see how far I can kick that bucket?"
π︎ 216
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︎ Feb 20 2021
I'll never forget my grandfathers last words to me..
"Would you stop shaking the fucking ladder?!"
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︎ Jan 27 2021
Only two things make me forget about all the shit that's going on with my life. Comedy and......
π︎ 7
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︎ Mar 01 2021
DOES ANYONE ELSE FORGET THE ABBREVIATION FOR MAINE?
π︎ 63
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︎ Dec 29 2020
When I left home to go on a business trip, my wife said "Don't forget to write"
I thought, "That's unlikely... it's a basic skill, isn't it?"
π︎ 389
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︎ Dec 21 2020
Donβt forget to dress warm tomorrow
Itβs going to be minus 45.
π︎ 12
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︎ Jan 20 2021
Iβll never forget the day I saw the ugliest man Iβve ever seen.
The dude thought it was funny to copy my every move, heβs lucky there was a pane of glass between us.
π︎ 6
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︎ Jan 22 2021
I forget things once in awhile.
I have Someteimerβs.
(Courtesy of my mom).
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︎ Jan 29 2021
Was checking my son's essay about the countryside and saw he kept writing the word 'hll'. So I told him to never forget...
π︎ 8
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︎ Jan 14 2021
Don't forget you
π︎ 4
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︎ Dec 20 2020
I'll never forget the day I first met my wife. We were at a fancy dress party and she was stood there, looking gorgeous and slim, with her fat mate...
They'd gone together dressed as the number 10...
I knew there and then that she was the One!!
π︎ 70
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︎ Nov 06 2020
Donβt forget to tip the waitress
π︎ 125
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︎ Sep 02 2020
Why do beginner artist always forget to draw the stick figureβs thumb when they draw a fist?
They forgot the punchline
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︎ Oct 27 2020
I had a joke about a grizzly in my car but i always forget the punch line ..
π︎ 12
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︎ Nov 11 2020
A painter forgets to paint the trim a different color.
The home owner comes out and says βThatβs all white.β
π︎ 2
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︎ Nov 02 2020
Don't forget your protective eyewear
π︎ 22
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︎ Jul 17 2020
Iβll never forget the last thing my late grandfather said to me.
π︎ 171
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︎ Jul 06 2020
Why did the limping Donkey cross the road ?...Ahh forget it.
.. Sorry for such a lame Ass joke.
π︎ 20
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︎ Sep 22 2020
Why can't an elephant forget?
He has a trunk full of memories.
π︎ 10
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︎ Sep 27 2020
Who does a Muslim ask when he forgets about the greatest Mughal Emperor?
π︎ 5
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︎ Sep 20 2020
This might be hard to get, but a Man walks into a tavern and..ahh forget it.
π︎ 29
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︎ Aug 01 2020
What is that 1 memory that the computer will never forget?
π︎ 5
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︎ Aug 17 2020
I'll never forget when my dad told me, "Find yourself a girl with an embarrassing tattoo and try to convince her to marry you!β A little taken aback, I asked him what he meant. He explained...
βShe knows how to make bad decisions and stick by them!"
π︎ 11
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︎ Aug 24 2020
Dad: Hey, donβt forgetβ tomorrow is Fatherβs Day.
Me: Donβt forget its son day too.
π︎ 82
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︎ Jun 20 2020
My wife said, βWhy did you forget to get all the stuff from the grocery store that I wrote down?β
I said, βWhen I got there, I felt.....listless.β
π︎ 8
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︎ Jul 30 2020
When God integrated Planet Earth, he didnβt forget his integral calculus lesson.
He remembered to add the sea.
π︎ 8
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︎ Aug 01 2020
Donβt forget to tip your server
π︎ 1k
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︎ Apr 16 2019
Iβll never forget my 6th, 13th, 18th, 21st, 23rd, and 27th birthdays, they were great
Some of them were even prime!
π︎ 6
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︎ Jun 30 2020
Dad said to me "Do you ever go into a room and forget what you went in there for?"
Great dad, undistinguished fireman.
π︎ 7
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︎ Jun 29 2020
I hate it when I forget to turn off the toaster
I guess you can say I'm black toast intolerant
π︎ 18
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︎ Mar 29 2020
What do you call it when you forget where you put the bacon?
π︎ 5
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︎ Jun 06 2020
What happens when the teacher forgets the magnets for science lab?
π︎ 8
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︎ May 05 2020
When I reach home, my 1.5 y.o. son rushes out to the gate to sit in my lap while I park the car. Then he just grabs the steering and starts shaking it with brrrmmm brrrmmm sound. His cute antics always make me forget that he's suffering from a rare disease.
It's called Parking Son's disease.
Edit: Thanks for the gold, kind stranger.
π︎ 13k
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︎ Mar 12 2018
I'll never forget my dad's last words...
Are you sure it's loaded with blanks?
π︎ 21
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︎ Apr 14 2020
Iβll never forget my first visit to the rodeo.
π︎ 7
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︎ Apr 18 2020
Don't forget to watch the big parade tomorrow!
The calendars are going to March...
π︎ 21
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︎ Mar 01 2020
Donβt forget to dress warm tomorrow
I heard itβs going to be minus 45
π︎ 7
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︎ Jan 20 2021
When I was leaving home for the first time, my dad said to me, "Don't forget to write."
I thought, "That's unlikely. It's a basic skill, isn't it ?"
π︎ 21
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︎ Jan 01 2021
I'll never forget my old man's last words before he kicked the bucket:
"Son, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"
π︎ 94
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︎ Jul 03 2020
I will never forget the last thing what my late grandfather told me.
π︎ 46
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︎ Jul 08 2020
I'll never forget the last thing my dad said to me before he kicked the bucket.......
He said: "Son, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"
π︎ 14
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︎ Jul 28 2020
I'll never forget the last thing my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket.
"Watch how far I can kick this bucket!!!:
π︎ 68
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︎ Apr 22 2020
I told my dad, βDonβt forget tomorrow is Motherβs Day!β
Dad : Donβt forget itβs son day too.
π︎ 13
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︎ May 10 2020
Iβll never forget my dads last words before he kicked the bucket. He looked me in the eyes and said
βSonβ... βhow far do you think I can kick this bucket?β
π︎ 71
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︎ Feb 19 2020
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